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Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#171

Post by saghm »

bittercynic wrote: post #148
xyzelement wrote: post #139

I think being smart universally trumps being less smart - but the definition of smart needs to be more encompassing. For example take the stereotype of a brilliant man or woman who neglected family for career, and are forever single and childless forever -- while someone less brilliant just "ends up" with a family and ultimately more fulfilled in life. Superficially this is an example of an average person being happi…

As a single and childless person, I don't like the implication that those are marks of a less fulfilling life. I know some people married with kids who seem very happy and fulfilled, and some profoundly miserable and trapped. I may be missing out on some good things, but I'm also avoiding some extreme misery, and generally do feel content and fulfilled.

Strongly agreed, and it's also worth it for those who think too narrowly along those lines that those aren't even the same axis. I used to be single and childless, and my happiness fluctuated a lot, but now I'm married and much more consistently happier. Neither my wife or I want kids, so if we had them, suddenly we'd be back to being less happy again. There are also plenty of single parents, and I'm sure many of them are happy and fulfilled without needing a partner.

Plus, kids who grow up with parents who are unhappy and would prefer to be childless are probably a lot more likely to grow up into unhappy adults.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#174

Post by MajorTakeaway »

PaulRobinson wrote: post #121
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

My dad once told me that being smart was a curse in some ways, but he framed it as having a World view that few others had. I think however your take on it is closer: when you're smart, you're told you're smart (both as a positive and as a negative - I was bullied for it), it just becomes part of your self dialogue and identity and it gets in the way. It's taken years of therapy for me to get to the point where I rea…

Having great conversations with Uber drivers, coworkers, and online folks (nothing can compare with real life interactions due to a few concussions), and walking a nature trail every so often has done many wonders for my mental health where I thought I was unrecoverable.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#175

Post by addag »

snapplebobapple wrote: post #167

I think saying the reason we are unhappy is because the biggest questions are poorly defined misses that happiness was never the goal for why consciousness is here.It's pretty clear to me that consciousness exists for the biology and not the other way around (I submit as evidence how much suffering your biological portion will let you experience before it dies, it's way more than your consciousness would ever authori…

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#177

Post by Brian_K_White »

I don't think smart people ever ask this question.

It's an invalid question attempting to correlate unrelated dimensions. One would hope that's even the point the article goes on to make, I didn't read it.

The value of being smart, similar to the value of knowing the truth, is not in how happy it makes you.

There might be a coincidental inverse correlation that makes the two things seem related, but the two things are never the less, unrelated in any way that matters.

Your unhappiness isn't caused by your capacity to percieve or understand some bad thing, it's caused by the bad thing, and ignorance is no way to resolve it to get happiness.

The question isn't even interesting to ponder like some mystery, except for a few minutes one time one day as a young person.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#178

Post by [deleted] »

annzabelle wrote: post #107
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), an…

[deleted]

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#179

Post by SamPatt »

IshKebab wrote: post #162
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

I think it's pretty frustrating being an outlier in any dimension. Your specific needs are always ignored. Being smart is no different. At least when I was in school they were always like "eh he'll do fine, let's concentrate on the borderline dunces". When you leave school you can find your level a lot easier - go to a university and get a job where other people are at the same skill level. At least that's what made…

That's one of the only real downsides of apparent intelligence that I've seen: people in positions which exist to be supportive tend to assume you don't actually need their help.

Which, comparatively, might be true. But just because someone else needs more help doesn't mean it wouldn't be welcome.

Parents, teachers, advisors, supervisors, they just let you figure it out because they know you can, and they need to focus on those who can't. I had a career coach once tell me I didn't need to worry about finding a job, smart people always find work.

If you've never needed to ask for help before, this can really cause problems when you finally do.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#180

Post by reenorap »

RickJWagner wrote: post #19

Lots of reasons, I suspect. Smart people are smarter than stupid people, but not that much smarter. They are subject to thinking they’ve got it all figured out, when really they don’t. Warren Buffett spoke several times about this, saying that he’d much rather deal with a person of middling IQ and some humility rather than a person with very high IQ but not as smart as they think. Then there are other attributes like…

> Smart people are smarter than stupid people, but not that much smarter.

This is patently untrue. My middle school kid finished Calculus 1/2 last year and got a 5 on AP without breaking a sweat. He’s taking college calculus this year and we need to figure out what math he’s going to do next year already. He has friends who are younger and even more advanced.

There are genius level kids that are at another plane of intellectual existence. It’s quite something to see.

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