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I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

news.ycombinator.com

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Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#52

Post by matznerd »

Depression is a hard feeling to cope with, in the moment it seems like it will never go away, but the truth is, that it always does. One of the things that helps me in the short-term whenever I get down as an entrepreneur is watching videos of successful entrepreneurs because you see that even they have their dark days. Elon Musk, for example, was at his wit's end, almost bankrupt from tesla and space x and could not get further investment and had to literally borrow money from friends to pay his rent. http://www.bloomberg.com/video/73460184-elon-musk-profiled-b... I also like watching ted videos on happiness http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.h... (that one has a good point about how nearly everything is based on comparisons and nothing effects us beyond 3 months). In terms of daily inspiration, definitely check mixergy, that will always inspire you as well. http://mixergy.com/homepage/

I have to run out now, but I have a lot more to tell you. Exercise is key, whenever I am in a bad mood I realize that it has been too long since I've exercised. Your body will actually generate new neurons while you are exercising and your brain will release endorphins and other neurotransmitters that increase mood. I know it seems hard to get there if you haven't been in a while, but for a longterm goal and short term boosts of energy, definitely do it. You can try to start with a yoga class or something like that, because at the end of the day yoga is mostly meditation and focus on breath. Meditating is also extremely important in welfare for everyone, especially entrepreneurs and founders. The daily stress of running a startup can not only get you down, but also lead to feeling lost.

I don't know what drugs you are on, but I can recommend some supplements and nootropics that will definitely elevate mood. Try tyrosine.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#53

Post by matznerd »

matznerd wrote: post #52

Depression is a hard feeling to cope with, in the moment it seems like it will never go away, but the truth is, that it always does. One of the things that helps me in the short-term whenever I get down as an entrepreneur is watching videos of successful entrepreneurs because you see that even they have their dark days. Elon Musk, for example, was at his wit's end, almost bankrupt from tesla and space x and could not…

I am running out the door with my family, but I will try and post more later, sorry if there are any grammatical errors in there as well...

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#54

Post by czbond »

X4 wrote: post #49
X4 wrote: post #47

I only feel good when my blood pressure is extremly high compared to a normal person. How is your blood pressure when you're happy compared to when you're sad?? I'm really curious if it has an effect on the mood. Because it definately has a dramatic effect on my mood. (It's around >170sys/120dia and higher for me when feeling good) Reference: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0167876012...

Most warmly recommended, please do sports or bodybuilding. It helps overcoming the bad feelings!!

  This is what gets me through. Heavy weights in the gym clears the mind. Sports gives the adrenaline rush.

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#57

Post by z0mbak »

Travel. Leave your smartphone and laptop at home. Take your friend with you and go. There is a lot of good places on Earth and this is important to choose the right one to visit, so choose wisely. Don't go to safari or similar shitty entrtnmnt for rich guys. Don't buy a tour with all the trash included. Move on your own. Stay in the plain hotels. Taste the local food. Visit the monasteries and museums. Talk to people around You. Try to find something new. Something, You never experienced before. Excuse my poor lng please.

P.S. Maybe this will be a good opportunity for You to quit taking meds You mentioned?

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#58

Post by InclinedPlane »

matznerd wrote: post #52

Depression is a hard feeling to cope with, in the moment it seems like it will never go away, but the truth is, that it always does. One of the things that helps me in the short-term whenever I get down as an entrepreneur is watching videos of successful entrepreneurs because you see that even they have their dark days. Elon Musk, for example, was at his wit's end, almost bankrupt from tesla and space x and could not…

Not everyone's depression is the same. For some people depression is episodic and goes away. For others, a great many others, severe depression is a constant companion. Every minute of every day of every year of your life, and it's the episodes of not being depressed which are temporary and go away.

That said, exercise has been shown to be helpful for depression of every sort (generally at least as effective as drugs, on average).

Re: I am depressed and I need someone to talk to

#59

Post by ceautery »

I occasionally suffer from depression, usually in the winter with low light levels, and usually not debilitating. Some people are easier to talk to about this than others, and it's difficult for me to be honest about how I feel with people I work with, or casual acquaintances... and I think that's more of a problem than being "down" for a day or two.

It's sad that there is a need to create a fake identity just to openly talk about a condition you have no control over. In this century, it should be as easy to talk about depression as talking about how you broke your arm, but it's not. And no one wants to be stigmatized, or be afraid of secret HR information passed around about you being crazy and unhireable.

Fortunately, you are a hacker, and think differently than the average guy. Maybe you could benefit from one of the things that helps me: split your mind in two... metaphorically. "This situation doesn't call for the amount of rage I feel," is something I say to myself a lot when I should feel disapproval over something, but instead am completely incensed. If I can see intellectually that what I'm feeling is out of scale, then I have something to hold onto while my emotions run their course.

Another thing that helps pragmatically, rather than emotionally, is shutting my damned mouth when I see that I'm feeling "off". The things I want to say are hurtful, and will close doors, burn bridges, and make enemies of just about everyone I know, including my wife and children. So I think it, but I don't say it. And I try to do something as a ballast on top of being quiet, like holding my wife's hand, or if I'm not at home, just getting up and walking around. "Um, yeah, I need to go clear my head, and see if that helps with problem X when I get back."

Anyway, good luck. If the meds don't help, tell your doctor. Or find a new one. Don't pussyfoot around with doctors when your brain is at stake. "I need something that works, either you can find it for me, or I can find someone else to try. Let's go, chop chop!!"

Take care, man, and know that there are other people suffering similarly, struggling to make it. We are all your brothers, and want nothing more than for you to beat this (or manage it, at least) and have a successful life.

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