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The AirPods Effect

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Re: The AirPods Effect

#171

Post by wolvoleo »

exmadscientist wrote: post #45
tptacek wrote: post #5

I don't remember any time in my life where it ever felt normal to me to randomly talk to strangers. I went to London when I was a teenager and was made uncomfortable by how chatty the cab drivers were. Later, I worked at a startup and my boss was preternaturally gifted at chatting up strangers, which he did habitually in every setting we were in when we traveled; on the plane, on the bus from the airport, &c. I remem…

Talking to strangers is a skill. You can practice it! I've made a point of trying to practice, albeit halfheartedly, and even though it's difficult for me, because I like it when other people try to talk to me . Earbuds stop this practice dead in its tracks. You can't deny that.

> Earbuds stop this practice dead in its tracks. You can't deny that.

Yes it's a signal. For you to go find someone else to talk to :)

That doesn't mean I'm antisocial, there's just places where I go to be open to talk to people. Like bars, meetups, stuff like that. And places where I'm just to get from A to B and I don't want to. Usually when I'm in public transport I'm going to/from the office and I'm stressed because I deeply hate working in the office since Corona (no more fixed desks etc). So I need my space.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#172

Post by jorisw »

tacker2000 wrote: post #164

The author is a "Firm believer that humankind took a wrong turn with the invention of the smartphone." and has a new book coming out, so naturally he is trying to push some anti-tech narrative. No, headphones don't make people antisocial. If someone is wearing headphones, respect their privacy and just leave them alone. Some people just don't like to chat to random people on the subway or at the supermarket. Some peo…

I don't think the author presents it as such a binary decision though.

The fact is that in practice, it's either headphones in or out when in public. Meaning wearing them all the time effectively means IRL Do Not Disturb.

> I think we need regular doses of real human contact — not just with close friends, but with acquaintances, and even with strangers — to counterbalance all the negativity we encounter in the news and online, and to remind us that, on the whole, people are kind and well-meaning.

I think the author may have a point here, but he'll be hard pressed to convince anyone to give up the benefits of 'sonic isolation' through music and noise cancelation that people seem to have discovered.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#173

Post by wolvoleo »

GJim wrote: post #154
steve1977 wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would get very irritated by such behavior. One reason I wear earbuds is to signal that I don't want to get talked to.

Have you tried simply telling people you don't want to talk? "Sorry mate, I'm reading" is hardly difficult.

If you're reading it's kinda obvious, and it's pretty annoying to be interrupted.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#174

Post by nicbou »

steve1977 wrote: post #144

What I find interesting is that the article seems to imply that wearing earbuds to isolate is somewhat "unnatural" (for lack of a better term). However it does not take into account that the kind of social interactions where people wear earbuds (i.e. loud and busy environments with many strangers, often physically closer than comfortable) is unnatural to begin with. For me, isolating myself acoustically is a way to n…

Yes! When walking along busy streets, I put my airpods on without music just to remove some of the car noise.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#175

Post by inigyou »

joxdosba wrote: post #123
walrus01 wrote: post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tell me you're an American that lives in a 100% car dependent community without coming right out and saying it. Say no more, we get it.

Am European, at least in the big cities, public transport is mostly not worth using unless you are too poor to afford better options. Too crowded, too hot, there’s a decent chance of arriving at your destination drenched in sweat. Not to mention how absolutely gross the people sitting next to you will often be. I’ll happily take a few parking fines every day rather than getting in the tube.

Nobody uses it, it's too crowded

Re: The AirPods Effect

#176

Post by csomar »

tptacek wrote: post #5

I don't remember any time in my life where it ever felt normal to me to randomly talk to strangers. I went to London when I was a teenager and was made uncomfortable by how chatty the cab drivers were. Later, I worked at a startup and my boss was preternaturally gifted at chatting up strangers, which he did habitually in every setting we were in when we traveled; on the plane, on the bus from the airport, &c. I remem…

The trick to talking to strangers, in my experience, is to find an opportune moment where you have a reason to talk to them (ie: you are both looking at the same departure timetable and you ask about a particular train/flight). The response will determine whether the stranger is open to carrying on a conversation. Of course, if their presence in the shared space is short, this makes it harder as these opportunities are not always present.

Smoking is probably the best lubricant (ie: borrowing a lighter, asking about a brand/vape, etc.) and people when they smoke are usually more open to strike a conversation. That's not an endorsement of smoking (and I've quit very recently).

Re: The AirPods Effect

#177

Post by wolvoleo »

jorisw wrote: post #125

> Where I live, in southwest Germany, AirPods are far less common. FWIW I live in Amsterdam (also western Europe) and anyone in the streets under 50 is wearing them, myself included. > They keep them in while ordering and paying for things in stores and supermarkets. As a GenYer I find this rude and I'll take them out any time I interact with someone. My point being that their ubiquity doesn't have to mean people bei…

Yeah I take them out too. The only exception is ear protectors (loops) which I wear in discoteques/parties. When I talk to people I don't usually take them out because I wear them for protection. If they notice I will explain and they don't mind.

In fact it's easier to hear them with those in anyway. I'm just very sensitive to sound and I have already damaged my hearing a bit when I was young.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#178

Post by kdheiwns »

norome wrote: post #138
exmadscientist wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Talking to strangers is a skill. You can practice it! I've made a point of trying to practice, albeit halfheartedly, and even though it's difficult for me, because I like it when other people try to talk to me . Earbuds stop this practice dead in its tracks. You can't deny that.

I just pretend I haven't noticed they have earbuds in and start talking to them. Virtually everyone seems happy to have an interaction, I get the feeling people are a bit starved for random friendly contact.

I don't wear AirPods/headphones of any sort in public but I don't like talking to strangers while out and about and get very uncomfortable since it's almost always someone trying to get something from me.

But every time someone does randomly talk to me, I smile and laugh and I'm very cordial. Because people who approach strangers generally get quite angry when they're outright shot down. That doesn't at all mean I'm happy to talk. A smile is often just a defensive response.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#179

Post by embedding-shape »

nicbou wrote: post #174
steve1977 wrote: post #144

What I find interesting is that the article seems to imply that wearing earbuds to isolate is somewhat "unnatural" (for lack of a better term). However it does not take into account that the kind of social interactions where people wear earbuds (i.e. loud and busy environments with many strangers, often physically closer than comfortable) is unnatural to begin with. For me, isolating myself acoustically is a way to n…

Yes! When walking along busy streets, I put my airpods on without music just to remove some of the car noise.

I do the same when visiting large metropolitan areas! I don't want to be completely deaf, but reducing all the high-pitched noises and rumbling really makes my perception see/hear the environment more calmly.

Re: The AirPods Effect

#180

Post by wolvoleo »

HDBaseT wrote: post #47
walrus01 wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In a really big and busy city it's emotionally exhausting and not reasonable to have an interaction with everyone near you. The only way a lot of people can tolerate being packed into busy public transit systems on a daily basis is to intentionally ignore each other to a certain degree. It's essentially the same unspoken etiquette rule as what you're socially expected to do if riding a crowded elevator. Go commute by…

and people still try and suggest public transport is great, when its a hellhole..

It's not. I really like public transport. It is cheap (I pay 22 euros a month unlimited), I can do something I like like reading or watching something. I don't have to worry about when my parking expires or having to return to a car. It's pretty ideal IMO.

You do have to ignore the people around yes but I don't find that a problem at all.

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