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The AirPods Effect

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Re: The AirPods Effect

#491

Post by goodmythical »

XorNot wrote: post #449
goodmythical wrote: post #394

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>For example with conservative family-first suit types "hey man, how're the kids?" "Is your wife recovering from [illness] you mentioned last week?" "man, have heard the music on the radio lately?" "what kind of music do you like?" "can I ask you a personal question, what was the hardest part of getting the success you have?" "did you know you wanted to be a boss/manager when you were a kid? No? Oh, you wanted to be…

"SpaceX is a fraud. Its all about control. That's why in the future you'll be eating bugs because it's Greta Thunberg". I am only partly paraphrasing actual conversation with my father in-law. I cannot stress enough that what you think will work here doesn't : literally every topic will be pivoted towards a rant about which groups are destroying the future (all of them), or how it's all a conspiracy or how they are p…

You can lean in to that though. I live in a rural county with 22k people in the entire county.

But you're painting two different pictures as if they are the same. The suited family type and the conspiracy theorist are different people.

Were I to know that I were dealing with a conspiracy theorist, the pivot is "I wish I could pay as little tax as rich people do (knowing fully well that they often pay far more than I do" or "yeah, it's crazy how the rich always abuse the little guy" or "what would you do if you were in their position (the same? ah well, at least it's understandable. Different, there, you see, there are good people like you and I left to fight the fight!) Or, hell, just for funsies you can play Conspiracy Olympics in which you try to outgun and outthink their own wild ideas. "Oh yeah, well 'spacex is a fraud' is exactly what a russian sleeper agent would say!"

I'll admit that there have been a small number of people that I simply could not connect with on any level, but working in non-profits and with volunteers, you get used to people's quirks and figure out how to work with them on their level. And what's more, you'll often end up being considered one of their few friends or even just "one of the good ones in their book" because so many people are just completely dismissive of them because they don't like their ideas.

You're engaging in exactly the kind of behavior that many of them complain about, their "no one cares, everyone's out to get me" mentality is only enforced by your "it is not possible for me to talk to or associate with these people". You are in fact one of the they that is plotting to remove this demographic from your own reality. It is not a stretch for them to imagine that you would prefer that they did not exist.

Kindness is not complicated.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#492

Post by MarkSweep »

brailsafe wrote: post #97
saghm wrote: post #75

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Sure, but when the only reason I had those random moments with strangers were because they wanted them, and refusing to engage is considered "rude", I'd argue that it already was just someone else's "my" experience before, just "shared" because of societal peer pressure. What changed is that now I have a way to actually assert my boundaries without being the rude one.

I think it's a mistake to conflate passive signaling with asserting oneself, and whether you like the interaction you might have otherwise had or not (as long as it's not clearly harassment or something) it would be rude to ignore people in public whether that rudeness is delegated to technology or not. It's just another way of turning up one's nose, and it's a gross way to operate imo. If you don't like the people y…

You say “as long as it's not clearly harassment” as if that is uncommon. Outside of giving directions at train stations, the times when a stranger has started talking to me in public have been almost universally negative. Often times it starts as a friendly conversation before the harassment or begging for money or scamming starts. Other times the people just start out crazy or harassing.

I feel like your conception that “ignoring people either consciously or through technology is rude” makes more sense in higher social trust situations. Like at a party or a bar, where bad actors are less dense and there is an expectation of socializing.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#493

Post by purpleflashing »

abhaynayar wrote: post #440
tacker2000 wrote: post #164

The author is a "Firm believer that humankind took a wrong turn with the invention of the smartphone." and has a new book coming out, so naturally he is trying to push some anti-tech narrative. No, headphones don't make people antisocial. If someone is wearing headphones, respect their privacy and just leave them alone. Some people just don't like to chat to random people on the subway or at the supermarket. Some peo…

I mean what do you want the author to write, cooking recipes? Where is he "pushing" it? Writing a substack related to the theme of the book you're writing is, apparently .. bad? Even if true, are we we not supposed to market things at all. Sure, there's a line after which shilling becomes distasteful, is that really the case here or is it an overreaction?

I can image that because of motivation to sell his ideas and writing, he is in incentivized to sensationalize the research he refers too. Not that the author claims to be a scientific writer but many people find it intellectually dishonest to try to push your opinion and often clever but, ultimately, anecdotal observations about the world via “scientific” language.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#494

Post by exmadscientist »

wvenable wrote: post #487
goodmythical wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's kind of the point the article is making though, isn't it? You're making a choice to insulate yourself from your surroundings. That choice has effects on both you and your environment. You see it as a simple salve, but the poor souls you're choosing to ignore see it as a just another bourgeoisie wall. I used to live in a prison. Headphones were a huge fighting issue. People who couldn't afford them would borrow…

> I can sleep, eat, shower, and meditate just as well in the middle of a deadly riot ... as I can in a forest or a dead silent bed room. You should realize that there are people who can't do that.

