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Becoming a dad changes men's brains

scientificamerican.com

21–30 of 112 posts

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#21
the only thing that I noticed that changed in me was my sudden understanding of what "fear" really is.

I had not experienced fear prior to becoming a father. The thought of one of my children being ... i'm not even going to say anything more. Use your imagination. That kind of thing scares me so much more than it did before I was a father.

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#22
post #10

Becoming a dad made me a sensitive snowflake crybaby :) There were a lot of days on which I cried more than the baby. Diagnosed with anxiety disorder, but then they said it comes with ADHD and probably has little to do with the baby. > As many as one in 10 men will experience paternal postnatal depression or anxiety. The symptoms often look different in dads—anger or sudden outbursts Oh well.

[deleted]

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#23
Exaggerating a bit, I felt like my old self was dead and I just happened to somehow have inherited his memories.

But a more concrete thing: While before I might have been saddened about bad things happening to kids, like any normal person would, after having kids myself I experience an stronger reaction:

I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#24

Exaggerating a bit, I felt like my old self was dead and I just happened to somehow have inherited his memories. But a more concrete thing: While before I might have been saddened about bad things happening to kids, like any normal person would, after having kids myself I experience an stronger reaction: I get almost physically ill when I hear about kids getting harmed.

I was surprised how sudden the change was - I didn't become a dad to my kid, I became a dad to all kids within sight or sound. Sure, most of the time I don't have to do anything, but I certainly notice much more now.

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#26

Becoming a dad simultaneously made me more empathetic (seeing a little person from the beginning for all they are) but also more impatient (fewer hours in the day), but beyond that not much. Given the notoriety about some of the techniques referenced in this article [0] curious if others notice anything more consistent. 0: https://academic.oup.com/brain/article/140/8/e53/4032512

After my child was born, I could no longer even look at newspaper headlines where something bad happened to a child.

Now, I can read the headlines, but I still can't read the articles.

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#28

the only thing that I noticed that changed in me was my sudden understanding of what "fear" really is. I had not experienced fear prior to becoming a father. The thought of one of my children being ... i'm not even going to say anything more. Use your imagination. That kind of thing scares me so much more than it did before I was a father.

One of our tech leads at work tried to do a team building exercise where we'd go around the table and name our greatest fear.

I was very glad to have been late to that particular meeting. It would have been pretty awkward for everyone if I'd started crying at the table.

Re: Becoming a dad changes men's brains

#30
Iliza Shlesinger has a great bit about how men discover that "woman is person too" when they have a baby daughter.

Best not go overboard on this whole thing about fathers and increased empathy, though.

Elon Musk has a father, after all. So did Donald Trump.

The Roblox CEO has children. Magical universal father empathy is clearly not working out there, or he would shut down his business and give any remaining money to charities.

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