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The Real Luxuries In Life

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Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#81

Post by lexandstuff »

bluebarbet wrote: post #48
smokel wrote: post #34

Time seems to be one of the most valuable luxuries. AFAIK it is not entirely clear why time seems to pass faster when one grows older. One argument is that the older brain does not form memories as intricate as in the younger brain. Has anyone experimented with actively making more complex memories to make time pass slower? Seems like the best approach to living longer, at least in experience.

If you spend a year in prison then the time will pass incredibly slowly, but in retrospect (this is what prisoners usually say) the ordeal will seem quite short. Conversely, if you spend the year furiously partying or traveling or trying new adventure sports then the retrospective memory will be full to the brim, but the year itself will pass in an instant. It all seems quite logical to me. There's no negotiating wit…

I worked in a mattress factory for a while, doing the same repetitive task day in and out.

I remember feeling like the days passed painfully slowly, but the years flew by.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#84

Post by Slow_Hand »

Jeaye wrote: post #59
malux85 wrote: post #12

40. The luxuries I am grateful for: Sleeping in as much as I need Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization Not ever having to worry about bills The love from my partner Having the ability to help others selflessly The wisdom I have gained over the last 20 years of life The incredible people around me

Would you mind sharing an example of "Working on something meaningful that pushes at the edge of my self actualization"? In my experience, work, even when meaningful, is quite separate from self actualization. I'm interested to hear how you're combining them.

I’m not OP, but I can speak to my own experience.

I am approaching 40 and in two weeks I will begin clowning lessons with a Cirque du Soleil clown. I am thrilled.

So why clown as a discipline? Something deeply misunderstood and that probably lowers my social status with people who don’t understand it? Something with zero career utility? Because to me it represents extreme vulnerability.

I’m a pretty dignified person. A lot of poise. Goofy, but restrained. If I can debase myself in front of an audience in order to win a laugh then I believe I can do anything.

If I can (figuratively) hang my ass out for all to see then I can move with confidence. If I can blow past my natural inclination to save face, or have the answers. If I can discard the emotional hangups that make me feel embarrassed then I can be the person who I (and I suspect a great number of us) want to be deep down.

I want to (constructively) tear down everything inside of me that restrains me and discover who I can really be.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#85

Post by eastbound »

nuancebydefault wrote: post #66
mmaunder wrote: post #22

Health determines the quality and quantity of time, so put that at the top above all else.

I would put love above health. Suppose you are perfectly healthy and even rich but have no friends to share anything with, life must be meaningless then.

[flagged]

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#87

Post by jimmydddd »

ivolimmen wrote: post #46
Multiplayer wrote: post #5

Time with my young adult children. They are all out of the house, recently, and there is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more valuable/meaningful to us than when they come home for a visit or we spend time out in the world. It's incredible.

I lived a short time in my 20s with friends a few blocks from my parents. When I returned to live with my parents for a short period the entire dynamic changed. You leave the house so you don't go to your room, you visit. I started talking more and listening to music with them. I really appreciated my parents more. I hope my relationship with my children will be the same.

What do you mean by listening to music with them? Like, sitting around in the living room playing each other's favorite songs? I don't think I've ever done that with my parents, my kids, or anyone really.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#88

Post by polpenn »

zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

I agree with some of what you listed here but a few I think are critical to being human. What's the point of not having needs?

Desires are what makes us human. I have kids and family and friends that love me and them in return but I don't believe that makes me weak. In fact it is the opposite, they give me the strength, confidence, and motivation to power through life.

I supoose not having any needs and desires would be an asset for a hitman.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#89

Post by stackghost »

turzmo wrote: post #72
cuu508 wrote: post #61

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you are wealthy, it does not matter if they are expensive. If they have any impact, why not?

Sure, why not, it’s just not selling the idea that money buys happiness…

I mean if I had someone tailoring workouts to me, keeping me motivated to stick with a training regimen, and free time enough to get super fit and look great naked, I'd sure be happier.

Re: The Real Luxuries In Life

#90

Post by mck- »

mrec wrote: post #75
zkmon wrote: post #64

Time, quiet mind, slow mornings, rest without guilt, calm and boring days - are all the same thing - escape from being busy. This assumes being busy is common, which is actually not that common for an age of 60+. The real luxury, for any age, in general, is in not having dependencies and needs. The need to impress someone, the need to know every ugly news from around globe, the need to read everything and be knowledg…

Beautifully put, and definitely resonated with me as someone who entered mostly-contentedly-frugal retirement a few years back. One thing you didn't mention is the need to feel useful in some way; would you consider that a weakness too? Is it covered by "rest without guilt"? It's the bit I still have some trouble with.

Even just asking that question implies self-judgment and a need to “do the right thing”. Perhaps just be, and that is enough.
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