Don't use your phone while you poop • Hacker News Board

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#151

Post by pessimizer » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:23 PM UTC

Don't use your phone while you poop if you're a phone addict like this person and their demographic, and you need to create an artificial excuse for you to stop constantly touching it.

I almost only use my phone when I poop, for flashcards. Guarantees me at least 5-10 minutes a day, and encourages me to relax (i.e. not strain) and not hurry the process. I might pick it up again at night when I'm getting tired to do more flashcards so I don't accidentally start something that will keep me up because I don't want to stop it in the middle.

So almost exclusively on the toilet and before bed (oh no!). My advice is don't smoke crack when you poop if you're a crackhead. In fact, any space you can open during which you are not smoking crack is good if you're a crackhead.

Also, sitting on the toilet doesn't give you hemorrhoids. Straining on the toilet gives you hemorrhoids. If your diet forces you to take a long time, you'll strain to hurry it up (or it may simply be unavoidable.) If you already have hemorrhoids, you'll take longer on the toilet (thereby associating long periods on the toilet with hemorrhoids.) Simply sitting on the toilet and letting things gently happen is not a bad thing, and also probably something that a person who is on their phone every minute of the day attending to beeps (and being filled with worry when it is not beeping) can't conceive of.

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#152

Post by lanstin » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:24 PM UTC

anonymars wrote: post #110

VCFundedGenYer wrote: post #103

This article has clearly forgotten the past. People would read magazines, newspapers, nearby bottles of things, etc. The phone part is irrelevant.

Ah, yes, the engagement-maximizing shampoo bottle ingredient list

The Sunday Times - all the news that is fit to print.

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#153

Post by morkalork » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:24 PM UTC

nerevarthelame wrote: post #116

huhtenberg wrote: post #41

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

My family had dedicated bathroom reading that sat on the top of every toilet cistern. Usually something like a Far Side comic collection or an "Uncle John's Bathroom Reader."

My extended family still has some old copies of Reader's Digest compilations hanging around the bathroom.

Edit: those books are basically the print version of reddit's front page of posts from r/interestingasfuck, r/todayilearned, r/MadeMeSmile etc.

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#154

Post by busymom0 » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:25 PM UTC

bonsai_spool wrote: post #83

huhtenberg wrote: post #41

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

> Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. Wow, I forgot that I used to do this! And I'd puzzle over whether any ozone was left with all the CFCs being emitted. But yes, the OP is very edgy take that totally ignores the existence of book/magazine baskets next to toilets. It's a huge plot point in Breaking Bad, fo…

On shark tank, this couple had a product which was basically a sand timer for pooping. Some sharks didn't invest in it because they thought pooping was one of the few times people get peace and let them do what they want.

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#155

Post by andrewshadura » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:26 PM UTC

huhtenberg wrote: post #41

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

Also in all sorts of languages. Czech, Slovak, Estonian, French, you name it. A gentle introduction into comparative linguistics :D

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#156

Post by footydude » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:27 PM UTC

echelon wrote: post #48

Retr0id wrote: post #24

If pooping is the only time you spend away from your phone, you're not spending enough time away from your phone.

The reason we have declining birth rates is phones. It's not the economy. People have overwhelmingly been historically poor. Our ancestors ate rotting and festering meat and they had plenty of kids. Your great great grandparents went through some shit. HN community demographics are the exception to the rule. The problem is every man and woman is sucked into a phone. They're never bored. There's no need to plan for lo…

> The reason we have declining birth rates is phones

US Live births per 1000 people from Macrotrends:

* 1960 - 22.70

* 1970 - 16.83

* 1980 - 14.99

* 1990 - 15.57

* 2000 - 14.18

* 2010 - 13.31

* 2020 - 11.99

* 2026 - 11.98

In the 30 years 1960 - 1990 which predate widespread adoption of mobile phones, we see a drop of ~7 live births per 1000 people.

In the 35 years since then (during which mobile phones have become ubiquitous) it has dropped by a further 3.5 live births per 1000 which is half the prior reduction.

If we look at US fertility rates the situation is even more dramatic. Births per woman:

* 1960 - 3.44

* 1970 - 2.34

* 1980 - 1.79

* 1990 - 1.96

* 2000 - 2.01

* 2010 - 1.98

* 2020 - 1.78

* 2026 - 1.79

The 30 years from 1960-1990 see a drop of almost 1.5 vs. a drop of about 0.2 in the 35 years since.

All of which is to say that the trend for declining birth rates predates mobile phone adoption, the biggest declines came prior to mobile phones being in widespread use. I've not researched the matter but my understanding is the primary drives in declining birth-rates are A) widespread availability of reliable birth control (the pill) and B)population wealth increases which tend to correlate quite strongly with the number of children a person has.

I don't discount phones having at least some impact, but seems highly unlikely that it's 'the' reason.

live births - https://www.macrotrends.net/global-metrics/countries/usa/uni... fertility rate - https://www.macrotrends.net/global-metrics/countries/usa/uni...

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#157

Post by freddyfloof » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:29 PM UTC

huhtenberg wrote: post #41

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

”Ei saa peittää” is forever imprinted in me! One of the first memes I think I came across growing up. I remember both kids and grownups spontaneously just saying it.

For many of us Swedes this was the one of the first and few Finnish sentences we ever learnt (it means ”Do not cover” and was printed on electric panel heaters in the bathroom).

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#158

Post by ramijames » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:30 PM UTC

huhtenberg wrote: post #41

Back when we lived without phones, we used to read instruction labels on all and any household cleaning products that were stored in the bathroom. I bet there too was some obscure newspaper column that advised against that. Yet, lo and behold, we survived!

I don't know about you guys, but I kept a stack of books in the bathroom. I managed to get through a lot of books two or three pages at a time. I don't even know why I stopped.

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#159

Post by rrgok » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:30 PM UTC

saghm wrote: post #123

bitmasher9 wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The healthy range of frequency is roughly 3/day-0.3/day.

Sounds like I'm still in the range then! Interesting that it varies so much. I've heard some people say (or I guess imply) that they do it daily, and it's so different from my experience that I've always wondered which way is more "normal". I guess both are!

you are full of shit /s

Re: Don't use your phone while you poop

#160

Post by goobatrooba » Sat, Aug 08, 2026, 4:32 PM UTC

01100011 wrote: post #63

Pooping is interesting. Having a toddler reminded me how pooping is this uniquely vulnerable, sensitive time for humans. I think a lot of us use books/phones/etc to distract ourselves from a sensorily intense activity. I'm not saying that's a good or bad thing, just noting it. I will say that playing my Nintendo DS on the toilet many years ago gave me hemorrhoids that still persist decades later. Don't camp on the to…

And yet the toilet is one of the most connected places in the house. I love this BBC "Thinking Allowed" podcast episode on toilets that makes the point powerfully:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03vgf4m