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CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

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Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#21

Post by MikeHo »

poemorella wrote: post #6

I am an introvert and I manage a group of 22 employees in my now 8 year company. I have learned that the best way to connect with people is not to take myself too seriously. Also, make their time worthwhile when talking to them, don't ever over-promise and really, genuinely care about what they say to you.

Ego is often mixed up with self confidence, I agree that people should not themselves too seriously and to realize that in the grand scheme of things, we are all so insignificant individually.

Being a good listener is so essential in communication - We've all been on the other side of feeling disregarded in a conversation because of a distraction, text, time, wandering minds -- it's disrespectful and works in negative ways.

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#22

Post by [deleted] »

poemorella wrote: post #6

I am an introvert and I manage a group of 22 employees in my now 8 year company. I have learned that the best way to connect with people is not to take myself too seriously. Also, make their time worthwhile when talking to them, don't ever over-promise and really, genuinely care about what they say to you.

[deleted]

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#23

Post by [deleted] »

poemorella wrote: post #6

I am an introvert and I manage a group of 22 employees in my now 8 year company. I have learned that the best way to connect with people is not to take myself too seriously. Also, make their time worthwhile when talking to them, don't ever over-promise and really, genuinely care about what they say to you.

[deleted]

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#24

Post by [deleted] »

poemorella wrote: post #6

I am an introvert and I manage a group of 22 employees in my now 8 year company. I have learned that the best way to connect with people is not to take myself too seriously. Also, make their time worthwhile when talking to them, don't ever over-promise and really, genuinely care about what they say to you.

[deleted]

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#26

Post by saraid216 »

legutierr wrote: post #12
zem wrote: post #10

the ceo of my last company took it as an article of faith that "you don't need to be liked in order to get results" (which, of course, was his self-justification for being an asshole to everyone, but he had really managed to convince himself of it). i was never able to explain to him how wrong it was, he just dismissed it as me being a techie who "didn't understand people".

I honestly struggled with this question for years. Your former boss seems to be missing some perspective, without a doubt, but isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes? With some experience and hindsight, it seems to me now that some kind of balance is what's required. What I strive for today as a manager is fairness and consistenc…

> isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes?

The key is in why you're liked. If you're liked because you're tough but fair, that's a good reason to be liked. (Open to debate, but it's an example.) If you're liked because you're constantly bribing your way into everyone's good graces, that's not.

Really, the trick is to not care about whether or not you're liked, as that boss thought. Where he got it wrong is what you do instead. Competence involves people management, and people management involves both massaging and bruising egos. You need to be competent, to "get results", and if you do that by breaking as few eggs as possible to get there, people will back your play, will recognize the inevitable necessity of those eggs and not make a huge deal out of it. Competence can't come at the cost of competence: that's literally self-defeating.

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#27

Post by saraid216 »

saraid216 wrote: post #26
legutierr wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I honestly struggled with this question for years. Your former boss seems to be missing some perspective, without a doubt, but isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes? With some experience and hindsight, it seems to me now that some kind of balance is what's required. What I strive for today as a manager is fairness and consistenc…

> isn't it possible to take likability too far? Isn't it the case that getting things done inevitably means stepping on some toes? The key is in why you're liked. If you're liked because you're tough but fair, that's a good reason to be liked. (Open to debate, but it's an example.) If you're liked because you're constantly bribing your way into everyone's good graces, that's not. Really, the trick is to not care abou…

Or, I just thought of a simpler, and better known aphorism:

Make them look good.

As a boss, you make your team look good. As a business, you make your customer look good. As a team member, you make your leader look good. And so on. Accept credit when it's offered, precisely because giving that credit makes them look good, and share that credit because public praise is good.

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#28

Post by loceng »

coffeemug wrote: post #19

They didn’t sweat. They didn’t cry. They squirmed in their own skin, playing a role of their own inventing. A leader in times of crisis can’t have an iota of fakeness in him. I love this quote, and it doesn't just apply to leaders or CEOs, it applies to people . Most people I know squirm in their own skin in their personal lives, playing a role of their own inventing. Very, very few people are comfortable enough with…

It's not safe, at least the business world or towards strangers, to open yourself up to vulnerable or moments where you're powerless - because you won't have any idea how people will react, and many people are assholes. Hopefully with family, friends, and hopefully a close-knit team of people who respect and trust you, they too, will be safe to open yourself up to being vulnerable and show your powerlessness in certain situations. This is when I believe a team could become even stronger, when people have the opportunity to come together and problem solve. You hit right on the mark with mentioning building authentic relationships. It takes time to learn how to do that though, as you said - and I too see the process giving you exponential gains as you move along; I'm getting better at it as I go.

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#29

Post by ilaksh »

I thought there would be more content in an article with that title.

I don't think that good leaders need to learn how to be authentic or how to appear authentic to others.

I think that educated, intelligent, capable, ethical and self-confident people are naturally authentic in that they aren't so insecure as to try to hide their errors and are wise enough to know that insincere speech or behavior will be detected and detrimental.

I mean, I guess a lot of people really do need to be told this stuff, but I would rather be led by someone who had figured that stuff on their own by default (_without_ needing a lot of executive experience). And those people are out there.

Re: CEOs Don’t Come Pre-Made. Authentic Leadership Has To Be Learned

#30

Post by talGX »

poemorella wrote: post #6

I am an introvert and I manage a group of 22 employees in my now 8 year company. I have learned that the best way to connect with people is not to take myself too seriously. Also, make their time worthwhile when talking to them, don't ever over-promise and really, genuinely care about what they say to you.

I'm an introvert as well and I found out that it can be an advantage. Most startup employees (especially developers) are introverts as well and find it much easier to relate to someone like them. Most people are not looking for the typical 'manager' type.
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