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Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

ramones.dev

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Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#121

Post by travelalberta »

mayhemducks wrote: post #77
jvanderbot wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes - you are identifying a non-depressed engineer. A depressed engineer can become one of those by removing the depression.

There is no cure for depression. Like there is no cure for diabetes. There is a big difference between having the disease, and feeling sadness brought on by circumstances. There is no such thing as simply "removing the depression".

100% of diabetes is chronic.

1% of depression is chronic.

>The good news is that with the right treatment and support, most people with depression can make a full recovery. (https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/depression-in-ad...)

I can't advise for genuine medical cases, but for the average case of anxiety/depression you can over come it. For men I would recommend the following channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ElishaLong

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#122

Post by shimman »

eks391 wrote: post #100
jvanderbot wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you recognize yourself in that post, then what you recognize is called negative self talk . The only advice I have for you is to learn to recognize how this pattern makes things worse and to learn (or be taught) how to stop that pattern. The blog post is a textbook self-flagellation and I have no doubt author returns to it to feel worse about themselves in some twisted attempt to motivate positive change.

In the last day I've spent a couple hours in a negativity loop. My wife doesn't know it, but she snapped me out of it and it's nice to see your comment as another reminder to avoid going down that path

We need to remind ourselves that it's okay to feel emotions across the spectrum of humanity. There is nothing wrong in feeling bad or having regret or feeling shame; just as there is nothing wrong with feeling glee or hatred or sadness. They are normal emotions, but what matters is how we respond to these emotions.

IDK why but one of the more damaging things about American culture is the constantly championing of individualism over community or belonging. Having one person you can talk to or spend quality time with is often enough and we should be encouraging more people to find their tribe.

My wife goes through negativity loops too, it hurts to see someone I love think so little of themselves but we're working through it together. That's life, we need to embrace it.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#123

Post by nvarsj »

smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

This... I finally changed my life by talking to a psychiatrist after 40+ years of suffering and trying a myriad of things. Mental illnesses are real and need real treatment.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#124

Post by thewebguyd »

hirvi74 wrote: post #115
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

As someone that is "neurodivergent," I agree. A lot of advice, especially surrounding executive dysfunction, could be boiled down into a single step -- step 1: do not have executive dysfunction. Now, I am not trying to say there is nothing anyone can do to improve themselves or their situation, but I do find a lot of advice falls short. Common advice is to set reminders, make lists, etc.. However, none of that is hel…

> I need lots of forced, external structure

Me as well, which is a really "fun" time when my specific blend of neurodivergence also causes me to immediately resent said authority and external structure and view it as removing my agency.

What I've learned as I've gotten older is just how much of our struggle comes down to our social model of disability. A lot of these "symptoms" are only disorders because we've built such rigid, uncompromising systems for interacting with and participating in society.

Modern psychology has a tendency to pathologize an individual's ability to conform to this rigidity instead of doing the hard work of promoting the building of flexible environments that are more accommodating of different ways of thinking and working. Instead, we work really hard to force a square peg into the round hole.

Its incredibly isolating, tbh.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#125

Post by shermantanktop »

al_borland wrote: post #116
fwlr wrote: post #29

This could be due to ADD, I am still getting tested. Granted, that's a diagnosis, not a root cause. No, it’s a diagnosis of the root cause - in fact, it is plausibly the root cause of everything else described in the post. Inability to complete work, procrastination/distraction by focusing on nearby tasks, the pervasive sense that you struggle with things that other people do not, even the depression (untreated ADD c…

> No, it’s a diagnosis of the root cause - in fact, it is plausibly the root cause of everything else described in the post. Yep. I was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD about a 1.5 years ago... My whole life came into focus. Everything that didn't make sense suddenly started to make sense. What I thought were 15 different issues I was dealing with were really all just symptoms of the one (or two in my case). The internal…

Finding a label for personal problems typically results in a honeymoon of self-acceptance and relief. The honeymoon usually ends and the problems remain, but now there are possible paths forward.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#126

Post by pfannkuchen »

hirvi74 wrote: post #117
brightball wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

> Consider becoming more involved with a local church. Go to services, meet people, join a Bible study. That is contingent on actually believing in the religion, no? In my experiences, church attendees do not tend to take kindly to people attending with anterior motives. When I was in school, I attended a few churches to meet new people. They were rather apprehensive when they learned I did not believe in any of it a…

Don’t tell them?

I’m pretty sure quite a few people who bring children to church don’t literally believe in the stuff themselves and just think the social elements and the morality are good for their children.

Were you trying to meet friends or trying to date though? If the latter I think it would feel a lot weirder.

Also if it bothers you to lie by omission I think one could come up with an explanation that wasn’t simply “I’m faking” and is more along the lines of “my grandparents were Christian and I think we lost something culturally when a lot of people stopped doing this” or something like that, assuming those are true for you. God is a metaphor, etc etc.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#127

Post by designed »

shimman wrote: post #119
brightball wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

You don't need to go to church to find community, a better response would be what you're saying but something where you don't pressure people to join an institution that might be extremely hostile to women or minorities. Anyone can find a community nearby, churches aren't the only way. Glad it worked out for you, but it doesn't for many people and that's okay. There are other communities out there. Also Church is no…

Many churches have professionally trained counsellors. No, they wouldn't tell you to "pray the cancer away" (though there are prosperity-"gospel" preaching churches that would say "donate to make the cancer go away"–beware), but they would counsel you from a biblical perspective, which is extremely helpful. And they would also tell you to seek professional help elsewhere if you need it and they couldn't provide it.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#129

Post by operatingthetan »

brightball wrote: post #112
smugglerFlynn wrote: post #99

> My goals for the end of 2027 are as follows: > Stop making stupid mistakes. I want to be able to finish a task fully without missing or skipping a step. One way to do this is to make a plan for everything you do, and only do that thing. Nothing else. If you are neurodivergent or have other things influencing you mentally, you are _NOT_ going to snap out of it. You are not going to just build a better planning syste…

[flagged]

The solution to neurodivergence is church? I'm sorry but come on, this blatant proselytizing is not appropriate here.

Re: Prioritize mental health, and why communication is so important

#130

Post by stopyellingatme »

t43562 wrote: post #44

Work forces you to see your own motivations and character and you have to manage yourself like you might manage a very valuable employee that you cannot afford to lose. This means you need to see your strengths and understand how you are motivated and try to come up with ways of making the best use of those characteristics. There's no point feeling sad that you aren't X or Y. If you're Z then how can you make best us…

"The way a person treats you is a reflection of where they are at in their own life"
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