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I love you, dad

notch.tumblr.com

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Re: I love you, dad

#41

Post by kristofferR »

gprasanth wrote: post #34

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Because randomness isn't conscious.

As humans we tend to place a lot of purely human ideals/ideas on the non-human world, but they're all actually things we've just made up.

Goodness/badness/fairness/unfairness aren't "real things" existing in nature; they’re just something humanity has created in our minds and societies. No things has an inherent goodness or badness, we as humans just think/decide it is.

Don't get me wrong, it's essential for human well being to have such things in place, but it's not something we can subject non-conscious things to.

Gravity doesn't care, and can't care or know in any way, whether the guy soon to die from a coconut hit to his head falling from a tree was a child rapist or a humble "saint" always bringing happiness to other people.

Re: I love you, dad

#42

Post by debacle »

gxs wrote: post #37
jbail wrote: post #6

That gave me chills. I'm constantly impressed by people that have the ability to share their personal life with the world in an honest way that reveals the vulnerabilities we all share as humans. It is so much more refreshing than the opposite, where we pretend our lives are perfect and we never experience moments of doubt or melancholy. It is rare to see someone make a post like this. This is precisely what makes it…

It may be refreshing, but people aren't drawn to it. It's the same idea as to why people are drawn to assholes, why people respect someone who speaks their mind more than someone who is a poeple pleaser etc. You speak like this for long enough around people, and they just wont want to be around you. Every now and then, like you said, it's refreshing.

> It may be refreshing, but people aren't drawn to it.

Really? My feelings on Notch have been greatly elevated by it. It shows an incredibly positive attitude about life.

Re: I love you, dad

#45

Post by edw519 »

Notch, if you're reading this, my deepest sympathy. I understand the devastation of losing a parent; I lost my mother about a year ago. I'm still not "back to normal" and don't know if I ever will be.

I used to do art, music, and comedy, and even practiced my religion, often just for her. I loved to make her laugh and it was so easy to make her proud. In the past year, I have done none of that stuff and don't know when or if I ever will.

Programming is one of the few things I've ever done that I never did just to say, "Hey Ma! Look what I did!" She never understood it. So in the past year, it's one of the few things I've been able to do. I've written a ton of code and taken great comfort it in.

I won't even attempt to give advice; none of the advice I've received from well-intentioned others in the past year has been helpful. I just hope you, me, and others like us find comfort in the wonderful memories of beloved parents and find a way to move on with our lives.

More about my mother here: http://edweissman.com/betty-weissman-1930-2011

Re: I love you, dad

#47

Post by dustismo »

redad wrote: post #2

My father has substance abuse problems too (alcohol dependency for 20 years) and it has destroyed his relationship with my siblings and my mother, he's going to lose what little he has left very soon and I genuinely fear he's going to do something very similar to what is mentioned here. I am the only child that will talk to him without contempt and I have long since left home. He lost his own father very recently and…

In order to help your addicted father you should consider first focusing on yourself. The stress and guilt of having an addicted loved one can affect your own mental health. Speak to an addiction specialist, they can help you formulate appropriate actions in dealing with your father, perhaps an intervention, perhaps something else. Al-Anon (http://al-anon.alateen.org/) is a good resource.

Re: I love you, dad

#48

Post by rsl7 »

jbail wrote: post #6

That gave me chills. I'm constantly impressed by people that have the ability to share their personal life with the world in an honest way that reveals the vulnerabilities we all share as humans. It is so much more refreshing than the opposite, where we pretend our lives are perfect and we never experience moments of doubt or melancholy. It is rare to see someone make a post like this. This is precisely what makes it…

It is a great post.

But let's not fall into the trap of "honest, open sharing" is better than pretending, that pretending is bad, or that either is better than not sharing at all. Lots of people make their lives better by pretending enough so that it becomes so. Lots of people also aren't interested in sharing at all. Lots of what appears to be open honest vulnerability sharing is also posturing and pretending, but it's hard for an outsider to know.

tl;dr- don't judge.

Re: I love you, dad

#49

Post by gprasanth »

kristofferR wrote: post #41
gprasanth wrote: post #34

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Because randomness isn't conscious. As humans we tend to place a lot of purely human ideals/ideas on the non-human world, but they're all actually things we've just made up. Goodness/badness/fairness/unfairness aren't "real things" existing in nature; they’re just something humanity has created in our minds and societies. No things has an inherent goodness or badness, we as humans just think/decide it is. Don't get m…

Perfectly understood what you said. Good and Bad are associated to things by individuals.

I think I probably wanted to know what one should do when Bad things happen.

And, I guess I know the answer to that already: just keep moving forward.

Re: I love you, dad

#50

Post by shawn-butler »

kristofferR wrote: post #41
gprasanth wrote: post #34

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Because randomness isn't conscious. As humans we tend to place a lot of purely human ideals/ideas on the non-human world, but they're all actually things we've just made up. Goodness/badness/fairness/unfairness aren't "real things" existing in nature; they’re just something humanity has created in our minds and societies. No things has an inherent goodness or badness, we as humans just think/decide it is. Don't get m…

This is of course obviously false. Morality is a part of human nature. It isn't gifted by the supernatural. Therefore concepts like justice, good, bad have as real an existence as you. If humans are part of the natural order so is natural law.
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