Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents • Hacker News Board

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#61

Post by dylan604 » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 10:45 PM UTC

chneu wrote: post #45

steveBK123 wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I umpired baseball in my early teens and even 30 years ago it was bad. Grown men getting into the face of 14 years old umpires over calls, at games for kids barely out of tee-ball. It just doesn’t matter that much. I remember a coach who would flip over 20 gallon coolers and send ice and drinks flying in the dugout.. in front of his team of 10 years old umpires olds.

I officiated basketball, baseball, softball and volleyball about 15-20 years ago on the west coast. It was bad then. So many drunk parents in baseball. I tossed parents from basketball games for cussing at their kids. Volleyball was pretty chill tho.

In Texas, there's an association, TASO, that is in charge of referees for all sports. There is no requirement about having experience in officiating at all. You attend a few meetings, pay the fees, and start officiating. The crazy thing is that once a TASO member, you can move from sport to sport. It's easy to see officials that are definitely out of their depth. As a player, it is insulting that they can't play their sport because the one in charge of the match is not very good. As parent, it's aggravating because their kid and teammates are getting boned. After personally experiencing the literal "inside baseball" of Texas high school officiating, they bring some of the flak on their officials in their attitude on who can be an official. I knew people that just slid from one sport to the next based on season as a source of a fairly decent income. Volleyball refs just sit in a chair, so physical fitness doesn't really limit how good of an official they can be. Soccer refs on the other hand...

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#62

Post by FireBeyond » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 10:45 PM UTC

Loughla wrote: post #16

qsort wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Quoting from the official website: >>>>>> The new procedure targets inappropriate behavior by parents and spectators directed at children, coaching staff members, referees, match officials, or other parents and spectators. This includes, but is not limited to: Verbal abuse (insults or profanity), as well as physical assault or shoving of one’s own children; Verbal abuse, physical assault, or shoving of staff members…

>If that's the situation in, and it can't be stressed enough, a children soccer game It's not extremely common in my area, but it is more common than you would think. Parents treat their children like lottery tickets when it comes to athletics. And God help you if you're the unfortunate umpire at a travel league game that makes a questionable call. The youth sports industry is fucking gross and nobody seems to notice…

Absolutely - I used to referee basketball in Australia, including at a high level.

Extremely high level junior, was generally not an issue. As was true local league.

It was the intermediates, the travel leagues. Where "your kid is good but is still not going to be a pro" (the NBA sends a letter to all new D1 college players congratulating them on the effort they've put in to get this far - and to focus on their education, as the NBA drafts D1 college players, let alone anybody else). Those were the ones where the parents were convinced that their kid was going to be a pro and the only thing holding him back was "that fucking referee".

We had the power to eject those parents from the venue. Which was usually a conversation that went something like this:

Ref: You need to leave the venue until the end of the game.

Parent: It's my fucking kid's game and I'm not leaving and you can't fucking make me.

Ref: You're right, I can't remove you from the venue. I can however forfeit the game on your child's behalf.

Kid: Daaaad. [usually weary as this tends not to happen just the once]. Go and wait in the car. Pleaseeeee.

Parent: I will go and wait in the car, and we're going to wait and when you come out, you and I are going to fucking get into it, ref.

Cue security, if not police, walking refs to their cars.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#63

Post by FireBeyond » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 10:48 PM UTC

dylan604 wrote: post #61

chneu wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I officiated basketball, baseball, softball and volleyball about 15-20 years ago on the west coast. It was bad then. So many drunk parents in baseball. I tossed parents from basketball games for cussing at their kids. Volleyball was pretty chill tho.

In Texas, there's an association, TASO, that is in charge of referees for all sports. There is no requirement about having experience in officiating at all. You attend a few meetings, pay the fees, and start officiating. The crazy thing is that once a TASO member, you can move from sport to sport. It's easy to see officials that are definitely out of their depth. As a player, it is insulting that they can't play thei…

That's the association's problem, not the referees. When I refereed basketball in Australia, referee grading was done according to FIBA standards and you had to be evaluated before any promotion in your referee grade and that could be (at the lowest levels) 3 games on 3 occasions through to 10 games or more. And when we got to a certain (albeit relatively high) level, we'd have every game recorded and reviewed.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#64

Post by charlieyu1 » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 10:54 PM UTC

hakunin wrote: post #2

I wonder how would this work in terms of fairness to the team that's likely to win. If a match is abandoned, what does it mean for progressing in a tournament, etc. Could there be a perverse incentive to cause a black card to abort a lost game? I'm sure this has all been thought through, but the article doesn't seem to say anything about it.

When a ref abandons a match it is up to the board to decide what to do with the result. In senior games often the offenders get a lost. Plus this is youth games so results matter less.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#65

Post by dylan604 » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 11:00 PM UTC

FireBeyond wrote: post #63

dylan604 wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In Texas, there's an association, TASO, that is in charge of referees for all sports. There is no requirement about having experience in officiating at all. You attend a few meetings, pay the fees, and start officiating. The crazy thing is that once a TASO member, you can move from sport to sport. It's easy to see officials that are definitely out of their depth. As a player, it is insulting that they can't play thei…

That's the association's problem, not the referees. When I refereed basketball in Australia, referee grading was done according to FIBA standards and you had to be evaluated before any promotion in your referee grade and that could be (at the lowest levels) 3 games on 3 occasions through to 10 games or more. And when we got to a certain (albeit relatively high) level, we'd have every game recorded and reviewed.

