[flagged]
Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
121–130 of 163 posts
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#122I would love to get rid of my smartphone altogether, actually. I’m just not quite sure how to do it. I need to use a map app often. And most of the announcements and services in my country from companies and schools are all handled through WhatsApp. So it makes it a bit difficult to cut that tether.
If iPhone user may I suggest Apple Configurator or Assistive Access to strictly limit the things you can do with your phone?
Not sure what solutions exist on Android but I'd be amazed if there are none.
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#123Earlier quoted context omitted.
Getting a tiny phone not meant for media consumption is probably the closest you can achieve. You are not going to waste a lot of time watching youtube on a 3" screen, because that's just no fun. The "jelly star" phone looks kind of fun. I just sat in a busy tram and wondered what the scene would look like if we all had phones like that. It's an innteresting thought experiment.
The thing is I'd still need my regular phone for various things and i can't cut the sim in half.
Maybe dumber phone for day to day tasks. Then another phone that only has connectivity by sharing WiFi from the first phone.
So it's only a tiny barrier but if you need it, you turn on wifi sharing and take out the "real" phone. Otherwise it stays unconnected.
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#124Now it's smartphones and devices, but in the past it was work. Personally I think these days kids get a lot more attention from their parents than anytime in the past. Even so much that it can be irritating/damaging (parents being "friends/playmates" instead of parents).
I remember growing up that my dad reading the papers and watching the news was pretty much sacred. Paper maybe less so, but it was his "me time" after work along with coffee and cake, with the occasional chat with mom while we'd watch tv.
Part of me misses it, part of me thinks it's the same, just different now. I do think phones capture attention more than newspapers though, and trigger more violent or faster emotional ups and downs. Scrolling through social media exposes you to something fun, worrying, horrifying, etc every few seconds, I can't imagine that's healthy.
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#125I find these studies specifically frustrating because they don't answer the most interesting question - is it damaging if your caregiver uses phone a lot but remains responsive. This study specifically excludes it, and fair enough when being honest about the statistical inference and not overreaching, but that is the question I find most interesting as someone who uses my phone to get away from my desk but keep work…
If you use the phone a lot, you are not generating any initiative on your own and are not reponsive to small initiations you dont notice. You are responsive to when kid explicitely comes to you. Or otherwise said, if you are on the phone a lot, you are creating a barrier to interaction and people (both kids and adults) will eventually end up tired of trying and having less reciprocation. If you are not physically the…
Same is true if you're reading a newspaper
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#126Now it's smartphones and devices, but in the past it was work. Personally I think these days kids get a lot more attention from their parents than anytime in the past. Even so much that it can be irritating/damaging (parents being "friends/playmates" instead of parents).
> but in the past it was work. I suggest that reading previously took the roll devices take today. When my parents weren’t at work they were reading as often as not; newspapers and novels.
Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, novels were regarded as the video games or TikTok of their age — shallow, addictive, and dangerous [0]
You can interpret that as either "there's always a moral panic about anything new" or (my own take) "this is how far we have fallen".
[0] https://clivethompson.medium.com/why-novels-will-destroy-you...
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#127Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you use the phone a lot, you are not generating any initiative on your own and are not reponsive to small initiations you dont notice. You are responsive to when kid explicitely comes to you. Or otherwise said, if you are on the phone a lot, you are creating a barrier to interaction and people (both kids and adults) will eventually end up tired of trying and having less reciprocation. If you are not physically the…
Same is true if you're reading a newspaper
Ah yes, remember how back in the day people spent about 6-8 hours reading the newspaper. /s
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#128I find these studies specifically frustrating because they don't answer the most interesting question - is it damaging if your caregiver uses phone a lot but remains responsive. This study specifically excludes it, and fair enough when being honest about the statistical inference and not overreaching, but that is the question I find most interesting as someone who uses my phone to get away from my desk but keep work…
We focus too much on details and not the overall picture.
If you're a parent, one factor matters more than any other: the parents' emotional health determines the children's emotional health. Whether the parents have secure attachment, any intimacy/trust issues, high or low self-esteem, anxious or not, self-aware, how repressed they are, how comfortable with their own and others' emotions...
If a parent is uncomfortable with their thoughts/emotions and compensates with digital distractions, the issue isn't the phone. The media obsesses too much over symptoms and not causes.
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#129Now it's smartphones and devices, but in the past it was work. Personally I think these days kids get a lot more attention from their parents than anytime in the past. Even so much that it can be irritating/damaging (parents being "friends/playmates" instead of parents).
Beware the helicopters. Give kids the freedom to make mistakes and suffer the (nonfatal, no loss of life or limb) consequences. Yes, there are cases to intervene, but generally, you should let your kids hurt themselves more. Pain is a very important form of learning. By overprotecting them, they become very vulnerable adults, then worse things happen.
> you should let your kids hurt themselves more
This is quite presumptuous. Even minor injuries can add up to long term damage. We don't need to keep our kids inside or wrapped in crazy layers to protect them. We also don't need them to get hurt a lot for them to learn what's good or bad.
Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond
#130Earlier quoted context omitted.
Same is true if you're reading a newspaper
Ah yes, remember how back in the day people spent about 6-8 hours reading the newspaper. /s
You have a point but as a kid I would definitely spend that much time reading (mostly novels but also newspapers).
I was definitely not present or available when reading.
I think this is all a very complex topic and the desire to find a clearcut simple answer is more damaging than helpful