Being able to do it in the middle of a riot is, absolutely, a hard-earned skill.

But it is, like so many of these things, a skill. You have to practice it.

I think that putting earbuds in and checking out of the world around you is a really awful thing to do as your default in life. As a "sometimes" thing it's fine, even healthy. There's a lot of talk of public transit in this thread. If people do it during riding transit, and not really at other times, I'm fine with that. But so many people have their earbuds in before they leave their front door, every day, every week, and they don't come back out.

And I think that's really, really unhealthy, for them and for the rest of us.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#495

Post by littlexsparkee »

poncho_romero wrote: post #403
9dev wrote: post #383

Earlier quoted context omitted.

why do you consider yourself an introvert if you enjoy chatting with everyone and everything?

I fit this description too. I consider myself an introvert (that is, more introverted than extroverted; very few people are exclusively one or the other) because I need to be alone to recharge. When my "social battery" is full, I eagerly start conversations with strangers, and even when it is drained I'm comfortable talking to people, though I might not desire to.

It all depends on the subject - I can talk about cooking, climate change, collapse, film for hours. As for sports, gossip, celebrities, I clam up. Ditto for any talk that's status seeking or not curious and bi-directional.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#496

Post by malshe »

purpleflashing wrote: post #484
malshe wrote: post #446

The author is from Germany and still complaining about Americans interacting with each other less in public? I've been to Germany so many times and almost never seen anyone speaking to strangers on trains/buses/trams. Once I was on a train from Cologne to Frankfurt with a colleague and we were talking nonstop. After a while we realized it was just us talking and probably disturbing everyone else! People go to extreme…

Oh god I love how quiet European trains are. I used to take trains a lot in my childhood and until my 20s in Ukraine. Sometimes trains were buzzing with voices during the day, especially if someone was drinking. Not all rides were like this, of course, but in general I remember a lot of noise. German trains are so soothing in comparison!

I find it funny that on some of the ICE trains they have a quiet cabin. To me that’s basically the entire train!

Re: The AirPods Effect

#497

Post by wvenable »

exmadscientist wrote: post #494
wvenable wrote: post #487

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I can sleep, eat, shower, and meditate just as well in the middle of a deadly riot ... as I can in a forest or a dead silent bed room. You should realize that there are people who can't do that.

Being able to do it in the middle of a riot is, absolutely, a hard-earned skill. But it is, like so many of these things, a skill. You have to practice it. I think that putting earbuds in and checking out of the world around you is a really awful thing to do as your default in life. As a "sometimes" thing it's fine, even healthy. There's a lot of talk of public transit in this thread. If people do it during riding tr…

My son, for example, has sensory issues and cannot tune out anything. The "you have to practice it" is like telling a paraplegic that if they just exercise more they'd be able to walk. People are different and have different needs.

> And I think that's really, really unhealthy, for them and for the rest of us.

Or maybe it's not. Maybe the rest of the world is unhealthy and this is a way to reclaim some personal healthiness.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#498

Post by kleiba2 »

I stopped chit-chatting at the water cooler because I have a specific sense of humor that not everybody likes. And by "not likes", I mean the feminist women in my department get offended. Very easily. And because they're women, they hold special power wrt HR. So I just quietly spend my day now.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#499

Post by steve1977 »

abdullahkhalids wrote: post #399
steve1977 wrote: post #144

What I find interesting is that the article seems to imply that wearing earbuds to isolate is somewhat "unnatural" (for lack of a better term). However it does not take into account that the kind of social interactions where people wear earbuds (i.e. loud and busy environments with many strangers, often physically closer than comfortable) is unnatural to begin with. For me, isolating myself acoustically is a way to n…

> (i.e. loud and busy environments with many strangers, often physically closer than comfortable) is unnatural to begin with. What is unnatural about this? We have plenty of anthropological evidence that humans have been doing massive festivals for at least many thousands of years i.e. people voluntarily gathering together with strangers in loud and busy environments with all sorts of sounds and smells.

For one, when and where this was the case, it was probably once a year or so.* Not daily or weekly.

Furthermore, the "voluntarily" bit plays a big role as well. If I were to go to a big festival (as you can guess, I wouldn't), then I guess I would be fine with the people. But that's not the same as commuting IMHO, where I'm together with lots of people involuntarily.

* it's an interesting topic actually, so if you have any sources, I'd like to read them.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#500

Post by cyberpunk »

exhumet wrote: post #258
stndef wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same! To the point that when I'm home I'm usually playing outdoor ambient noise mimicking that. https://moodist.mvze.net/

ooooo thank you for this link!!! its weirdly hard for me to find ones i like on youtube. this huge for me haha

mynoise.net is the GOAT I think :}
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