42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support • Hacker News Board

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#201

Post by bell-cot » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:16 PM UTC

inigyou wrote: post #192

ironman1478 wrote: post #173

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That is all that is allowed due to local and state zoning codes. Loosening restrictions on what can be built will bring down costs and all for more types of buildings. The bland housing is all that pencils out for builders at the moment.

They did this in New Zealand under Jacinda Ardern's government and house prices have started to fall, but only slightly so far. IIRC the rules were something like, lots in a certain radius of a train station or town center are mandatory mixed-use zoning, overriding any city rules to the contrary. It was very controversial for the national government to override city governments like that.

> In several opinion polls, Ardern's domestic popularity had reached all-time lows by 19 January 2023...[when] Ardern announced she would resign as Labour leader and prime minister by 7 February. -Wikipedia

Other political leaders might hesitate to follow such footsteps.

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#202

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:17 PM UTC

PaulHoule wrote: post #60

My 20-something son is living with us but he does pay (some) rent. I half expect to have to apologize for this, like when I was growing up people would think you are a loser if you were in this situation. Today people think we are really smart and the people who are paying more rent than they can afford to live alone that are losing.

I am early 30s. I realised this about the time I finished university and thought I might be expected to move out. The housing market was already pretty insane.

I got a job that required me to move when I was 25, though, and what I realized after that was that living with your parents constrains you. I don't know how your relationship with your son is, but while I lived with my parents, they expected to know where I was going and be home for dinner, and even if I refused to tell them, I'd feel that I was judged for it, so I usually avoided it. Living by myself means if I want to go to a party or buy a pile of network switches for experimentation or get into soldering, I can just do it without worrying what my parents will think. I think delaying that stage has been really bad for my development.

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#203

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:18 PM UTC

pllbnk wrote: post #79

PaulHoule wrote: post #60

My 20-something son is living with us but he does pay (some) rent. I half expect to have to apologize for this, like when I was growing up people would think you are a loser if you were in this situation. Today people think we are really smart and the people who are paying more rent than they can afford to live alone that are losing.

I can’t understand morally or financially how can parents charge anything of their children. Not judging it, just honestly can’t understand it. Isn’t it the parents’ responsibility to build the foundation for their children and keep building it until it’s there? I am viewing it from a moral angle where it’s the parents’ selfish choice to have a child so they must take full responsibility until a child is or feels tha…

I paid discounted rent to my parents once I had a job and still lived with them. Really not a whole lot. I think of it not as a payment for existing but as a contribution to the household and if I couldn't pay for some reason, they wouldn't have evicted me.

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#204

Post by bradlys » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:19 PM UTC

rconti wrote: post #64

When I was a kid, we never had a ton of extra money, but my parents were very supportive-- they paid for most of my college expenses, for example. Their outlook was that us kids shouldn't have to work-- "school is your job". (However, both my sister and I _did_ have jobs while in school). However, I never _asked_ my parents for money. I had a good education and a well-paying job, and was able to turn IPO money into a…

Never had a ton of extra money but your parents can casually pay for your college expenses and buy a house for you?

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#205

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:20 PM UTC

pizzafeelsright wrote: post #160

pllbnk wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I understand that such a game of life might be beneficial for a child. But I would like to understand the reasoning to do that with an adult. > I know other fathers that charge their adult children rent, keep the money, and then gift it to them at the wedding or to help them buy a house. This looks like a game which should have ended by the time a child is an adult. I am raising a very young child so I am very concer…

I know my neighbors very well due to my personality. There are 20-40 year old adults who live with their parents for various reasons. The foolish "children" are those who order door dash at 3am with no income or education. They are unable to 'launch' from their parent's orbit. i feel terrible for these people. As mentioned, I know them well and they do not have an excuse other than laziness and permission. The rule '…

> The rule 'those who do not work do not eat' is something all people can agree

Um, no?

Thanks for suggesting a possible left/right political litmus test though.

We shouldn't have to waste too many resources on "useless people" but I think starving them to death is a bit excessive. We don't have a shortage of food. They're more likely to need mental health services or spiritual guidance to help them not be useless - which they can pay back in taxes if the transformation succeeds.

