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I Don't Understand

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Re: I Don't Understand

#61

Post by vosper »

DigitalSea wrote: post #13

I can see why there seems to be a stigma attached to admitting you don't understand something, especially if you've just started at a new place and you want to make a good impression and reassure them they made the right choice hiring you. I've been guilty too many times of not speaking up when I don't understand something and it comes back to bite you. It makes you look more incompetent being ignorant and not speaki…

Whilst it's important to admit that you don't understand, senior people can use "I don't understand" as a way to ensure that everybody understands.

If you're senior and you say that you don't understand then you're opening the gate for everyone to discuss the issue in more detail; no junior workmates will feel dumb - even the senior guy doesn't understand it!

And chances are that the deeper discussion will unearth something I didn't fuly appreciate, even if I wouldn't have called "I don't understand" for other people's benefit.

Re: I Don't Understand

#63

Post by leemor13 »

Creating a culture where asking questions and identifying when one doesn't understand something is what we strive for, but there still seems to be a stigmatism when one expresses their confusion.

How do we create an environment where one doesn't feel it's wrong to ask for clarification without being subject to "looking stupid"?

Re: I Don't Understand

#65

Post by hayksaakian »

With all the emphasis on confidence in modern culture, its dishonest to say you should in general admit you don't understand something.

In a negotiation for example, if you admit you dont understand something, the other party can use that factor to take advantage of you.

It also hurts your credibility in front of a wider audience when giving a speech for example.

While I do think being humble should be respected, modern culture will look down on those who admit they don't understand.

Re: I Don't Understand

#66

Post by kstenerud »

brandall10 wrote: post #35
kstenerud wrote: post #7

I first noticed this effect in college, when the prof would be talking about something that didn't make sense to me. If I remained silent, he'd never explain (of course) and I'd remain ignorant. However, whenever I asked him, everyone would start furiously writing down his explanation in their notes. So I got into the habit of saying "I don't understand". Inevitably, there would be quite a number of other people who…

Did you usually just say "I don't understand"... or was it more like "I get how a works with b when c occurs. But you lost me when you were talking about how it happens over z, I don't get the distinction, could you go into that?" It's not about plain ignorance, but conscious incompetence. That can be a great deal of work to attain in a given domain, getting to that "I know what I don't know" place so you can actuall…

It was more like the latter. I don't play those sorts of games.

Re: I Don't Understand

#67

Post by epochwolf »

Evbn wrote: post #25
babarock wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't disagree with you but there's a fine limit between asking questions and asking to be hand held. And it also works the other way around: I cannot stand when a member of the team is too afraid/shy/... to say "I don't understand". (I'm not blaming the team mate as much as the work environment. Nevertheless it's still a very real problem). When I get out of a meeting with coworkers and they said they understood (…

What is wrong with hand holding? If someone never outgrows it, they may meet a lower salary for being inefficient. If someone succeeds without it, it doesn't happen. If someone needs it and doesn't get it, we spend twice as long cleaning up mistakes. In any case, handholding itself is never the problem, and avoiding it just masks more serious problems while regarding communication and relationship building. The offic…

The office is not the place for babysitting children that have never grown up.

Re: I Don't Understand

#68

Post by mleonhard »

chernevik wrote: post #60

I am but an egg. Very new as a developer, not particularly good. The smartest programmer in my workspace frequently looks for me when he's trying to solve something hard. There are a dozen people around us, at least, who are better able to _solve_ whatever problem he's working on. But they don't ask as many questions. I ask a lot of questions. Midway through explaining stuff he's solved his problem. And meanwhile I'v…

Where do you work?

Re: I Don't Understand

#69

Post by vishalsankhla »

Well said, plus this gives the person a chance to think through more of their idea and explain it in more detail. Lot of times developers simply "assume" that other people get it, while that may not be the case.

Re: I Don't Understand

#70

Post by gordaco »

Bockit wrote: post #37

I agree very strongly with the sentiment of the article, and would like to add that I think the flipped side of the "I don't understand" is just as important. I.e., You're trying to explain something and someone doesn't understand, you should be patient with the person. I don't think it's always (or even greater than 50%) the case, but enough times after finding out what the lynchpin of understanding was there are wa…

And sometimes, while searching for a better explanation, you gain a little extra insight on the topic.
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