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Saying No
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Re: Saying No
#72I thought this article was supposed to be about negotiating, but this person doesn't want to listen to or negotiate with anyone. The closest they came to negotiation was when they were doing yoga alone in one room and "decided" to allow a dozen other people in a different room to turn their A/C on. > On these days, I've told them to turn the AC off until we're done. One day, I was the only one practicing and I had to…
Yes the whole thing seems literally childish (like a 6 year old perhaps) and they could have grabbed a coffee and have both sides explain their point of view and come up with a solution. And the solution space here is huge.
Upvote for "pyrrhic victory" that is perfectly what this is.
Re: Saying No
#73>>> Peter Block's quote is a great reminder that between two adults, saying 'No' is always an option and not something to feel weird or anxious about. So next time you're being ask to do something, pause, and consider saying 'No' more than you normally would. The other party should expect this. And you both should be prepared to negotiate.
Not negotiating is also an option, and not something to feel weird or anxious about.
Worst case scenario. Against my best instincts, I opened my door to a salesman. He wanted to sell me new Internet service. I said No. He asked why. I thanked him for his time and closed the door. He's a trained hustler, and I'm a terrible negotiator. Nothing good would ever come of negotiating with him. I can make a perfectly good estimate of the probability of us finding a mutually acceptable middle ground... zero.
People will constantly ask you for things that are not in your best interest at all. They're betting on a chance that you will feel obligated to give them something. They can learn that sometimes people will say No without giving a satisfactory reason. They have probably already learned it.
Re: Saying No
#74I thought this article was supposed to be about negotiating, but this person doesn't want to listen to or negotiate with anyone. The closest they came to negotiation was when they were doing yoga alone in one room and "decided" to allow a dozen other people in a different room to turn their A/C on. > On these days, I've told them to turn the AC off until we're done. One day, I was the only one practicing and I had to…
It is a strange post.
He missed the opportunity to work with the other side to find a mutually beneficial solution.
Now they have no studio and the other side have their aircon exactly how they like it.
This should be a lesson in cutting off your nose despite your face.
Re: Saying No
#75I actually liked the story, despite some valid negative comments here.
"AC on" crowd usually have no consideration for anyone and rarely understands that while air flow matters, the temperature doesn't have to be freezing.
"Don't do it" note have as much validity as "Nah, I will" reaction. The fact that conversation happened is a win, and it's fine, that the problem wasn't solved in the best possible way, it isn't lingering anymore, so that's a better outcome that nothing.
Re: Saying No
#76Earlier quoted context omitted.
To not be a pushover. The alternative is also not getting what they want: a cold yoga space. So this is probably the better outcome.
What it seems they wanted was hot yoga space. With 2:30 hours of rent... When every single other user of space wanted slightly cold or reasonably air conditioned space. Maybe for good reasons like temperature raising during the day and thus wanting to buffer it more.
Yeah I think comments should be restricted to people who have lived in regular 37C/100F plus days. That will be most of us soon enough. Sure keep your AC off to mid morning lol!
Re: Saying No
#77I thought this article was supposed to be about negotiating, but this person doesn't want to listen to or negotiate with anyone. The closest they came to negotiation was when they were doing yoga alone in one room and "decided" to allow a dozen other people in a different room to turn their A/C on. > On these days, I've told them to turn the AC off until we're done. One day, I was the only one practicing and I had to…
It is a strange post. He missed the opportunity to work with the other side to find a mutually beneficial solution. Now they have no studio and the other side have their aircon exactly how they like it. This should be a lesson in cutting off your nose despite your face.
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Re: Saying No
#78Find a temperature that both sides can accept. Also, the dozen other people affected by the air conditioning? Do they pay rent too?
This feels like a story from someone who just crossed the threshold into adulthood and thinks that makes him the "dad" now.
Re: Saying No
#79Apparently, the French typically start with "no" because it leaves them room to say "yes" later, which is harder to go back on. > “Answering ‘non’ gives you the option to say ‘oui’ [yes] later; [it’s] the opposite when you say ‘oui’, you can no longer say ‘non’! https://www.bbc.co.uk/travel/article/20190804-why-the-french...
Declaring the probability works too and is maybe more cross-culture compatible (very important!) as some people may take no as no.
E.g. "I am keen, and will likely do that I just need a day to think/research/decide".
Re: Saying No
#80Sounds like you're being highly unreasonable and childish to me