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Most lives are lived by default

raptitude.com

71–80 of 138 posts

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#71
I don't like the premise that happiness is based on what you have, and what you do with your time. It always seems to be the underlying assumption, and it drives people to be unhappy to always be striving for better conditions for themselves.

What gave me happiness is the idea in Buddhism fostering compassion for all people, including yourself, but not only yourself. It's the one aspect of Buddhism that most people ignore. Instead they concentrate on inner peace by quieting their mind or stopping their thoughts, which again is striving for a change in what they have, (ie. they would gain the ability to quiet their mind)

I don't mean to be heavy handed, and I'm not trying to force my ideas on others. I just haven't seen this idea of compassion for people brought up very often.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#72
A friend once told me, "You should try going with the flow once in a while." She was absolutely right.

Yes, many people could improve their situation by not sleepwalking through life. But similarly, we (people on HN and other ambitious folks) can learn to be more content with what life has given us. To reconcile ourselves with randomness. To take some time away from competition and drive and optimization.

Perhaps I'm being unfair to the author, but if you follow this article's advice to the extreme, you'll likely end up extremely unhappy. "Is this spouse really the best I can do? Should I really be living in this city? Would I be happier with different friends?"

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#73
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The "that's Marc Aurel for ya" makes it seem that he is a well known writer/thinker so maybe I am way off base thinking its Marcus Aurelius. Why would you think that you're off base? From what I gather Marcus Aurelius is a well known* thinker/writer - just ordered a copy of Mediations for myself after reading this post and comments. * edit

Because I never heard anyone refer to him as Marc Aurel in any of my philosophy classes and could not find any references to "marc aurel" on the internet. The familiarity of the statement made it seem like "marc aurel" was a household name. I also could not find the sentence in any copy of Meditations I found on the internet. Fyi: you can grab a copy of Meditations from a number of classics sites on the internet: htt…

Ah, yeah. I suppose I'm taking a leap of faith in assuming that they are one in the same and that the Marcus to Marc was just bad translation.

Thanks for the link, might be good for some light reading until I get the physical copy.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#75
post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I definitely agree. As a recent graduate, I was constantly plagued with thoughts like that. "Did I choose the right company? Area?" etc. It all comes down to, as you've alluded to, having perspective. I set a goal early in my undergraduate career to be in the very position I'm in today: working for a stable company with a lot of job security, and the ability to use it as a stepping stone in the event I'd like to take…

my grass is already as green as I had always wanted it. Which becomes its own struggle. Once you've hit an optimal shade of green, there is nothing left to do. Half of the enjoyment comes from actively working to make your proverbial lawn grow to be so green. Do you rip it up and start over to relive that enjoyment, or sit back and watch it grow?

The serial entrepreneur types tend to go make another lawn :P

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#76
post #2

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything. But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on…

Well said. Although I think part of the article is saying that as people, we shouldn't be afraid of stepping outside of our comfort zones to try something new, even if on the surface it doesn't immediately look like it's gonna be "greener pasture".

I think another thing to remember is that no matter how hard we try, it's not really possible to guarantee that our lives will always be "improving". Somewhere sometime we would all be better off learning to take the good with the bad - this will free us up to experiment and try new things without being completely reckless. As a result, I believe we'll all live more fulfilling lives.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#77
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Marc Aurel: If something in the exterior world makes you discontent, then it is not that object which troubles you, but rather your judgement of it; yet to blot out this judgement instantly is within your power. And if your dissatisfaction is based on the condition of your soul, who can prohibit you from correcting your views? Likewise, if you are discontent because you are not doing what seems reasonable to you, why…

Who is Marc Aurel? I found one link making it seem that "Marc Aurel" was actually "Marcus Aurelius" and had a citation referencing Meditations. But google could not find that quote in any translation for Meditations. The "that's Marc Aurel for ya" makes it seem that he is a well known writer/thinker so maybe I am way off base thinking its Marcus Aurelius.

It's an alternative spelling in German, sorry for the confusion.

"Google could not find that quote in any translation for Meditations"

That's because I translated it into English from a German translation of Meditations ^^

here's the same thing without that extra step:

http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/bl/bl_aurelius_bkvii...

If therefore it be a thing external that causes thy grief, know, that it is not that properly that doth cause it, but thine own conceit and opinion concerning the thing: which thou mayest rid thyself of, when thou wilt. But if it be somewhat that is amiss in thine own disposition, that doth grieve thee, mayest thou not rectify thy moral tenets and opinions. But if it grieve thee, that thou doest not perform that which seemeth unto thee right and just, why doest not thou choose rather to perform it than to grieve? But somewhat that is stronger than thyself doth hinder thee. Let it not grieve thee then, if it be not thy fault that the thing is not performed. 'Yea but it is a thing of that nature, as that thy life is not worth the while, except it may be performed.' If it be so, upon condition that thou be kindly and lovingly disposed towards all men, thou mayest be gone. For even then, as much as at any time, art thou in a very good estate of performance, when thou doest die in charity with those, that are an obstacle unto thy performance.

You know what, I think I like my version more :P

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#78
post #26
post #2

I don't like these kinds of posts, because they suggest that happiness is something just within our grasp, if only we did the exact right thing to grasp it. In this case, it's suggesting happiness comes in part from questing to find major change X in your life that will change everything. But I think that's actually the cause of a lot of unhappiness. It's a perpetual "grass is always greener" situation. Say you go on…

After graduating with an engineering degree in a field I enjoy, and taking my first job, I soon began asking myself what's next. I grew up alongside many kids whose parents funneled them into the typical "dream careers": doctor, lawyer, finance (and other people who got there on their own). After quickly hitting my head on the (relatively low) glass ceiling, I wondered if I hadn't missed out on huge opportunities in…

It's better to be happy than not happy. Rich/not is something different. I know many people in varying degrees along that scale and their happiness does not seem to be correlated to their wealth. Many in the lower end of the scale believe their happiness is tied to it, though.

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#79
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The "that's Marc Aurel for ya" makes it seem that he is a well known writer/thinker so maybe I am way off base thinking its Marcus Aurelius. Why would you think that you're off base? From what I gather Marcus Aurelius is a well known* thinker/writer - just ordered a copy of Mediations for myself after reading this post and comments. * edit

Because I never heard anyone refer to him as Marc Aurel in any of my philosophy classes and could not find any references to "marc aurel" on the internet. The familiarity of the statement made it seem like "marc aurel" was a household name. I also could not find the sentence in any copy of Meditations I found on the internet. Fyi: you can grab a copy of Meditations from a number of classics sites on the internet: htt…

"could not find any references to "marc aurel" on the internet."

?

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22marc+aurel%22

"Mark Aurel, auch Marc Aurel oder Marcus Aurelius"

Re: Most lives are lived by default

#80
post #64

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who is Marc Aurel? I found one link making it seem that "Marc Aurel" was actually "Marcus Aurelius" and had a citation referencing Meditations. But google could not find that quote in any translation for Meditations. The "that's Marc Aurel for ya" makes it seem that he is a well known writer/thinker so maybe I am way off base thinking its Marcus Aurelius.

It's an alternative spelling in German, sorry for the confusion. "Google could not find that quote in any translation for Meditations" That's because I translated it into English from a German translation of Meditations ^^ here's the same thing without that extra step: http://ancienthistory.about.com/library/bl/bl_aurelius_bkvii... If therefore it be a thing external that causes thy grief, know, that it is not that p…

Thank you for the education. Is dropping the ius/us (I forget the term high school latin was a long time ago) a common way of translating roman names to german?
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