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Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

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Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#14

Post by lassearpe »

Leewen wrote: post #10
lassearpe wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're right about the last paragraph. At least some sort of affirmation.

Your baby will not be a burden to you; they will be a source of joy. Whilst they bring you happiness, you also have a responsibility

That's a good perspective. I will do my best.

Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#15

Post by lassearpe »

austin-cheney wrote: post #12

I became a father at 24 and had both of my kids before I finished college. I didn't start programming until age 28. I turned out alright, and I am based in America where the costs of childcare and medicine will make you homeless.

Thanks for another perspective. I should be grateful for many things. Comparison the thief of joy and all that.

Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#16

Post by jfromtheblock »

Congrats on the little one. I've been on the other side, recruiting people, and I can tell you that parents tend to be more focused and efficient, maybe because they have less time. I am not a parent myself, but as an employer who hires constantly, I think what matters is to show how sharp you are. If you have little working experience, try building projects on the side, with coding tools, you have the potential to be a 10x engineer.

Hope it helps!

Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#17

Post by bruce511 »

lassearpe wrote: post #5
codingdave wrote: post #4

Odds are it won't make a huge difference - everyone has a life to live outside of work. Even if it does cause some career stagnation, any decrease in your career because of having kids is going to be a good thing. Absolutely nobody gets old and then says, "I wish I worked more and spent less time with family."

Yeah, that resonates with me. Value-wise, I would describe myself as more family-oriented than career-oriented. I guess I am just worrying about finding a decent job along the road, also to provide for said family. Thanks.

I don't know what it's like in Scandinavia, but here, as an employer, I would see it as a positive. Something you can use as a differentiator when interviewing.

Recent graduates often underestimate what really matters to employers, Stability.

Obviously I'm not expecting people to necessarily stay 40 years in the company, but it costs a lot of time effort and money to add a new person to the team. I'd like you to hang around a bit to make that worth it.

Having children makes fathers less "flighty". You're less obsessed with "building a resume" and more interested in the stability of the paycheck, stress-free working environment and so on.

Yes, you'll still leave for a better job, more pay and so on. But it'll be more calculated and less impulsive. Which gives us more opportunity to match your needs with my needs.

In other words the maturity you learn at home translates into more maturity in the office as well.

When interviewing for jobs, lean into words like maturity, responsibility, stability and so on. These things matter.

Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#18

Post by lassearpe »

jfromtheblock wrote: post #16

Congrats on the little one. I've been on the other side, recruiting people, and I can tell you that parents tend to be more focused and efficient, maybe because they have less time. I am not a parent myself, but as an employer who hires constantly, I think what matters is to show how sharp you are. If you have little working experience, try building projects on the side, with coding tools, you have the potential to b…

Thanks :)

Re: Ask HN: Having a child before career has taken off

#19

Post by lassearpe »

bruce511 wrote: post #17
lassearpe wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yeah, that resonates with me. Value-wise, I would describe myself as more family-oriented than career-oriented. I guess I am just worrying about finding a decent job along the road, also to provide for said family. Thanks.

I don't know what it's like in Scandinavia, but here, as an employer, I would see it as a positive. Something you can use as a differentiator when interviewing. Recent graduates often underestimate what really matters to employers, Stability. Obviously I'm not expecting people to necessarily stay 40 years in the company, but it costs a lot of time effort and money to add a new person to the team. I'd like you to hang…

This makes good sense to me. Thanks a lot for the perspective :)
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