Most lives are lived by default • Hacker News Board

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#121

Post by prawks » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 1:29 PM UTC

randomdata wrote: post #49

prawks wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I definitely agree. As a recent graduate, I was constantly plagued with thoughts like that. "Did I choose the right company? Area?" etc. It all comes down to, as you've alluded to, having perspective. I set a goal early in my undergraduate career to be in the very position I'm in today: working for a stable company with a lot of job security, and the ability to use it as a stepping stone in the event I'd like to take…

my grass is already as green as I had always wanted it. Which becomes its own struggle. Once you've hit an optimal shade of green, there is nothing left to do. Half of the enjoyment comes from actively working to make your proverbial lawn grow to be so green. Do you rip it up and start over to relive that enjoyment, or sit back and watch it grow?

I like to imagine that career development is sitting back and watching it grow. Maybe adding a shrub here or there.

(I'm not an entrepreneur, just a software engineer.)

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#122

Post by spitx » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 1:43 PM UTC

Dwell on this for a second, if you will.

These days in western societies, quite a few people hold this notion that can be best summed up as, "Happiness, to a large degree, comes from within"

Or as a corollary, one can use whats been offered by neumann_alfred below:

  If something in the exterior world makes you discontent,
  then it is not that object which troubles you, but rather
  your judgement of it; yet to blot out this judgement
  instantly is within your power. And if your  
  dissatisfaction is based on the condition of your soul,
  who can prohibit you from correcting your views?

However I feel that people resign to this world view essentially due to powerlessness or the perception of one's powerlessness.

The external world and the facets one finds disagreeable or troubling in it, just seem too Olympian a task to impact, much less expunge.

This paves the way for one to easily resolve to the aforementioned world view where one just finds easier to remedy his or her "judgment" of that disagreeable or "troubling" aspect, rather than engage it.

There must be a label for this phenomenon in the study of strategic decision making (Game theory).

Please do enlighten, if you're familiar with it.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#123

Post by ganley » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:03 PM UTC

acabal wrote: post #2

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything. But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on…

Exactly. Furthermore, thinking that way prevents people from investing themselves in their current situation, so of course that situation is never fulfilling.

As Buckaroo Banzai says: No matter where you go, there you are.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#124

Post by bcasey » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:20 PM UTC

nicholas73 wrote: post #31

acabal wrote: post #2

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything. But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on…

I directly disagree with this post and take a naturalist approach. People aren't unhappy because they want more; they are unhappy because their basic needs aren't met. And by needs I don't mean material needs, but basic self realization needs. We actually need very little to be happy, but people now live their lives in way they were not designed to be. As a primordial tribesmen, all people needed were the love and ca…

I agree with you completely. The simplicity required for a peaceful life is really difficult to find in today's world.

Additionally, it's a common misconception that primordial man was a poor wretch that scrounged for food, fought larger predators and generally lived a life in constant fear and hunger.

I once read an article on Mark's Daily Apple (http://www.marksdailyapple.com/about-2/who-is-grok/#axzz2ENJ...) that paints quite a different picture of a paleolithic lifestyle.

From the article, the paleolithic man, "...leads a life of relative peace, consistent rhythm, adequate sleep, and little stress. There are times of scarcity, to be sure, but his body is adapted to generally weather their strain."

As an entrepreneur, my goal is to earn enough to allow me live more simply and get back into the proper rhythm of life. How much money is that? I don't know yet, but the primary goal isn't to get rich, it's to get free.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#125

Post by personlurking » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:26 PM UTC

acabal wrote: post #2

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything. But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on…

"Say you go on this quest to find the best city to live in. You find a good one, and you're not unhappy. But you'll always have that doubt: "What if I had quested just a little more? Would I have found an even better city?" And that'll bum you out. It becomes the anxiety of "what if"."

I actually have 10 years experience with this. I've somewhat settled in one city (Rio) after all those years searching and moving. It's the best fit I've found but not the best in all categories. I think that's the best one can hope for, without turning it into a 20-yr quest...

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#126

Post by bcasey » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:33 PM UTC

tomp wrote: post #117

nicholas73 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I directly disagree with this post and take a naturalist approach. People aren't unhappy because they want more; they are unhappy because their basic needs aren't met. And by needs I don't mean material needs, but basic self realization needs. We actually need very little to be happy, but people now live their lives in way they were not designed to be. As a primordial tribesmen, all people needed were the love and ca…

I don't think that being recognized for success is a basic human (psychological) need. It certainly isn't mine. Sure, I like to be successful in what I do, but I only need internal recognition for that, i.e. people using something I built and being happy using it, not external (people actually thanking ME for having built it). I think longing for external recognition is a sign of a deeply wounded soul, of a person la…

I think you're correct, that internal happiness is incredibly important but being recognized by others is a basic human need. In fact, it's listed in the Esteem portion of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Esteem is one of the primary layers, and within it are both self-esteem and respect from external parties. It's a basic human desire to be accepted and valued by others. If you've gotten over the need to have acceptance by others, that's awesome. However, that doesn't mean it isn't a basic desire.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#127

Post by datashaman » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:50 PM UTC

Be aware that very things are forever, and life doesn't have to happen to you. Steer it. I like this article if only because it makes you self aware.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#128

Post by datashaman » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 2:54 PM UTC

theorique wrote: post #24

ef4 wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree completely that happiness comes from within. And yet there is a duality that has always struck me as important, though hard to explain: it's easiest to be happy when you're striving toward a goal you believe in. But you need to keep your sense of self, your ego, non-attached to the outcome of the striving. That is, you need to invest yourself 100% into doing things that are important to you, but remain detach…

Agreed. The idea is to act as if the outcome of what you were working on was the most important thing in the world to you, but to place no value on the actual outcome itself.

A similar principle in poker (which has many lessons for life in general) is that as long as you keep making the correct decisions, in the long run you will win. If you invest emotionally in the prize you will likely make the wrong decision.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#129

Post by pnathan » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 4:01 PM UTC

obstacle1 wrote: post #113

grecy wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Could be. I have no idea where it came from or why. I'm very interested in what it means today, and how I choose to incorporate it into my life. That's why I really enjoy learning from people that follow it to a large extent, and those that don't.

>I have no idea where it came from or why. It was very likely a product of the Reformation, and almost certainly had nothing to do with debt. Specifically, the ethic arose from the philosophies of Luther and Calvin in the 16th century. Prior to L&C, the dominant Catholic line held that hard work was a means to achieve salvation. Work was punishment. If you weren't performing good works you would go to hell. Working h…

This is a fairly correct summation of the theology & attitudes of the Puritan ethic. Far better than I could have written.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#130

Post by noahhs » Fri, Dec 07, 2012, 4:06 PM UTC

I notice the strong demand on HN for empowerment literature. Personal productivity, existential self-determination, etc.

People write with a sense of being illuminated, of knowing something that others don’t. A thinking person should not trust such things. All the same, it can be hard not to check it out--give it some eyeball-time.

I won't lie: I read this crap all the time when it comes up on HN. (One might speculate as to why.)

Anyway, I notice the patterns these things follow.

- Laying claim to an illuminated or gnostic truth. Someone who “gets” it, while others don’t.

- Hinting that you will benefit if you accept the claim as true.

- Lastly (optional), appealing to the ego, to the desire to feel superior.

This article was not so bad, in comparison. It stuck to its thesis without playing too much dirty pool. Its thesis was simplistic (essentially, "take risks"), which did not interest me that much.

I honestly think people should look more carefully at the rhetoric they feed on.