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Online Friends Are Real Friends

toska.bearblog.dev

61–70 of 92 posts

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#61
post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Use apps like Snapchat to ensure they are who they say they are (if they refuse to verify via snap or insta's snap feature don't bother with them). If they are not local delete them immediately if they ever ask for money or give a sob story, no matter how long you've been chatting! Protect yourself and don't be a fool as the Internet can be amazing on one side (have many chat buds on Snap and other apps who have veri…

What do you mean snap feature? Can you explain?

Snapchat is app where you send live photos directly from your phone's camera. When you snap someone its a non-filtered picture you just took from your phone's camera (its how you look at that present moment) that you send to your contact and they will snap you back or vice versa. Great way to ensure neither are catfishing or are a scammer as scammer always use fake or AI pics.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#62
post #3

Here's the problem with online relationships, you can pick them up and drop them whenever you like. You can do that in real life to a degree, but sometimes you are forced to confront friends in real life when you don't want to. A real friend requires surviving a degree of confrontation.

[deleted]

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#63

How do you make online friends? I’ve been on Reddit for many years and have rarely even DM’ed anyone. I’ve also tried apps like Boo but the conversations always fizzle out.

Instagram, actually. People try to do introduction posts in their niches (and everybody has niches) and I’ve made durable online friendships with them.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#64
post #3

Here's the problem with online relationships, you can pick them up and drop them whenever you like. You can do that in real life to a degree, but sometimes you are forced to confront friends in real life when you don't want to. A real friend requires surviving a degree of confrontation.

I've experience that probably in the same ratio with IRL and Online contacts.

Sometimes people just go into different directions, it's sad but it's ok.

I've kept alive some online friendships from the bb forums, that I've met in real life a couple of times.

Similar to friends from HS, college or ex coworker friendships, sometimes interests change, they get into weird values you don't share or mature at a different speed than you. Sometimes it's just a logistics problem, it's hard to keep friends when you have a family, jobs and live in another time zone.

I've been ghosted by IRL friends as bad as with online friends. Outside of an awkward encounter in the mall or something like that, there is no real difference in that regard.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#65
post #35

I met my wife playing Star Wars Galaxies, online. She was member #4 in the guild I ran, The Trade Federation on Flurry, one of a whole crew of people I'd never met in my life. It was a very interesting way to meet, to get to know a person with zero real physical input, no pics (we're too old for that stuff), and we talked on and on about philosophy, life, kids, learning, loving, challenges. For a good while it was ju…

I met so many awesome people in SWG. It did a really great job of fostering social interactions in a real way, not just transactional menu button presses. To get a lot of things done in the economy and the different aspects of the community you had to talk to people. You were also part of a persistent universe, so you could frequent the same spots and end up bumping into people.

Just those two aspects I believe are where online games have gone so wrong, and it's an easy fix. Persistent servers instead of matchmaking, and don't make every little interaction a gamified polished system. Leave some room for the chatbox/voice comms to be relevant for getting stuff done.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#66
I'm sorry, but this is like saying "online sex is real sex". I'm sure some people can get the same stimulation, but it very much isn't the same.

Humans need other humans, in flesh and blood in front of them. Bonding needs a physical presence. That's the only way our social processes have evolved.

Given the sociability crisis and how having online friends can still have benefits, it's fine to paint them as something good, but they shouldn't be mistaken for the real thing, and this sort of ideas hide away our unnatural modern lifestyle.

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#68
post #44

anybody got into the online to IRL issue where you pictured the person differently and it didn't survive the meeting ?

Meeting an online friend IRL without ever having seen a photo of them is odd.

I'd say that sending your photo to a someone online is even weirder. If you're friends based on hobbies, interests, then their appearance (assuming decent hygiene ofc) shouldn't matter that much. From numerous times I've met online friends, I might've seen their photo few times at most?

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#69

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe I'm old school, but if you can erase someone from your life because you block them on an app, this probably was not 'real-life'?

The only situations you can't stop seeing someone you don't like IRL are: 1) School 2) Work 3) Very small town If you live in a major metro area, it's pretty easy to not see people, especially if you're actively wanting to avoid them.

4. Having kids together.

5. Having mutual friends.

6. Having common interests (playing in sports leagues, charity/volunteer work, active in local politics)

Re: Online Friends Are Real Friends

#70
post #56
post #3

Here's the problem with online relationships, you can pick them up and drop them whenever you like. You can do that in real life to a degree, but sometimes you are forced to confront friends in real life when you don't want to. A real friend requires surviving a degree of confrontation.

Maybe in isolation, although in most competitive video game spaces (which is where I've met majority of my "online friends") a disagreement between two parties tend to get resolve because it disrupts the entire dynamic. It is increasingly difficult to just "drop" someone when you friends with their IRL friends, which is also pretty common. You'll play a game and meet someone, they'll meet you and invite their friend…

> Maybe in isolation, although in most competitive video game spaces (which is where I've met majority of my "online friends") a disagreement between two parties tend to get resolve because it disrupts the entire dynamic.

Sure but often the most easiest way to resolve nontrivial disputes online is to remove one of the participants from the community.

> It is increasingly difficult to just "drop" someone when you friends with their IRL friends, which is also pretty common. You'll play a game and meet someone, they'll meet you and invite their friend to all queue up.

Now you're bringing in real life relationships which yes are much harder to just drop.

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