Live data from Hacker News

I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

sevanoland.com

41–50 of 113 posts

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#41

In a similar vein to this essay, I want to be a father so badly. I love being a woman, and am satisfied with the machinery I have been given. But having to be the incubator means I am saddle with the full brunt of the responsibility and expectation once the baby is born. I go from woman to mother. And with it comes judgement and duties, and goes freedom and care-free living. I want to be a father so I can raise a kid…

Yes, there are no solutions, only trade offs. I believe procreation is the highest impact a human can achieve. The result of 14 billion years of cosmic evolution, a thermodynamic miracle, the waking universe looking back on itself. Imagine what we can achieve when robots can do the laundry and dishes.

> Imagine what we can achieve when robots can do the laundry and dishes.

First, you mean like clothes washers and dishwashers, which already exist?

Second, my imagination of what we can achieve by procreation seems limited to "more humans". A trillion humans? A quadrillion humans? Enlighten me.

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#42
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The social mechanics to decouple woman permanently from reproduction are already in the making. Incubators and AI educators and people can have children with a company, the rest of the social problems (the social network harem effect) then go out the window. If you need to be a millionaire to have a conventional family, tradition is out, corporate cloning is in. The working alternative to religious fundamentalism.

While I support equality between biological sexes this had some ill effects. Giving birth is a woman job. Breastfeeding is a woman's job. Replacing breast milk with something else might be one of the causes of allergies and other ill effects (I'm guessing). To me it looks like women want to be compensated for the unpaid work of birthing children and taking care of them during their upbringing. No one fucking likes un…

> (I'm guessing)

Please don't do this. It's not helpful.

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#44
post #4

Here’s a thesis: the feminism of the 70s was a reaction specifically to the trends of the 60s. You can see this here in 2 places: the double standard and easy acceptance of male infidelity; and attitudes to divorce.

that double standard exists for a rather obvious reason -- male infidelity biologically cannot result into their cuckolded partner unwittingly raising someone else's child, while female infidelity often results into that to this very day. the state will, in fact, force the victim to provide for the child if he doesn't immediately realize the child isn't his.

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#45
post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> and expectation once the baby is born. This can be resolved by choosing a better man as a partner, one that is supportive and willing to be an equal partner. I understand finding someone that fulfills that as well as this person also being someone you're attracted to and compatible with socially is challenging, but I have seen relationships like this before so I know it's possible.

This cannot be resolved, you will not be an equal parent or even close to it the first few months, maybe even over a year. Breast feeding and various dependencies that develop (like that the kid wants to fall asleep at the breast) mean that most of the effort of parenting early falls on the mother. And then there's the fact of life that other stuff needs to be taken care of. Trash still needs to be taken out, groceri…

Very few men lactate, that is absolutely true. However, in our family it is the mother who has the drive and career ambitions, which is why the child has fallen asleep on the father instead, including when said child was but a few months old and the mother had a six-week business trip abroad.

I am sure children benefit from having several parents and role models, but I am not so sure that the shape of the genitals matter as much as whether the parent(s) is/are emotionally in tune with the child. The classical father of yore was simply not much of a parent. Today's can choose either.

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#47
post #35

There is an element of this essay that seems a bit short on the whole rights-and-responsibilities concept that should be highlighted. On the one hand, she's right that most people would want a wife and she gives a reasonable overview of why. That is why men generally want wives. The wives bring a lot to the table. If you do the same exercise for husbands, generally most people would also want husbands. The men also b…

> most people would want a wife

Are you sure about that? Maybe that was true in 1970ties or even yearly 2000, but today stats are pretty clear: most men do not want a wife!

Modern women have ethical troubles with making even simple sandwich. Tons of legal risks. 60% people today are overweight and on mental medication...

And fathers in families today are portraited as a homer simpson!

All the stuff wife brinks to the table, can be easily automated or outsourced at minimal cost!

