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Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

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Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#101

Post by xivzgrev »

dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

how did you make this transition?

i still, deep down, identify as being "smart". i don't like being wrong, and it's my go-to ego lick at work, "well bad thing x may have happened, but at least I'm still valued for being smart". it was my label in high school that i've never quite shed.

obviously now i have so many more facets - father, husband, leader, writer/reader. Smartness is just raw horsepower, it's what you do with it that matters. And there's lots of kinds of "smarts". As an example, my wife wasn't the traditional "book smart" but she's emotionally & street smart - knows how to get things done, how to think on her feet, etc.

but still despite that increased richness from life experience, I'm still "smart" and hold on to it

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#102

Post by paulpauper »

irishcoffee wrote: post #94
paulpauper wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is hard to abstain from news completely. The mainstream media is becoming increasingly like social media, feeding on shared sentiment and vague feelings of outrage.

It really isn’t. I haven’t watched the news on tv in probably 20 years, I haven’t had any social media accounts ever, and at this point I use the internet as part of my day job, to do my job. It is absolutely amazing to be so disconnected and I encourage everyone to try it. People at work tell me about interesting things happening in the world, and my role and my spouses role at her job have the (mis) fortune of keep…

Just visiting this site means you're inundated with a lot of news about AI or tech companies, and politics pertaining to those matters. It's hard to remove politics from issues. I think only the most niche of communities avoid politics completely.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#103

Post by OroPla »

paulpauper wrote: post #68
boznz wrote: post #66

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I stopped viewing all news media companies five years ago. Real news will get to you pretty quickly by other means such as HN which I still frequent a couple of hours a week. Modern news is re-hashing even the trivial in the worst possible way and inviting the extreme idiots on both sides to fight it out in the comment section, I can honestly say I am missing nothing and still find myself informed and happier.

It is hard to abstain from news completely. The mainstream media is becoming increasingly like social media, feeding on shared sentiment and vague feelings of outrage.

Maybe it's like a drug? I never read/watched news in my entire life and find it pretty easy. It's impossible to completely shield yourself from getting the news at all, which is a bit unfortunate. I feel I would lead a happier life if I didn't get to know who the president of the USA was, for example. It's completely meaningless knowledge anyway. But for some reason most people are really interested and will tell you, even if you never ask.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#104

Post by OroPla »

fn-mote wrote: post #100

I’m interested in a different question: are powerful people happier? Any references?

Can happiness even be measured? Do we have a unit for happiness? I think that's a big "no" to both questions, so the entire topic is a bit strange. Might as well ask which type of people are luckier.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#106

Post by christophilus »

xivzgrev wrote: post #101
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

how did you make this transition? i still, deep down, identify as being "smart". i don't like being wrong, and it's my go-to ego lick at work, "well bad thing x may have happened, but at least I'm still valued for being smart". it was my label in high school that i've never quite shed. obviously now i have so many more facets - father, husband, leader, writer/reader. Smartness is just raw horsepower, it's what you do…

For me, I realized how insufferable my smart friends were, and I looked at people who I admired and whose company I enjoyed, and I realized humility was a key trait among the people I liked best. I’m still insufferable, though, but hopefully less than before!

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#107

Post by annzabelle »

dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), and I think it made me miserable.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#108

Post by willismichael »

Quarrelsome wrote: post #88
darth_avocado wrote: post #23

Im not smart (maybe average), but a lot of my unhappiness starts from just having access to information. And then more I process the information, the more unhappy I become. Smarter people than me probably have more information and are able to process it faster, uncovering effects that are not readily perceived by normal folks like myself.

pretty sure if you're commenting on here then you're way above average. It's not a compliment, its just that you're misunderstanding how low the bar is.

> It's not a compliment

Thanks, you had me feeling all smug and then you had to add that part.

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#109

Post by nico »

annzabelle wrote: post #107
dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

I got labeled "smart but lazy" at a pretty young age (high test scores, didn't do any homework), and I let that label stick with me for far too long. I took some pride in how I could get the top score in a class without studying, and didn't realize that studying itself was a useful skill. I let this whole mindset drag me down through undergrad (especially once I hit the point where I really ought to have studied), an…

Sometimes accountability is not enough. Medication and therapy might help, as it can be the case with ADHD. Many people with it fit the pattern of “smart but lazy”

Re: Why aren't smart people happier? (2022)

#110

Post by aaron695 »

dnlosx wrote: post #63

I will speak from my experience. When I was younger, I considered myself very smart, and I was pretty unhappy. As I grew, I met people much smarter than me; I stopped seeing myself as "the smart" one, and now I am pretty happy. It's not that I became happier because I became less smart; I became happier when I stopped thinking my value was based on my intelligence, so I stopped trying to be recognized by my intellect…

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