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Did they ghost you?

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Re: Did they ghost you?

#191

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

chrysoprace wrote: post #170
ipaddr wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's usually last manager and co-workers where the company has a policy of not allowing references. Plus who wants to bother other people asking for a reference after you've been working for 25 years.

I have never heard of not allowing references. Is that a US thing? While I don't love providing references, given they are such a standard part of the employment process (at least here in Australia), I can't see how a company could disallow providing character references. That would be a big red flag if I discovered that after starting to work somewhere.

In the company I worked for, we were strictly prohibited from saying anything other than “name, rank, and serial number” (date of arrival, date of departure, position).

It was a legal liability issue. I’m told it’s pretty much de rigueur, these days.

One of the nice things, after leaving, was finally being able to give good references for former employees, for whom I really wanted to give glowing references.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#192

Post by johnnyanmac »

sccvcxv wrote: post #70
brandall10 wrote: post #55

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Had this happen at the beginning of the pandemic. Did well on the full loop. The Friday of that week the recruiter reaches out to get references. A week goes by, I hear nothing. I contact one of my references, they heard nothing. A month later another recruiter from the company reaches out and explains the recruiter I was talking to was let go that day. Told me in the system that I was approved to hire, but unfortuna…

It should be illegal to ask for references - the purpose of the interview is to understand your capabilities and abilities. If they couldn't suss all about you in that process then they have a shitty interview process.

Mixed. I disagree because you can't get culture fit out of a few hours of interviews, so having people who worked with you can help a lot.

I primarily agree because some companies get way too haughty and try to ask for references in the job app. There's no way I'm giving contact info of my leadership to you to bother them (2 of which very carefully avoid posting their contact info on the internet) unless I'm dead sure I'm in consideration for a role. Certainly not before I can talk to a human.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#193

Post by johnnyanmac »

AbsurdCensor wrote: post #85
sccvcxv wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

At least my experience in the professional world, if the provided reference says anything negative about the interviewee it’s a massive red flag. Maybe you don’t think that way, but for every position I have ever posted you’ll get at least 100 applicants, and each of them take a massive amount of time to interview and get through the system to hire. That reference is one more thing that helps. Better yet, it’s great…

>Like when it comes to dating, are you going to date a random person that you know nothing about

That's literally modern dating in a nutshell. Anyone not dating in their 2nd/3rd degree circle is going to the apps.

More than anything, though: I don't really get modern references because they are some of the easiest things to be faked. And if for whatever reason they require your last manager... well, what can you do if you don't have contact? My last professional studio shut down, I don't know if I can get a response from my lead. I'm sure that makes for easy excuses as well.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#194

Post by johnnyanmac »

lkramer wrote: post #187
paulcole wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can just take the other offer while you wait and then quit when the one you really want comes in.

I did that, and had to take a bollocking from the HR guy at the company I took the first offer from, but I don't regret it.

Dog eat dog world these days, and the employers broke the contract first. I'm sure they've had to reneg, ghost, or cancel interviewees. That kind of system begets more betrayal.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#195

Post by johnnyanmac »

RajT88 wrote: post #171
sirsinsalot wrote: post #108

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Recruiters are never your friend. Ever.

I have had many poor experiences with recruiters. You have heard all the same stories I have to tell. The ones you may not have heard is the odd post on LinkedIn from a recruiter which suggests that the role is so cutthroat that you have to ghost most candidates. The one person I know from college who became a tech recruiter was someone who was not technical (English/philosophy double major) who loved telling people…

>the role is so cutthroat that you have to ghost most candidates.

There's no "have". We have automated systems and they have a list of contact info. Make a whitelist then blast out a generic message if you have to. But you never "have" to ghost.

>Mostly, unless they were on the payroll of the company they were hiring for, I have just felt they were lazy.

I think that's the biggest thing AI revealed in all of this; most people simply do not care, and now they have a solution to care even less. It's just preying off most people's genuine desire to do the bare minimum, to the detriment of the people around them. It's a vicious cycle.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#196

Post by johnnyanmac »

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #43

Those are quite small sample sizes. I assume that this is supposed to grow? In my experience, I was usually ghosted (sometimes, rather brutally). In a couple of instances, I was able to get the companies to confirm that I was toast, but only after I bugged them.

