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Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

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Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#101

Post by anal_reactor »

jb1991 wrote: post #52

I would love to get rid of my smartphone altogether, actually. I’m just not quite sure how to do it. I need to use a map app often. And most of the announcements and services in my country from companies and schools are all handled through WhatsApp. So it makes it a bit difficult to cut that tether.

1. When you're browsing your phone but you're not having fun, stop. Try to distinguish "I am genuinely interested in that thing on the screen" vs "I'm just doomscrollig".

2. Try to replace parts of your smartphone with other things. Buying a clock helped me fix the habit of "I just opened my eyes, time for phone". I found my old PSP and I'm planning to run some emulator on that instead of phone to play some minigames.

3. I have my phone always completely silent. There's literally no notification that cannot wait until I decide to check the phone.

4. I sometimes turn off the data transfer in my phone. First, I get less notifications. Second, it's yet another barrier and it gives me a second to ask myself "do I really want to play with my phone now".

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#102

Post by jstanley »

godwinson__4-8 wrote: post #100
jstanley wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I did skim the Wikipedia article but it didn't seem to engage with anything I was thinking about. Almost everybody's revealed preference is to stay alive rather than to not be alive, otherwise we'd see a lot more suicide. > making an important choice such as bringing life into the world, without considering the consequences, is already somewhat unethical. This is a view you can take, but it's not as obviously importa…

I think you may have missed the point of the argument. The desire to avoid death is explicitly dealt with. The way you have thus answered it is somewhat amusing. Yes, we know people do not want to die. This is obvious. The question is then why do we keep creating people who will die? If they were never created in the first place they wouldn't know the difference. But as soon as you create them, you condemn them to th…

I think the distinction is that you think a life is only worth living if it is a sufficiently enjoyable life, and I think life is worth living intrinsically.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#103

Post by godwinson__4-8 »

jstanley wrote: post #102
godwinson__4-8 wrote: post #100

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think you may have missed the point of the argument. The desire to avoid death is explicitly dealt with. The way you have thus answered it is somewhat amusing. Yes, we know people do not want to die. This is obvious. The question is then why do we keep creating people who will die? If they were never created in the first place they wouldn't know the difference. But as soon as you create them, you condemn them to th…

I think the distinction is that you think a life is only worth living if it is a sufficiently enjoyable life, and I think life is worth living intrinsically.

Fair enough. I mean in such a case then yes the antinatalist view is simply incompatible. I'm not sure what I believe. I'm just searching for compelling arguments. I will confess your's leaves me unsatisfied. But to each their own. Thanks again for the back and forth.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#104

Post by microtonal »

tayo42 wrote: post #36
microtonal wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Changing habits is hard enough on it's own. parenthood and modern life makes that even more difficult It is possible to make changes, I would say this is one of the easier bad habits to beat. The best is to start with fixed moments where you as a family decide phones are forbidden. For example, shortly after our daughter was born, we decided "no phones during eating (breakfast/lunch/dinner)". When both parents are in…

It's not impossible,but on top of all the other stresses in life you need to sit down and figure out this new problem too? You have got to at least sympathize with the situation. I know I've regressed on phone use since my child was born.

All I can say is, time really flies by (before you know it they are teenagers). You only get one shot at enjoying their early years and they only get one youth. Make the best of it, cutting down smartphone use (for parent and child) is part of it.

If you are really addicted, seek help (we have to accept that it can be a real addiction). If not, set strict boundaries and remove addictive apps.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#105

Post by noufalibrahim »

microtonal wrote: post #21
tayo42 wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wyh can't it be something like I don't want you to end up like me? I don't think it's hypocritical Changing habits is hard enough on it's own.parenthood and modern life makes that even more difficult

Changing habits is hard enough on it's own. parenthood and modern life makes that even more difficult It is possible to make changes, I would say this is one of the easier bad habits to beat. The best is to start with fixed moments where you as a family decide phones are forbidden. For example, shortly after our daughter was born, we decided "no phones during eating (breakfast/lunch/dinner)". When both parents are in…

There are many things you can do to get it out of your family's life. No phones in the bedroom, No phones after X O'clock, Open conversations about social media with your kids, Unite with them in the fight against social media, block social media from your phones (use only a computer). My own poison of choice was twitter but thankfully, it's become X and I've become ex-twitter more or less. It's liberating. I also vibe coded some software to keep me off these things on my work computer so that's been good too.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#106

Post by GeoAtreides »

jb1991 wrote: post #52

I would love to get rid of my smartphone altogether, actually. I’m just not quite sure how to do it. I need to use a map app often. And most of the announcements and services in my country from companies and schools are all handled through WhatsApp. So it makes it a bit difficult to cut that tether.

not sure where the problem is?

look at maps only in the car, mute whatsapp and then check it from time to time.

seems pretty straightforward.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#107

Post by JauntyHatAngle »

I find these studies specifically frustrating because they don't answer the most interesting question - is it damaging if your caregiver uses phone a lot but remains responsive.

This study specifically excludes it, and fair enough when being honest about the statistical inference and not overreaching, but that is the question I find most interesting as someone who uses my phone to get away from my desk but keep work going so I can spend time with my kids while doing my job.

One outcome would be this is damaging and worse than just not spending time until after work, the other result would say this is a beneficial arrangement.

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#108

Post by n4r9 »

GeoAtreides wrote: post #106
jb1991 wrote: post #52

I would love to get rid of my smartphone altogether, actually. I’m just not quite sure how to do it. I need to use a map app often. And most of the announcements and services in my country from companies and schools are all handled through WhatsApp. So it makes it a bit difficult to cut that tether.

not sure where the problem is? look at maps only in the car, mute whatsapp and then check it from time to time. seems pretty straightforward.

Addictive behaviour is rarely cured by telling the addict to "just stop doing it".

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#109

Post by r_lee »

mc3301 wrote: post #58
StefanBatory wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have ADHD; I genuinely don't remember my childhood. If you told me my life started in secondary or high school, I would have believed you.

I dunno if that is connected to ADHD, and I dunno if I have ADHD (though by reading the textbook* on it, it kinda seems I do)... but I genuinely don't remember my childhood either. *Taking Charge of Adult ADHD

I have severe ADHD, I remember enough to remember how it is. maybe it's because I'm in my 20s.. at least the feeling/vibe and knowing how "it's for your own good!!!!" type of stuff actually sounds like

but still, imo I haven't changed that much. less risk taking, more worries, more wisdom (somewhat)

maybe for some people they really are super different when they're younger but for me it's been kind of a linear path after a certain point

+ don't quote me on this but from what I know, ADHD affects mostly short term and working memory, but long term memory, especially significant events/etc. can be quite well retained, which matches my experience

Re: Parental device use and the adolescent-caregiver attachment bond

#110

Post by Obscurity4340 »

JauntyHatAngle wrote: post #107

I find these studies specifically frustrating because they don't answer the most interesting question - is it damaging if your caregiver uses phone a lot but remains responsive. This study specifically excludes it, and fair enough when being honest about the statistical inference and not overreaching, but that is the question I find most interesting as someone who uses my phone to get away from my desk but keep work…

How do your kids feel abot it or have they expressed any frustration with your divided attention?
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