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The Real Luxuries In Life

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Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#101

Post by seizethecheese »

nutjob2 wrote: post #68
Multiplayer wrote: post #5

Time with my young adult children. They are all out of the house, recently, and there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more valuable/meaningful to us than when they come home for a visit or we spend time out in the world. It's incredible.

I never enjoyed spending time with my late parents. I only did so out of a sense of obligation. I have no children and have never really given that choice a second thought. Its interesting that people value their relationship with their children so much and I assume its due to a deep sense of connection with them, they being "flesh and blood" but I've never given that any weight. I feel much more connected to people…

It’s actually incomprehensible as a non parent. Your entire psychology re-orients after kids.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#102

Post by hehimself »

mrec wrote: post #75
zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back. One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.

That is quite opposite of weakness. Your entire life is exercising power of your mind. What is left if you take it away? Do the thing you love and you will find your happiness.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#103

Post by pmg101 »

polpenn wrote: post #88
zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

I agree with some of what you listed here but a few I think are critical to being human. What's the point of not having needs? Desires are what makes us human. I have kids and family and friends that love me and them in return but I don't believe that makes me weak. In fact it is the opposite, they give me the strength, confidence, and motivation to power through life. I supoose not having any needs and desires would…

Without them then you wouldn't have strength, confidence or motivation and you wouldn't power through life. But you might be just as happy?

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#104

Post by cejast »

zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

I have to regularly travel to rural villages in Asia and the people that live in these places have only the most basic human desires. They barely know what an LLM is let alone interact with them. They're some of the happiest people I've ever met.

Of course they'll complain about work or money, and they assume that a Western salary buys me freedom. But they get to live through these luxuries on a daily basis. I'd be lucky to enjoy just one of these in any given week.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#105

Post by WJW »

cm2012 wrote: post #95
zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

It's true that if you lower your expectations enormously that it's easier to hit them.

It's also true that if you raise you expectations enough then you will never be able to hit them.

Keep in mind that it's not always a case of "shoot for the stars but hit the moon if you miss", sometimes it's "shoot for the stars and suffer crippling burnout for 20 years, after which it's too late to recover to anything meaningful".

Being realistic, for all it's boringness, does have advantages.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#106

Post by [deleted] »

zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

[deleted]

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#107

Post by zkmon »

mathgeek wrote: post #96
zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

> The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. Fewer. Everyone will always have some dependencies and needs. Personally, I pity anyone who sees a desire to be loved as a weakness. That’s quite literally a lesson taught as a trope about being a good person vs an evil one.

Being loved is not a weakness. But a strong requirement to be loved is a weakness because that means you don't have strength to be happy without being loved.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#108

Post by anon3949494 »

zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

I agree with the gist what you're saying, like ditching the ego, the status chasing, etc. But dragging stuff like staying connected, being knowledgable, enjoying good food, and travel is where this goes a bit too far. A rock has zero dependencies, but nobody wants to be a rock.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#110

Post by brazukadev »

mck- wrote: post #90
mrec wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back. One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.

Even just asking that question implies self-judgment and a need to “do the right thing”. Perhaps just be, and that is enough.

> Perhaps just be, and that is enough.

Don't be evil tho

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