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#48
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The social mechanics to decouple woman permanently from reproduction are already in the making. Incubators and AI educators and people can have children with a company, the rest of the social problems (the social network harem effect) then go out the window. If you need to be a millionaire to have a conventional family, tradition is out, corporate cloning is in. The working alternative to religious fundamentalism.

While I support equality between biological sexes this had some ill effects. Giving birth is a woman job. Breastfeeding is a woman's job. Replacing breast milk with something else might be one of the causes of allergies and other ill effects (I'm guessing). To me it looks like women want to be compensated for the unpaid work of birthing children and taking care of them during their upbringing. No one fucking likes un…

The fact that everything in life is compared to monetary value is the problem. There abstraction of paternalism to the state is another. For the state you are a number for your family and friends you have a name

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#49

In a similar vein to this essay, I want to be a father so badly. I love being a woman, and am satisfied with the machinery I have been given. But having to be the incubator means I am saddle with the full brunt of the responsibility and expectation once the baby is born. I go from woman to mother. And with it comes judgement and duties, and goes freedom and care-free living. I want to be a father so I can raise a kid…

I'm a house-husband to a wife with a womb who birthed our daughter. She's a software dev at a major software company. I did most of the diapers (little one is soon 7 and out of them for a while now), I do all the cooking. We had daycare partially to give breaks, but also so the little one would get good social exposure at a young age. I sadly can't drive due to a mix of anxiety and sedating medication for other health stuff, so she does before-school appointments most of the time (so she can go to the office after without me having to bus home), but for the most part I come along with appointments and I'm the one to go along on school trips and do the before and after school bus times. I do almost all the away playdates, with playdates at home being a joint endeavor.

Her carefree living has gone, but she can still go to work parties while I stay home and look after our daughter. She's never told me she experienced any overt judgement about being the sole breadwinner (there was a male manager who asked her after mat leave how her vacation was. I wonder how much he was involved in the early years of raising his kids‽). I will admit I do get more praise than I should be for doing my role, but really that praise is pretty empty, the bar is so low for men. The praise I do get mainly comes from women older than us. I've only once gotten a "Mr. Mom" comment and that was from an older American acquaintance.

She took about 4 months off if I recall correctly for mat leave after our daughter was born. She was going crazy at home.

She has some limitations for sure, she feels like she's as far as she'll get at least while our daughter is young, in terms of the promo-game. But she and the company are content with where she's at, though she is a bit envious at times about how some of her colleagues have been promoted to higher levels despite starting at the same time or after her.

She's very involved and a great mom.

I hope that didn't come off as a brag (I'm terrible at keeping the place clean and tidy, we hire help for that), my point is that you probably can have a high-impact career, be sexually attracted to men, and have a womb, and have a child. The freedom and care-free living will go regardless of one's gender, that's just part of being a good parent. There are plenty of men out there up for a majority parenting role.

For some context I'm around 40, and in my age group there's a lot more involved fathers (we see lone fathers with children at the park all the time, including with solely presenting-female children) and working mothers than when I was a child. Living in a major city in Ontario, Canada.

Re: I Want a Wife (1971) [pdf]

#50
post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The social mechanics to decouple woman permanently from reproduction are already in the making. Incubators and AI educators and people can have children with a company, the rest of the social problems (the social network harem effect) then go out the window. If you need to be a millionaire to have a conventional family, tradition is out, corporate cloning is in. The working alternative to religious fundamentalism.

While I support equality between biological sexes this had some ill effects. Giving birth is a woman job. Breastfeeding is a woman's job. Replacing breast milk with something else might be one of the causes of allergies and other ill effects (I'm guessing). To me it looks like women want to be compensated for the unpaid work of birthing children and taking care of them during their upbringing. No one fucking likes un…

Isn’t being a stay at home wife being compensated to do that work?

Your bills and mortgage are paid for, so is the food. You get to spend time with the kids. Sounds way less stressful than a high stakes job.

Post reply on HN