I always follow up because it's honestly how I got my 2nd job. I got a generic recruiter response and did your normal call. Then nothing. Followed up in a few weeks and it was clear they simply forgot to report back to the team. Then they scheduled me for a call with my future lead.

On the other hand, it's hard to forget when I went 5 stages into an interview, then did 3 follow ups: 3 days later, a week after that, then 2 weeks after that. I got a response each time pretty quickly saying "yeah, your're still in consideration", and then nothing. Not even a generic rejection. I just cut my losses because if they can give weekly interviews for a month but need more than a month to consider me, it's not happening.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#197

Post by mcv »

fourseventy wrote: post #103
ButlerianJihad wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have participated in at least 3 rounds of vocational rehabilitation, and one of the major takeaways was writing thank-you notes after any interview. A note could be a card or an email, but a thank-you note simply expresses gratitude for the interviewer’s time and attention. And moreover, a followup will keep your name in their mind, for better or worse. Following up after the interview series may have been the tric…

I was recently interviewing candidates for a senior software engineer in Boston. I did about 20 interviews and only got 1 follow up/thank you email. I didn't send rejection emails to candidates that didn't send a follow up.

I usually thank people in person after an interview. Why would I do that by email?

And if they inform me about the rejection in person, that's great. It's not getting any feedback at all that's impolite and frustrating, because it leaves you in the dark about what the status is. Is this something you need to wait for or care about? It teaches applicants not to care.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#198

Post by johnnyanmac »

matchbok3 wrote: post #122
OptionOfT wrote: post #95

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Which should be illegal. You should be able to formulate why you prefer someone. And it would prevent companies from ghosting people.

Making this "illegal" does not solve the problem at all. People really need to stop providing this knee jerk outlawing reaction to things they don't like. I assume you'd also make it illegal for a person to turn down a company without a reason, right? How about we make that 6 months in prison.

>People really need to stop providing this knee jerk outlawing reaction to things they don't like.

No, we need way more regulation on jobs in the US. This country is sacking millions in real time but reporting record profits. That isn't right nor healthy.

>I assume you'd also make it illegal for a person to turn down a company without a reason, right?

Who holds the cards in the relationship, again? It's illegal to distriminate against hirees, but a person can choose any reason to take an offer over another.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#199

Post by johnnyanmac »

Dylan16807 wrote: post #167
matchbok3 wrote: post #122

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Making this "illegal" does not solve the problem at all. People really need to stop providing this knee jerk outlawing reaction to things they don't like. I assume you'd also make it illegal for a person to turn down a company without a reason, right? How about we make that 6 months in prison.

> Making this "illegal" does not solve the problem at all. Sure it does. You send an email politely reminding them they need to write out a basic reason, and then you get the reason. If they're crazy stubborn and absolutely refuse, small claims court is probably next. I'm pretty skeptical about the idea of making this a law, but a law could solve the problem. > I assume you'd also make it illegal for a person to turn…

> I'm pretty skeptical about the idea of making this a law, but a law could solve the problem.

We need more labor laws in general, but this one should be more of a good ol' fashioned social shaming situation. make it painful to try and outright ignore people you started talking to.

Re: Did they ghost you?

#200

Post by rubyfruit »

neilv wrote: post #99
rubylimetea wrote: post #20

Is ghosting really such a big deal? Wait until you get an overly smug rejection letter that the author seemed too eager to write, and took too much joy in writing. Some people love to reject, and would never miss an opportunity. Another angle is - If you've been ghosted, you still have not been told no. That means there's no record of you ever getting denied for the position. (and maybe you really haven't been) It's…

> Wait until you get an overly smug rejection letter that the author seemed too eager to write, and took too much joy in writing. I got one of those a few years ago, from a prominent tech startup CEO (non-YC). The funniest thing is that I'm pretty sure it's a person who has some kind of recurring episodes of anonymously attacking HN infrastructure and dang. Who then also attacked me on HN (and elsewhere, it looks lik…

This comment is so specific I know what you’re talking about and that you’re wrong about at least 2 details.

Whether you made it up or are confusing multiple people idk

Dang isn’t a great person, no mod is. Censorship is evil and we’re still in the dark ages.

In the future they will say in 2026 people were something like illiterate - nobody cared about solving death or aging (nobody is even working on it) and the authority of our day was way more into censoring ideas and collecting rent.

You’re basically a Savonarola fanboy

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