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Anger, Anxiety and Agency

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Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#111

Post by InexSquirrel »

zoltrix303 wrote: post #85
aenima4six2 wrote: post #77

I’m not the arbiter of emotions but being angry is valid and it doesn’t have to be directed. It’s not necessarily a vector. If I worked very hard to transplant a tree, and at no fault of anyone, it dies in the process, I can be angry I invested my time, money and energy into the failed effort. No one has the right to say that’s the wrong emotion to feel.

I'd argue feeling the emotion is perfectly fine, but it's how one expresses this emotion and how it impacts others that has larger implications.

Definitely agree with that.

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#112

Post by BeetleB »

InexSquirrel wrote: post #109
BeetleB wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I was taught that anger isn't an emotion. Yes, this is a school of thought I've seen in a few communication circles. It's not entirely accurate, but it's a useful exercise. They teach that anger is really a derived emotion, and is a result of a fundamental emotion, coupled with a narrative in your mind. The fundamental emotion is the real one, and the narrative in your mind maybe inaccurate. As a result, when you'r…

But what's the fundamental emotion then? What is anger derived from?

It can be derived from a bunch of them, depending on the situation.

If you call an Uber and it's 30 minutes late almost causing you to miss the flight, the fundamental emotions could be anxiety, fear, annoyance, distraught, dismayed, restless, nervous, etc.

Anger arises from the narrative your brain tells itself to explain those emotions. Such as: The Uber engineers didn't model rush hour traffic in this area well! How are they paid so much more than me?

Fundamental emotions don't require the existence of another person.

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#114

Post by akerl_ »

stronglikedan wrote: post #86
lazyasciiart wrote: post #69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is flat out not a nice feeling to experience uncertainty about things like "can I pay for someone to look after my child so I can go to work?" and "will I have food to eat this weekend?". For some people, "will AI mean my job goes away next year?" leads directly to those concrete uncertainties, and they understand that, and that is why they don't enjoy the uncertainty they are currently feeling. I'm guessing that…

Okay, but why get angry about it? Getting angry at things you can't do anything about is just silly, and if you can do something about it, get motivated instead of angry.

Are you asking why emotions aren't logical?

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#116

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

BeetleB wrote: post #101
asdfman123 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Actually, I find it's helpful to privately admit that you do negative things because they DO have some positive side effects. Everything is a tradeoff. Maybe anger helps draw attention to you. Maybe it garners some form of sympathy. Maybe people get out of your way when you're angry, giving you a certain kind of power. The reason why you want to stop being angry is because you want to accomplish things without all th…

> Maybe anger helps draw attention to you. Maybe it garners some form of sympathy. Maybe people get out of your way when you're angry, giving you a certain kind of power. I know it's much maligned here on HN, but you've articulated one of the key principle of NVC (Nonviolent Communication): Being able to articulate your needs, and map your emotions with your needs. The steps it recommends (not necessarily in this ord…

I was unaware that NVC (North Viet Cong? -Just kidding) was maligned, here. It’s not a structure that I was taught, but that list makes sense, to me.

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#117

Post by 121789 »

asdfman123 wrote: post #93
tptacek wrote: post #18

The record scratch for me here was the idea that people can choose to be unsure instead of angry. People hate being unsure. Neurochemistry prefers anger to uncertainty. People get angry about being unsure. We feel anger in large part as our brain's natural salve for the discomfort of uncertainty. The suggestion he's making sort of defines away human nature. (There's a lot of practical benefit to be gained from unders…

It's just not true that "neurochemistry prefers" one state over the other. Neurochemistry rewards you based on how you've trained yourself. We used to gain status by being good hunters and warriors, and now we're trying to get it through clever hacker news comments. Believe me, "human nature" is very flexible. People are just uncomfortable with uncertainty when they're not used to it. I think most of us have trained…

> Neurochemistry rewards you based on how you've trained yourself.

And how society has trained you. Most people understand the social impacts of appearing anxious and unsure. It's bad in pretty much every situation. I would say in most cases being angry will lead to better outcomes.

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#118

Post by mayhemducks »

In keeping with the spirit of this author's unsolicited advice, I will say that I am quite unsure about the author's awareness of the ways that "tech" companies are behaving.

I say "tech" in quotes because they aren't "tech" companies anymore. They surveil, exploit customers, and engage in anti-competitive activities to maintain their golden egg laying geese.

I have a whole lot of reasons to be... UNSURE about being in tech. VERY UNSURE.

Re: Anger, Anxiety and Agency

#119

Post by sinuhe69 »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #32

I was taught that anger isn't an emotion. It's a reaction -a defensive surge of adrenaline, binary thinking, and motivation to fight. It can feel empowering and energizing. We aren't just sitting here. We're gonna do something . The emotion is fear. Anger is just a reaction to fear. Basically, if we are angry, we are also scared; whether or not we want to admit it. It's a long topic, and one I know well (I agree with…

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