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We need a startup to fix online dating

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Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#21

Post by fatalerrorx3 »

weeksie wrote: post #20
newobj wrote: post #18

If you weren't able to get a date from any of those sites then maybe the problem is you?

This. A thousand times, this. Every time I read a post about someone who can't get a date on OKCupid I roll my eyes. Then again, I live in New York so the high population density makes it a usable site. Sure, men outnumber women and women get more messages than men — but that's how the real world works as well. I've approached far more women in bars than have approached me. I imagine this is true for everybody except…

It can also be based on age range, the younger you are, the less likely you are to find success on a dating site, beings that there's a smaller dating population in your age range

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#22

Post by kissrdotco »

A friend of mine wrote a good series of blog posts about the issues with current online dating sites, many of which you mentioned.

http://gobigorgoho.me/post/5834417671/online-meeting

His startup aims to solve these problems and is set to relaunch in early 2013!

http://blog.acquaintable.com/

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#23

Post by Pinatubo »

fatalerrorx3 wrote: post #3
thisjustcamein wrote: post #2

I'm pretty familiar with the online dating industry both through business and my own personal involvement. While I agree with the issues that you raise (POF, for instance, has 6.6 guys per girls the last time I checked 6 years ago), I don't see how a new business model will really address this. Attractive women are being wooed all the time and that's not going to change. I think an online speed dating service for bus…

You could limit who can contact each user based on the requirement of filling out a "dating checklist" this means that women won't get inundated with messages and will actually respond to those who fit her requirements. Hey, there's your startup...video speed dating! lol

>>"Hey, there's your startup...video speed dating! lol"It would be like that South Park episode. Naked guy, naked guy, naked guy ...

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#24

Post by weeksie »

fatalerrorx3 wrote: post #21
weeksie wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This. A thousand times, this. Every time I read a post about someone who can't get a date on OKCupid I roll my eyes. Then again, I live in New York so the high population density makes it a usable site. Sure, men outnumber women and women get more messages than men — but that's how the real world works as well. I've approached far more women in bars than have approached me. I imagine this is true for everybody except…

It can also be based on age range, the younger you are, the less likely you are to find success on a dating site, beings that there's a smaller dating population in your age range

This goes for dating in general, it's not peculiar to dating sites.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#25

Post by rm445 »

'A' startup? As the article notes, there have been several attempts already and no clear winner.

Some observations about the online dating industry. There's a market opportunity - money has traditionally been made from dating/introduction services. They seem very suitable to move online. And they would seem to scale: in most services people match themselves, or an algorithm matches them, without involvement from the site staff. You would also expect network effects to be strong (customers want access to all the candidates in their geographical location) therefore rapid growth and huge revenue seems a possibility in a winner takes all kind of way.

So tell me: why has the online dating market not been locked up (pace occasional disruption) since 1999? My suspicion is the existing sites just don't have any way to differentiate themselves from the competition that actually makes a difference.

Online dating, if it can be 'fixed', will be fixed when someone has an insight into the underlying social question and manages to implement something unique.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#26

Post by waxman »

Try Grouper (https://www.joingrouper.com). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder].

The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird).

Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (and for women, potentially dangerous) to arrange a meeting. Meanwhile, labeling it as dating increases the pressure and the awkwardness for everyone.

Grouper Social Club sets up drinks between 2 groups of friends: 3 guys and 3 girls (or 3 guys, etc.).

There are no profiles or messages on our site. We match the groups together ourselves using Facebook info (which overcomes a lot of biases), then take care of all the coordination. Members pre-pay for their drink and the experience (the only fee), confirm a time, then we give them the place to meet.

We don't like labels, and don't think of Groupers as dates. To some they're similar, but the expectations are importantly different. Worst case: you're out with your friends and experience a funny story together, the average case is a super fun night out where there are some sparks between at least a pair of you, and the best case is, well, sky's the limit. Also, there's safety (and less awkwardness and more variety) in numbers.

We're live in 13 major cities in the US and Canada and growing quickly. 93% of members who go on a Grouper say they want to go on another one, and about half already have.

Our mission isn't to fix online dating, it's to end loneliness. Specifically, we want to help people get out from behind the blue glow of their computer screens and actually connect with people.

Social networks and online dating sites can be more isolating than social. But they don't have to be.

Shoot me an email at Michael [at] joingrouper.com if you have any questions.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#28

Post by kaliblack »

rm445 wrote: post #25

'A' startup? As the article notes, there have been several attempts already and no clear winner. Some observations about the online dating industry. There's a market opportunity - money has traditionally been made from dating/introduction services. They seem very suitable to move online. And they would seem to scale: in most services people match themselves, or an algorithm matches them, without involvement from the…

One possible reason the market hasn't been locked up is mentioned in the article. Each of the services he tried had a different type of members.

I think if there's an opportunity it's not one of one-service-conquers-all. Small niche dating services may be more effective. The main advantage is that members start with things in common, depending on the niche. A disadvantage is that unless the gender mix is fairly even it will die. However, you could combine different, but compatible, communities.

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#29

Post by ajdecon »

I agree that the issues the OP brings up are problems -- at least from the perspective of a single man -- but I'm not sure these are problems with online dating so much as dating itself, or the world. The male:female ratio is a problem in most dating settings, for example.

In terms of whether online dating needs "fixed", I'd be interested in knowing how the success rates for online dating are better or worse than current offline methods (going clubbing, dating co-workers, whatever). My own worthless anecdotal experience shows a much higher rate of success in online dating than trying to meet people IRL. ("Worthless" because I met my wife online, and we naturally hang out with people who tend to spend lots of time on computers.)

Also, from the OP: I had average success on this service, but the reason it probably wasn’t better had to do with the fact that the Q&A section tended to expose character flaws that turned me off.

I think it's interesting that the OP was getting too much information about his potential partners... or at least, too much too early. Most people have flaws, and one advantage of traditional dating is that you learn about their flaws more slowly and have time to learn good things that mitigate them before getting scared off.

However, I think it's more likely that people are going to have to adjust to knowing more, rather than using services that expose less: more and more we live our lives online, and it's very easy to learn "too much" about someone just by using Google. We're either going to have to accept that people are flawed, or it's going to get even harder to find partners...

Re: We need a startup to fix online dating

#30

Post by mikeknoop »

waxman wrote: post #26

Try Grouper ( https://www.joingrouper.com ). [Full disclosure: I'm a co-founder]. The "browse-and-message" paradigm is fundamentally broken, not to mention a little dehumanizing (you're kind of shopping for people, which, let's face it, is pretty weird). Our take is that the biggest problems with online dating are both the online part and the dating part --- it's hard to gauge chemistry online and it's cumbersome (an…

Do you guys do mixed groups (2 guys, 1 girl -- etc)? In the future? Your messaging tries really hard not to label Grouper as a dating service but (3 girls) and (3 guys) is pretty transparent about what the intentions are for the two groups.

Lot's of growth avenues, looking forward to seeing this grow.

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