headphones block nature
take off and take in the stream
living room and screens
Hello, me. It's been a while
71–80 of 219 posts
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#72It’s very difficult to intentionally find time to be bored. It’s sort of the opposite of an activity, and the brain hates it. One passable option is to take a 20 minute walk with no stimulus beyond the scenery. Journaling regularly. Meditation provides a similar experience but feels like a different lane. For me I do find a similar experience to the OP. It’s easy to feel yourself going a little crazy getting sucked a…
> It’s sort of the opposite of an activity, and the brain hates it. While this is true, I'd word it differently: It's sort of the opposite of an activity, and we've conditioned our brains to hate it. Boredom used to be absolutely normal in our society for pretty much ever, and the urge to do something about it when it occurred was a lot weaker than it is now.
I'm not convinced boredom was normal per se - people find stuff to do. It's just that the nature of stuff has changed, as has the availability. 20 years ago it was browsing the internet for hours. Before that it was watching TV. Before that there was Other Stuff, like going exploring with a friend (for me). But the 2000s changed things, people got mp3 players and an infinite library of music, smartphones and an infinite amount of activities to do on them at any point of day, internet on the go instead of going to The Space With The Computer, streaming / binging programs instead of having a fixed moment in the day, looking up what's on tonight in the TV guide, or renting a film as a weekend activity.
It's all more instant and always available. I mean books were too (at some point people were complaining about kids these days always reading), but it's different.
Am I worried? A little, because at the same time I keep reminding myself that every generation was worried about what people are up to this time. In 20 years people will probably be nostalgic for today in some way.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#73Yea this is a good one but it can be so hard. Seems obvious that constant information streaming outside of silencing your own thoughts also makes the moments where you do have to sit in silence lower quality. I recently listened to the Hammock Driven Development talk ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f84n5oFoZBc ) and it raises the very interesting point that it's not really the concious mind that makes big breakthro…
The other thing is that (speaking as a software developer) most work is not hard.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#74Earlier quoted context omitted.
> It’s sort of the opposite of an activity, and the brain hates it. While this is true, I'd word it differently: It's sort of the opposite of an activity, and we've conditioned our brains to hate it. Boredom used to be absolutely normal in our society for pretty much ever, and the urge to do something about it when it occurred was a lot weaker than it is now.
I disagree. I remember when I was a kid and didn't have access to smartphones (didn't exist) or other sources of constant entertainment. My days were basically just kindergarten and dicking around with other kids. But I remember I absolutely dreaded going to the doctor's office, taking a long distance train, or any other kind of "activity" that involved long periods of waiting around. I would find it extremely boring…
I wouldn't necessarily draw any conclusions about our attitudes around this as children. I was exactly the same as you: I hated waiting for anything. Even waiting a few minutes in a grocery store checkout line with one of my parents was absolute torture.
As an adult, it's just not the same. Children's brains are not fully developed, and their desire for stimulus seems very different than an adult's. I think the closest I've come to experiencing this as an adult is in the early '00s. I didn't get my first smartphone until I was nearly 30. I suppose back then I didn't love waiting or being bored, but it wasn't an awful, terrible thing that I just had to fix all the time.
Nowadays I try to avoid filling the quiet times with my phone or some other stimulus. If I'm doing dishes or cleaning up around the house, I let it be quiet, and let my mind wander. If I'm on a train or a bus, I'll do my best to put away my phone and stare out the window, and get lost in my thoughts. If I'm in a waiting room at a doctor's office, I'll people-watch, or just close my eyes and think. It's really nice.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#75It's always seemed strange to me that it's so common for people to feel the need to have continuous ... radio/podcasts/tv. It turns out there is a fair amount of research done on this, look into: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continuous_partial_attention
That’s how Von Neumann did his thang, with a tv blaring in the background
The more things change the more they stay the same I suppose
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#76I need media to cope with stressful situations - office politics and other difficult situations at work that seem more than I can manage. Audiobooks help me to get my mind off the things that gnaw at me and make it difficult to sleep.
They also make boring work bearable. Terry Pratchett is a huge favorite :-)
I was unemployed for about half a year recently and I got a much less stressful job after that. It's strange because I felt and still feel humiliated about it all and yet actual life has become much better. My behavior at home improved - as noted by my wife. I've got some DIY projects done at home which were pointless (could have paid for them) but very satisfying.
My kid is delightful and although nothing has changed I realised that I am living through one of the golden periods in life - where one doesn't think too much about it but the important things are really good. Stressful work wasn't allowing me to see it and I was numbing life out to try to cope. There have been some very very un-golden times in the past and it is unfortunate not to be able to enjoy the good when it is there.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#77I find it odd that others need music or talking to focus. most of the time I prefer silence.
But silence is a luxury; right now I have the window open to try and cool the house down a bit so car noises, there's people doing stuff downstairs, etc.
But I also get restless when it's too quiet. Everyone has their own preferences, but ultimately I think the key point is whether you have control. Like, I hate chaotic spaces, but love chaotic music sometimes.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#78Sometimes I put my headphones on, just to forget to also put music on. Hours later I realize that it helped me focus anyhow.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#79ITT: a lot of undiagnosed ADHD
Not necessarily, everyone's got their own preferences and sensitivities, it's just how brains work and how it works differently for everyone.
It's too simplistic to just apply a label like ADHD to people. Preferring distraction or silence is only a small part of the diagnostic criteria, and modern diagnostics are more about "how well do you function / how much / what help do you need" than applying a label.
Re: Hello, me. It's been a while
#80> Recently, as I reached for the play button out of habit, I stopped. I thought: what if I just do this chore in silence today?
It seems most people today have headphones on all the time. I don't understand it. I'm not sure, but it would seem people hate their own voice?
I just love silence.
I can't work in anything but complete silence. In open spaces I wear earplugs. (If I'm not wearing earplugs it means I'm not doing much of anything ;-) That's one of the main benefits of remote work: at my home there is complete silence most of the time.
I need silence for many other activities too. Cooking, reading (of course), even driving.
In fact, I think my problem is the opposite: I just can't do two things at once. If I'm listening to something, then I can't be doing anything else.