191–200 of 802 posts
This is something that should be self evident to any parent, no need to write or read a piece to establish that truism.
Time to close the laptop and spend time with the kids...
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> The real heroes are the ones ambitiously raising the next generation while changing the world right now. so pedagogy and psychology researchers? giving that having biological children is the worst ecological offense someone can do in an ever increasing worldwide population? [0] how about adopting and getting into voluntary programs or even do pro-social things with your money? giving birth on the current societal s…
giving that having biological children is the worst ecological offense someone can do in an ever increasing worldwide population? Have you ever heard of fracking? Or mining Gold using mercury?
like there isn't a correlation on more resources being used or explored in a bigger population?
I have a good friend who has a special needs kid and we've discussed his struggles at length - suffice it to say that it takes an order of magnitude more time and attention than what's described here. The thing is, you of course don't get tipped off that you've been selected for that particular curse (and yes, I'd say it's a curse. It's not some inspiring after-school special thing, it's unfair as f*k to all involved…
The gamble is basically only a gamble if you wait longer. The graph for pre-35 parents is practically nonexistent. I could live with the 2% chance at 42, but not with the 15% at 45. Where the chance is of random abnormalities. Who knows what exciting variant you get.
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I would also add that, at least in my experience, those who are professionally ambitious and maximizing professional success, while being highly confident they are also succeeding at home, often have an inaccurate view of their home life. It's not until the kids are grown and openly fighting their demons that they realize the bargain that they made. It's that old adage of, anyone who thinks they're a great parent, pr…
There’s a pretty interesting self-help book that is designed to help couples share domestic and family work equally; I thought it was an interesting read. It makes exactly the same point about rockstar husbands that contribute less than their spouses. https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-book The central idea is a set of 100 cards representing various tasks that are necessary for running a household, that you split up be…
But the idea of having physical cards that you split up and assign does sound really helpful. I might look into that. I would say in my experience breaking out household chores even amongst roommates, some tasks that seem even aren't remotely so once you get into it (I have been the advantaged and disadvantaged party in different apartments) and some are simply different such that some are trivial for one person and not so for another person. But that's a part of dealing the cards, even when splitting evenly. (now I'm wondering if I can see where people are getting into arguments.... ^_^')
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Isn’t it unhealthy to skip both breakfast and lunch? How are you getting the energy to do stuff without eating?
As a fun project, you should look up the history of eating schedules. They vary wildly between different cultures. Some have a single large meal at the start of the day, others have 5 smaller meals spread through, and everything in between. There is no standard even if it feels like it simply because that is how we are raised. It is but social convention.
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There’s a pretty interesting self-help book that is designed to help couples share domestic and family work equally; I thought it was an interesting read. It makes exactly the same point about rockstar husbands that contribute less than their spouses. https://www.fairplaylife.com/the-book The central idea is a set of 100 cards representing various tasks that are necessary for running a household, that you split up be…
> The online discourse around this book can be kinda vitriolic (lots of examples of it starting arguments) Yeah, no wonder given that it starts with an unrealistic view that the average man is a lazy slob that sits around playing video games while his wife has to handle everything with children and the household. You keep waiting for her to mention that anything else might be possible throughout the book, but that ne…
The way that I’ve tried to handle this is to focus on equalizing “total time per week spent on managing cards”, which requires time-tracking but is more fair, and also negotiating a modified set of cards.
The book kinda suggests both of those but I think that in practice most people don’t implement them.
And, as you said, the tone of the book can be off-putting at times. I still feel like it’s the best available resource for this problem.
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I always find it funny the genetics argument or the "I'm a dopamine addict!" just how they are framed with fairly modern scientific language. Personally, legacy is but another grasping of the ego. It is meaningless and is most used as a justification to be selfish. I think kids are beyond that, it isn't something that is rationalized, it is just a means of life. And that is cool. I'm not pro or anti natalism, it all…
Within my world view, if you cannot create a genetic legacy, you have failed at a key aspect of life.
I felt very conflicted about this topic when I was young and working for Apple. I decided the Valley commute and rat race wasn’t very family conducive so I took a remote job and moved a few states over and it’s been great. I’ve been fully remote for 12+ years now, and I’ve had a very successful career in engineering and engineering leadership. I also have eight kids that I get to spend a ton of time with. There’s a r…
8 kids! Well if anyone wants to ask for parenting advice, they can go to you as you are a lone human data set.
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> The real heroes are the ones ambitiously raising the next generation while changing the world right now. so pedagogy and psychology researchers? giving that having biological children is the worst ecological offense someone can do in an ever increasing worldwide population? [0] how about adopting and getting into voluntary programs or even do pro-social things with your money? giving birth on the current societal s…
giving that having biological children is the worst ecological offense someone can do in an ever increasing worldwide population? Have you ever heard of fracking? Or mining Gold using mercury?
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I find it funny that I spent my 20s and 30s doing everything in my power to avoid having kids and at this stage in my life I’m doing everything to have kids. I do feel that 30 year old me would definitely be in better shape to chase kids around.
I was 41 when my daughter was born. I think it’s a great reason to stay for, strong and healthy. My goal is to keep up with her mountain biking, snowboarding and hiking for as long as I can. Hopefully I’ll be on the game well in my 60s and her 20s
I think having kids late can help people stay young longer, if you let it.