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Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

ramones.dev

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Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#251

Post by magicalist »

joe_the_user wrote: post #211
grvdrm wrote: post #194

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thank you for this reply. I thought the parent comment was blunt, and perhaps honest. But perhaps it could have added some positive and constructive commentary rather than saying what not to do. I hardly think these things are so binary anyways.

I would say "get (professional) help!" is advice that always sounds good and can be good for X percent of people and not so good for the rest. I am part of project that offers food and resources to unhoused people outside the usual state and regulated private agencies and without conditions. So by that fact I see many people who the mental health system fails to help for one reason or another. I can't tell you what p…

Sounds like you help people. Unless the OP edited their post, they said

> close HN, reach out to people, get help

that seems like perfectly compatible advice. I'm not sure why you're inferring a "professional" in there and then quibbling about it.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#252

Post by AussieWog93 »

pphysch wrote: post #89
theoreticalmal wrote: post #85

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping” - Jordan Peterson

Nice basic advice but ironic coming from him

I like to think of pre-12 Rules Peterson and post-12 Rules Peterson as two separate people.

Some mix of the fame, coordinated bad-faith campaigns against him and the Benzos broke the man's brain.

But you go back to his lecture series and TV show appearances from 2017 and prior and the man is lucid and insightful.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#253

Post by bit-anarchist »

bsoles wrote: post #243
bit-anarchist wrote: post #232

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I didn't know the Catholic Church was promoting child rape.

Being silent about it when they fully know about it is not much different than promoting.

Do they? Are you sure the high management knows who is a rapist or not? If so, I would like to see some evidence.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#254

Post by fapjacks »

feoren wrote: post #169
m1aw wrote: post #6

I know this pattern from myself. I'm doing alright as far as my career goes, not great, but okay. Which is disappointing because me and everyone around thought I'd do great, because I/they thought I was a great software developer, since I'm smart and I know my tech and my programming. Unfortunately working as a software developer is a different story entirely, I found many times that my chase for good simple code tak…

> Turns out I have ADHD You just magically found this out when the Mental Health Diagnosis Fairy visited you one night? You spent thousands of dollars for a neuropsych evaluation where the result was 40% reality, 40% chance, and 20% how the evaluator was feeling that day? You self-diagnosed by reading Reddit threads? You somehow magically found the one psychiatrist who is willing to talk about ADHD without immediatel…

No, I actually like this reply, because it's true in its essentials. You can find someone to tell you what you want to hear, but it's not going to pay the rent. And actual help needs to come from within, and no one has a magic wand or a one-weird-trick to actually help you. In the meantime, you have to pay the rent. Work sucks to varying degrees, and we all need coping mechanisms. Waving a flag with some acronym is not, at the end of the day, going to pay the rent. Find coping mechanisms.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#255

Post by thisislife2 »

> I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else.

True. Also don't overthink during the planning stage. And you need to understand that the reason you freeze / abandon and not complete something is because of anxiety (which triggers avoidance). For example, for perfectionists it is the strain of the high standards they demand from themselves and the hidden fear of judgement that drives this.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#256

Post by xivzgrev »

While you are resting I'd recommend meditation. You have a lot of thoughts, and you are trying to make sense of them.

Just create some space. Sit with them. Things will eventually make sense. Or not, some mysteries don't get solved. Either way you'll find a path forward.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#257

Post by thisislife2 »

nvarsj wrote: post #216
busymom0 wrote: post #171

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> talking to a psychiatrist Would you mind sharing what solutions they recommended for you to try? Also any meds?

Yep - meds. Tried a bunch and duloxetine is making a massive difference for me. On them for 4 months so far. Also picked up therapy yet again but tbh I never found therapy to really solve things - it helps me understand myself better at a logical level but the underlying anxiety / depression (including suicidal ideation) has never really gone away until the meds. I'd say right now I'm feeling quite content with life,…

Do you know what kind of talk therapy was offered to you?

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#258

Post by crispyambulance »

glitchc wrote: post #242

I read your post very carefully. I feel compelled to share my opinion, just as you should feel equally free to ignore it. Here goes: I suspect your vocation of choice is misaligned with your personality. Software/hardware development is very detail-oriented work, not much different from a mechanic, carpenter or watch-maker. It's easy to recover from mistakes in tech unlike the more tangible fields, but not any less f…

  >...vocation of choice is misaligned with your personality...
I also kind of sense this.

The OP mentioned they were doing systems engineering. That's a very particular hellscape of grinding details. It involves being comfortable constantly dealing with a lack of control and flow. The good news is there many different kinds of work. I hope they can find their path.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#259

Post by sp1nningaway »

jrowen wrote: post #162
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

> HN comments are _NOT_ going to help debugging your mental state. Nice paradox you've created there. > People here have trouble agreeing on engineering, product and business practices they specialise in. They are _NOT_ going to guide you in the right direction on mental health topics. I don't know that that follows logically. Whatever people they might reach out to in the real world -- be they friends, relatives, th…

>> HN comments are _NOT_ going to help debugging your mental state. > Nice paradox you've created there.

This is a "...and don't call me Shirley" level of logical interpretation of what they're saying. They are pointing out that "just try harder" is NOT going to work.

This resonated with me as I spent my whole life telling myself some version of OP's "stop making stupid mistakes" daily, and then castigating myself when I continued to make those mistakes.

Then I got a great therapist who helped me realize that I need to work with what I got and I'm SO much more productive and comfortable with myself now. That doesn't mean never getting better, and like smugglerFlynn I had a strong reaction to OP. He reminds me of myself, and I see him heading down a path that caused me a lot of pain.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#260

Post by grayhatter »

jrowen wrote: post #162
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

> HN comments are _NOT_ going to help debugging your mental state. Nice paradox you've created there. > People here have trouble agreeing on engineering, product and business practices they specialise in. They are _NOT_ going to guide you in the right direction on mental health topics. I don't know that that follows logically. Whatever people they might reach out to in the real world -- be they friends, relatives, th…

a warning doesn't count as a paradox. Also, a HN comment warning about HN's inability to help with complex issues, when the community can't even agree on domain specific issues (the cited example), is equally not a paradox.

But thankfully this comment goes to prove OP's exact point, HN comments will make wild claims as if they're true, but will be completely devoid of functional logic.

HN is for entertainment purposes only.

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