Tesla Balance Bike • Hacker News Board

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#21

Post by throwaw12 » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 8:54 AM UTC

4T valuation is incoming.

there are currently 600M kids between 0-4 ages. Imagine each paying $100 for this bike, we are talking about $60B revenue. On top of that Tesla is planning to sell accessories and subscription to these bikes, which will grow their revenue by another $120B

We haven't even started talking about how experience with these bikes will shape these kids and eventually they will buy Tesla in the future when they grow up (we are talking about another $50T market cap addition over 30 years, around 125M new customers every year)

IANAL, P&L, this is not a financial advice: Invest now before its too late

/sarcasm

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#22

Post by mDyJzDPmBdG » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 8:55 AM UTC

alterom wrote: post #4

alterom wrote: post #3

....Why?!

Seriously though. Musk promises self-driving cars, hyperloops, tunnels, and what they actually deliver is... a †balance bike*?! Satire is dead, because I can't imagine a worse self-own.

I mean at least it is transportation adjacent. Tesla flamethrower on other hand ...

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#23

Post by postepowanieadm » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 8:58 AM UTC

giamma wrote: post #13

This is a balance bike meant to attract the dads who are fans of the brand rather than a balance bike meant to be good for kids. First the handlebar is too large for small hands and comes with no grips, second the top tube is too wide to be comfortable between the legs and the whole frame is just edges. If you want a good balance bike look for brands like prevelo [0] or woom [1] who have been designing kid bikes for…

Woom is the best - not only when it comes to balance bikes, but also real bikes. As they really are bikes. Other, even serious, brands make kids' bikes that are just too heavy. Also, Woom keeps it's re-selling value very well, much better than anything what Tesla makes.

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#24

Post by ludicrousdispla » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 8:58 AM UTC

giamma wrote: post #13

This is a balance bike meant to attract the dads who are fans of the brand rather than a balance bike meant to be good for kids. First the handlebar is too large for small hands and comes with no grips, second the top tube is too wide to be comfortable between the legs and the whole frame is just edges. If you want a good balance bike look for brands like prevelo [0] or woom [1] who have been designing kid bikes for…

>> attract the dads who are fans of the brand

I'm surprised they haven't yet released a cyber-grill.

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#25

Post by mDyJzDPmBdG » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 8:59 AM UTC

marysol5 wrote: post #16

No doubt it's just a spray painted OEM product from China.

Well, at least this one looks like custom made: https://shop.tesla.com/product/cybertruck-for-kids?sku=19856... . I dare to say, most products in that shop make sense. Well besides the entire "why would I want anything related to this toxic brand" issue.

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#26

Post by alpineman » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 9:00 AM UTC

Warning: the bike may start to unexpectedly veer to the Far Right

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#27

Post by cromulent » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 9:03 AM UTC

foco_tubi wrote: post #12

technically this is a hobby-horse, not a bike

A dandy-horse, or a velocipede.

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#28

Post by simonmales » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 9:13 AM UTC

JR1427 wrote: post #15

Just buy your kid a good quality pedal bike [0], and take the pedals off. That way they can learn to use the brakes, and when you put the pedals on, they will quickly learn to cycle it. Took my daughter an afternoon. [0] e.g. https://us.earlyrider.com/products/belter-14-kids-bike-age-3...

Thanks for the tip!

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#29

Post by sajithdilshan » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 9:16 AM UTC

Maybe I'm too stupid to understand, but how do you ride it? is it electrical? If so what's the maximum speed? or is it just those toy bikes where the kids need to push forward with their feet? if that's the case why on earth is it 225$?

Re: Tesla Balance Bike

#30

Post by rich_sasha » Wed, Jul 22, 2026, 9:19 AM UTC

throwaw12 wrote: post #21

4T valuation is incoming. there are currently 600M kids between 0-4 ages. Imagine each paying $100 for this bike, we are talking about $60B revenue. On top of that Tesla is planning to sell accessories and subscription to these bikes, which will grow their revenue by another $120B We haven't even started talking about how experience with these bikes will shape these kids and eventually they will buy Tesla in the futu…

It's $225 per bike so revenue of $135b. Moar valuation!