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I love you, dad

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Re: I love you, dad

#32
post #7

I am very happy that my parents are married to each other, and my alive grandparents too, and that they don't have issues like this (what my father "abuse" is coca-cola, he rarely drinks, and noone smokes). And I am very sad to see that all other families are crumbling. I am seeking a girlfriend that wants to be a mother, and I am not finding, most of them are self-centered, and come from divorced families, the only…

Many women want to be mothers. Having a kid is easier than falling off a log, it just takes time.

However, it's not correct to imply that women with divorced families are worse somehow.

Re: I love you, dad

#35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Short answer is - you don't, really. There's very little one can do to help a grown-up person with a history of substance abuse. Unless you believe in God: but the efficacy of that approach is, clearly, impossible to scientifically verify.

"Unless you believe in God" If only the belief in God sincerely caused a difference in substance abuse, I'd be endorsing religiosity for its own sake! Of course, I'm sure you're referencing the will of God, but considering how many sincere faithful have their struggles with physical addiction, the belief alone is not enough :(

There are some indicators that it does make a difference; too lazy to dig those up, but it should not be surprising that adhering to some religious doctrine that discourages activity X should have some effect on reducing the frequency of X abuse among the adherents (not just the reported numbers, but actual values too).

However, what I wanted to say is more like - if you don't have a crane, yet need to lift an X-wing fighter from the bottom of the swamp, you have to use the Force. Nothing else will suffice. Basically, both the damage caused by substance abuse, and, more importantly, the deeper reasons people stick to it, are so huge, you need to pray for a miracle (and people who believe in God often do).

Re: I love you, dad

#36
post #8
post #2

My father has substance abuse problems too (alcohol dependency for 20 years) and it has destroyed his relationship with my siblings and my mother, he's going to lose what little he has left very soon and I genuinely fear he's going to do something very similar to what is mentioned here. I am the only child that will talk to him without contempt and I have long since left home. He lost his own father very recently and…

I dated a woman from a family like this. Her dad was in Vietnam and his squad was ambushed and he managed to find a hiding place from which he was able to witness the entire rest of his squad murdered in cold blood. 3 days later he got the balls to leave his hiding spot and the alcoholism began when he got home after being discharged. Classic PTSD case. Your dad needs to see a counselor to help treat the alcoholism a…

You should probably read the original post again...

Re: I love you, dad

#37
post #6

That gave me chills. I'm constantly impressed by people that have the ability to share their personal life with the world in an honest way that reveals the vulnerabilities we all share as humans. It is so much more refreshing than the opposite, where we pretend our lives are perfect and we never experience moments of doubt or melancholy. It is rare to see someone make a post like this. This is precisely what makes it…

It may be refreshing, but people aren't drawn to it. It's the same idea as to why people are drawn to assholes, why people respect someone who speaks their mind more than someone who is a poeple pleaser etc. You speak like this for long enough around people, and they just wont want to be around you.

Every now and then, like you said, it's refreshing.

Re: I love you, dad

#39
post #32
post #7

I am very happy that my parents are married to each other, and my alive grandparents too, and that they don't have issues like this (what my father "abuse" is coca-cola, he rarely drinks, and noone smokes). And I am very sad to see that all other families are crumbling. I am seeking a girlfriend that wants to be a mother, and I am not finding, most of them are self-centered, and come from divorced families, the only…

Many women want to be mothers. Having a kid is easier than falling off a log, it just takes time. However, it's not correct to imply that women with divorced families are worse somehow.

>Having a kid is easier than falling off a log, it just takes time.

Um, you know, that's not always true.

Re: I love you, dad

#40
post #32
post #7

I am very happy that my parents are married to each other, and my alive grandparents too, and that they don't have issues like this (what my father "abuse" is coca-cola, he rarely drinks, and noone smokes). And I am very sad to see that all other families are crumbling. I am seeking a girlfriend that wants to be a mother, and I am not finding, most of them are self-centered, and come from divorced families, the only…

Many women want to be mothers. Having a kid is easier than falling off a log, it just takes time. However, it's not correct to imply that women with divorced families are worse somehow.

That's correct, women from broken homes may work harder at marriage because they know how awful divorce can be.
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