With my online friends there's a shared understanding that we'll most likely never meet IRL and probably wouldn't even like each other. It's like mutual parasociality, lol.
Online Friends Are Real Friends
81–90 of 92 posts
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#82A counterpoint is that people - especially young people - who spend enough time on the internet to be willing to develop online friendships tend to be people who lack a proper irl social life, and (from my own personal experience) it is painfully obvious when you meet someone in real life who has grown up socialising primarily with people on Twitter and in Discord servers vs people who've had a more healthy balance.
Despite my best efforts to make it work, it's quite easy for me to see the contrast between people I've met from the internet and people who originated irl. The terminally-online people tend to have much higher rates of mental illness or be uncomfortably weird to be around. On the bright side, I've found this to be less true when socialising with people who I've met through those internet friends.
Additionally, internet friendships are more viable the less interesting and wholesome your life actually is. You can't start a band together. You can't share opinions on the taste of a meal unless it's from a multinational fast food chain. You can't walk through a forest together. You can't go on a bicycle ride on the trail near your house and share an equal level of genuine appreciation for how beautiful the nature looks this time of year, with full sensory experience. (Related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RH3D1cpm6do)
Sure, the internet could be a good tool to initially find people (if you're lucky enough to not experience the issues described my first two paragraphs), but for me the aim should be to transition to an in-person relationship as quickly as possible. I don't want my friendships to just be text on a screen, where every thought I express to them is monitored by the digital surveillance panopticon, where they could disappear and be replaced with ChatGPT and I wouldn't know the difference, where my friendship with them is on-hold if their house loses internet for a week and their cell phone reception isn't good enough to make video calls, where I can't give them a hug or offer to tidy their house with them or make any tangible, physical positive impact on their life.
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#83A counterpoint is that people - especially young people - who spend enough time on the internet to be willing to develop online friendships tend to be people who lack a proper irl social life, and (from my own personal experience) it is painfully obvious when you meet someone in real life who has grown up socialising primarily with people on Twitter and in Discord servers vs people who've had a more healthy balance.…
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Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#84Earlier quoted context omitted.
Use apps like Snapchat to ensure they are who they say they are (if they refuse to verify via snap or insta's snap feature don't bother with them). If they are not local delete them immediately if they ever ask for money or give a sob story, no matter how long you've been chatting! Protect yourself and don't be a fool as the Internet can be amazing on one side (have many chat buds on Snap and other apps who have veri…
>delete them immediately if they ever ask for money or give a sob story, no matter how long you've been chatting! So your internet friends will delete you immediately in your moment of need? How reassuring.
Yup i will delete them as soon as they ask for money! I don't have friends who are needy in real life past Many years. Those in real life friends who have been needy knew not to ask me too much cause they knew I'd be judgey for their stupid decisions.
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#85I met my wife playing Star Wars Galaxies, online. She was member #4 in the guild I ran, The Trade Federation on Flurry, one of a whole crew of people I'd never met in my life. It was a very interesting way to meet, to get to know a person with zero real physical input, no pics (we're too old for that stuff), and we talked on and on about philosophy, life, kids, learning, loving, challenges. For a good while it was ju…
I met so many awesome people in SWG. It did a really great job of fostering social interactions in a real way, not just transactional menu button presses. To get a lot of things done in the economy and the different aspects of the community you had to talk to people. You were also part of a persistent universe, so you could frequent the same spots and end up bumping into people. Just those two aspects I believe are w…
It feels like this kind of gameplay has come and gone and new games lack that depth
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#86I once read about a father who told his daughter, "real friends are people who care how your life ends up." I think that's a pretty good definition to go by.
I agree with this wholeheartedly. Embracing this change in what you value in relationships is a key part of growing up. The shift from playing together (childhood) to having each others' backs (adolescence, college, 20s) to building up each others' lives (adulthood). Your true friends have bigger dreams for you than you have for yourself.
This is really beautiful. It's wisdom that seems so clear at my current stage of life, but wasn't obvious to me at age 15 or even 25.
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#87Is this reddit or hn?
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#88I'm sorry, but this is like saying "online sex is real sex". I'm sure some people can get the same stimulation, but it very much isn't the same. Humans need other humans, in flesh and blood in front of them. Bonding needs a physical presence. That's the only way our social processes have evolved. Given the sociability crisis and how having online friends can still have benefits, it's fine to paint them as something g…
I've had flesh and blood humans in front of me and it didn't feel good, maybe you're projecting.
Maybe I'm projecting a preference for something that humans have always done. But are you sure you're not trying to normalize your own unnatural preference?
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#89I have a bestfriend who I met on mIRC, we are still bestfriends after 26 years later.
Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends
#90I’ve never had online friends, actually. Never. I’ve been alive 40 years and I’ve never had an online friend.
There have been people I’ve met online, then go to know and befriend offline. There are friends offline, who I’ve kept in touch with online. But there is nobody I know solely online that I would consider a friend, and it would take a lot to change that. IRL is simply a different thing altogether for me. It’s hard to imagine making a ‘real’ friend without try at IRL interaction.