Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children • Hacker News Board

Re: Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children

#11

Post by kelseyfrog » Wed, Aug 19, 2026, 2:20 PM UTC

Jitte98 wrote: post #9

If it comes to the point you have to lay hands on them, you're already lost the battle. Time outs, loss of privileges, a guilt trip here and there are more effective if you're consistent. Says who? I'm a Behavioral Programmer, clinically trained in the use of Behavior Modification/Management to address targeted inappropriate behaviors. I've seen the effect physical techniques have versus psychological techniques firs…

The memories of pain last forever. Words are only sounds that last an instant.

Re: Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children

#12

Post by iamthemonster » Thu, Aug 20, 2026, 1:01 AM UTC

andrewstuart wrote: post #10

I raised my child with a zero punishment policy. No punishment, ever, of any sort.

Yeah I'm on a similar path myself. Instead of punishment, I connect with my kids first and then make them reflect on their behaviour and what impact it had.

It is very inefficient in the short term! It takes a lot of time and effort in the moment.

But now that mine are 10 and 12, parenting is not much work at all because they've developed skills over the long term that allows them to reflect on their behaviour. As parents we also model good apologies too.

I'm not ideologically opposed to punishment entirely, but it has never really had a place. The closest was when a child stayed out past their curfew and the natural consequence was that it showed they weren't ready for managing their time and we shortened their curfew.

But I do know other parents whose kids genuinely respond much better to very simple and firm commands. A lot of kids would just be confused and frustrated by our family's method of having to reflect on our behaviour verbally so often.

Re: Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children

#13

Post by Doxin » Thu, Aug 20, 2026, 10:03 AM UTC

kelseyfrog wrote: post #11

Jitte98 wrote: post #9

If it comes to the point you have to lay hands on them, you're already lost the battle. Time outs, loss of privileges, a guilt trip here and there are more effective if you're consistent. Says who? I'm a Behavioral Programmer, clinically trained in the use of Behavior Modification/Management to address targeted inappropriate behaviors. I've seen the effect physical techniques have versus psychological techniques firs…

The memories of pain last forever. Words are only sounds that last an instant.

As the famous idiom goes, sticks and stones may break my bones but words can leave permanent psychological scars that may never heal.

Physical violence is definitely going to leave lasting effects, but words can still do the same.

Re: Effects of Corporal Punishment on Children

#14

Post by andrewstuart » Thu, Aug 20, 2026, 11:17 AM UTC

iamthemonster wrote: post #12

andrewstuart wrote: post #10

I raised my child with a zero punishment policy. No punishment, ever, of any sort.

Yeah I'm on a similar path myself. Instead of punishment, I connect with my kids first and then make them reflect on their behaviour and what impact it had. It is very inefficient in the short term! It takes a lot of time and effort in the moment. But now that mine are 10 and 12, parenting is not much work at all because they've developed skills over the long term that allows them to reflect on their behaviour. As pa…

>> make them reflect on their behaviour and what impact it had.

I would not do that. I’d just assume that if they behave in unexpected ways then that means I failed to explain the expectations of myself/society.