No disagreement, which is why I said that the association is to blame. If a ref isn't good enough yet they still continue to be assigned games, then the org allowing that to happen is at fault. The immediate response is that they don't have enough officials to to start sitting officials based on performance/ability. That's just further indictment to me, but "it's just a kid's game" blah blah.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#66

Post by kamarg » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 11:00 PM UTC

dylan604 wrote: post #60

Loughla wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>If that's the situation in, and it can't be stressed enough, a children soccer game It's not extremely common in my area, but it is more common than you would think. Parents treat their children like lottery tickets when it comes to athletics. And God help you if you're the unfortunate umpire at a travel league game that makes a questionable call. The youth sports industry is fucking gross and nobody seems to notice…

I spent several years as a soccer ref including high school matches. It never failed that every time I hit my whistle, the side of the stadium opposite of the direction of me signaling the foul would always erupt in jeers. You could always tell the helicopter parents complaining about non-calls not appreciating that soccer is a contact sport. There was only one game where the officiating crew was escorted by police,…

As teens my brother and I both refed youth soccer. The parents were the absolute worst part of the experience. One of them actually followed my brother back to his car after a game to yell at him more. It was so bad that the ref association took the guy to what I've always called "soccer court" (not sure what it actually was) to have him banned from coming back for the rest of the season. That was a U-12 girls rec game by the way.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#67

Post by dylan604 » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 11:05 PM UTC

kamarg wrote: post #66

dylan604 wrote: post #60

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I spent several years as a soccer ref including high school matches. It never failed that every time I hit my whistle, the side of the stadium opposite of the direction of me signaling the foul would always erupt in jeers. You could always tell the helicopter parents complaining about non-calls not appreciating that soccer is a contact sport. There was only one game where the officiating crew was escorted by police,…

As teens my brother and I both refed youth soccer. The parents were the absolute worst part of the experience. One of them actually followed my brother back to his car after a game to yell at him more. It was so bad that the ref association took the guy to what I've always called "soccer court" (not sure what it actually was) to have him banned from coming back for the rest of the season. That was a U-12 girls rec ga…

That's the perfect age for shitty parents as that's the age where the "good" players have left rec and moved to club teams so that the ones that are left are the ones with bent out of shape parents for their kid not making a club team.

Not all parents are assholes, and as a solo coach, there's no way I could have survived without some of the parent's support with various aspects of managing a team. By the third or fourth season, the parents that had started with me would help wrangle some of the other parents.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#68

Post by LanceH » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 11:15 PM UTC

steveBK123 wrote: post #22

Loughla wrote: post #16

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>If that's the situation in, and it can't be stressed enough, a children soccer game It's not extremely common in my area, but it is more common than you would think. Parents treat their children like lottery tickets when it comes to athletics. And God help you if you're the unfortunate umpire at a travel league game that makes a questionable call. The youth sports industry is fucking gross and nobody seems to notice…

I umpired baseball in my early teens and even 30 years ago it was bad. Grown men getting into the face of 14 years old umpires over calls, at games for kids barely out of tee-ball. It just doesn’t matter that much. I remember a coach who would flip over 20 gallon coolers and send ice and drinks flying in the dugout.. in front of his team of 10 years old umpires olds.

Baseball in particular has a problem with anger is the arguments. Like there is no argument without a hostile tone. Players/managers never seem to merely appeal a call -- they jump straight to harsh yelling.

Compare it to soccer where there is also a lot of whininess in the complaining about calls.

It's become accepted that vulgar, angry, disagreement is acceptable until it goes "too far".

Tantrums are just socially accepted in baseball, and some other sports.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#69

Post by LanceH » Sun, Sep 13, 2026, 11:17 PM UTC

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #53

We could use one for US Little League. Ever watched the parents at those games?

I used to introduce myself to the cop who would work each wrestling tournament our teams were in. They always had a chill time at wrestling, and I asked them which sport was the worst. Basketball. Every single one of them said basketball without hesitation.

Re: Romania soccer introduces black card to 'combat abusive behaviour' from parents

#70

Post by mbreese » Mon, Sep 14, 2026, 1:48 AM UTC

dylan604 wrote: post #67

kamarg wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As teens my brother and I both refed youth soccer. The parents were the absolute worst part of the experience. One of them actually followed my brother back to his car after a game to yell at him more. It was so bad that the ref association took the guy to what I've always called "soccer court" (not sure what it actually was) to have him banned from coming back for the rest of the season. That was a U-12 girls rec ga…

That's the perfect age for shitty parents as that's the age where the "good" players have left rec and moved to club teams so that the ones that are left are the ones with bent out of shape parents for their kid not making a club team. Not all parents are assholes, and as a solo coach, there's no way I could have survived without some of the parent's support with various aspects of managing a team. By the third or fo…

> By the third or fourth season, the parents that had started with me would help wrangle some of the other parents

This is where we were with one of my kids' teams. Once they got older and split into the elite-national/regional club level (about U12), the parents were not healthy. Over time, the parents started to realize that their kid wasn't likely to play D1 college soccer, so there wasn't a point in being "those parents".

It also helped that a few of us that either coached, played, or ref'd would "help guide" the other parents. It is now to the point where I wouldn't want my kid to change teams because our parents are so awesome.