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#206

Post by 8note » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:21 PM UTC

ironman1478 wrote: post #173

antinomicus wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I may or may not meet your definition as a nimby 28 year old. I am all for housing, just not the type being built in my area. Dozens of “luxury” units built cheaply, selling for 4,000$ for a 1 bedroom. They get subsidized by the local government for including maybe 5 units that are “low income” and probably still cost 2k - and those low income units go away as soon as the building gets sold to another corporation. I…

That is all that is allowed due to local and state zoning codes. Loosening restrictions on what can be built will bring down costs and all for more types of buildings. The bland housing is all that pencils out for builders at the moment.

i think making it more restrictive would be better?

"affordable housing" is the same thing as "luxury housing" asides from the rent

sure, you could allow less restrictive builds so that you only get a room with no bathroom or kitchen for $4k but thats not actually better

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#207

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:23 PM UTC

PaulHoule wrote: post #74

PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It might, however, be a nice thing to aspire to, no? Economic self-sufficiency doesn't have to imply atomization, I think.

It's an interesting question. We have a group that promotes a "living wage" construct in Tompkins County that pushes the unquestioned assumption that people who are working in the lowest paying jobs can live 100% alone. It's not something I want to challenge directly, but... It reminds me of discussions about the minimum wage in the late 1980s when it was common for teenagers to work at supermarkets and fast food mar…

I can't think of any serious leftist who would advocate for high costs, unless there was some fundamental resource constraint like with fossil fuels.

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#208

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:25 PM UTC

rconti wrote: post #70

cliglot wrote: post #5

I may have ended up that way if I hadn’t gotten into software as a teenager. Luckily a did and the timing was right for me to make some sort of decent career out of it. I did live independently prior to going into software, but it sucked and was fragile and likely would have fallen apart long term. I also doubt I could find a similar living situation as a young man with no credit or much money to his name. Even the m…

> Even the mom and pop landlords use management companies that run you through a black box for approval/rejection with little room for negotiation. Rental approvals are ridiculous. We're renting an apartment while we remodel our house. We've taken out mortgages, refi'd mortgages, and (by now) taken out 3 HELOCs in a row (2 of them subsequently closed as we needed to re-file for more $). While there's a lot of paperwo…

And they wonder why they only get the most desperate people as tenants!

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#209

Post by 8note » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:25 PM UTC

solumunus wrote: post #185

stronglikedan wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We don't, as a matter of intentional policy, build enough housing. Or maybe we do, but just couldn't keep up with the enormous influx of immigrants for a few years a that ended a couple of years ago. The housing costs have risen due to unforeseen demand, not supply.

This was a problem long before that, the trajectory has been clear. Is immigration a factor? Sure. The suggestion that it’s the key issue is complete nonsense. This is happening all over the world, even places with low immigration. There’s really no economists claiming that immigration is the main driver. This is reactionary right wing rhetoric and not much more.

as an anecdatum, canadian, especially toronto proces are crashing after an easing of immigration

nothing else has particularly changed

Re: 42% of adults rely on their parents for financial support

#210

Post by inigyou » Thu, Jul 16, 2026, 9:26 PM UTC

PaulDavisThe1st wrote: post #45

burningChrome wrote: post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> Still being on your parent's family phone plan doesnt mean youd be destitute if they werent helping you out. I think there's some important things like this that should be considered. In the late 90's early aughts, I didn't need a laptop, smartphone and 24/7 internet access with 1GB download speeds or half the technological stuff kids need these days to be a contributing member of society. Now those are all standa…

> $350/month [ 2000 ] > $1500/month [ 2026 ] CPI inflation would suggest that the current cost ought to be about $692. So if it really costs $1500 to cover the things you've mentioned (noticeabley absent: student loans, health insurance, car payments) then either our society is deeply fucked or your list has changed or your estimates are wrong or your memory is wrong or all of the above.

Prices have been increasing much faster than CPI for years and decades. I'd say this suggests there's something wrong with CPI, but HN would violently disagree.