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Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

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Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#491

Post by delbronski »

joshmoody24 wrote: post #478
delbronski wrote: post #269

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I too read the book in my younger years, and it helped me a lot with making friends and my career. However, the book itself is filled with some terrible advice for communicating with people. I realized that as an older person. But as a young person it filled me much needed confidence. Like many of these books, the actual advice is crap, but I think it gives people the confidence they need to change something in their…

As someone who has listened to this If Books Could Kill episode and read the actual book, I think the podcast is mostly looking for problems where there aren't any. Despite the book's sleazy title ("influence people") it's mostly just basic, innocent social advice.

The core advice of the book is to smile, flatter, avoid all criticism, and feign “genuine” interest. People can sense this performance from a mile away. It is a dated, salesy, conflict-averse (to the point of dishonesty) way of communicating. It is too surface-level to address real, sustained relationships.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#492

Post by keybored »

digitaltrees wrote: post #479
keybored wrote: post #463

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the laugh wizard of Metta.

You shouldn't laugh off the recommendation. That is a good book. I haven't read it personally but it affected my life deeply. My wife and I both grew up in physically violent homes. My mom read that book and taught me and my siblings the lessons along with others. And my children have only ever experienced shouting or physical violence when they went to their grandparents house. I understand you were using that phras…

Thank you for a thoughtful reply. To my reading you demonstrate that you listened, even though I didn’t give you much to work with considering my curt[1] comments, and these resources look helpful.

But I don’t understand the problem with this phrase. Maybe it’s an ESL (second lang.) issue, because I have only read one author that I recall that has used this phrase (poverty of stimulus?). But to my mind it isn’t even hyperbole. It’s just an expression saying “I am on my guard now”. Which means that you are skeptical, maybe even cynical. Yes, the immediate interpretation is that someone is reaching for their holster—not to shoot but to anticipate an ambush. But even that is just, you know, colorful in this context. In this context I am intending to express that I am skeptical. Not that someone is trying to fool me. But I am on guard against just taking someone’s experiences at face value; that their lifeworld is such-and-such is not even under debate, that is fine and no one is doubting that. What is under doubt in this context is what the proverbial room looked like when only one out of five people reported on it. Does that make sense?

[1] in sense 1(a) according to Merriam Webster

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#493

Post by brettermeier »

goobatrooba wrote: post #481
gorfian_robot wrote: post #447

Earlier quoted context omitted.

idk. it helped me fix my washing machine.

But that's a concretey very well scoped problem with a clear truth state. Anything mental has none of these properties. Ask an AI if you have depression or another disorder, and keep asking with more details and back and forth, and a few hours later you might be convinced.

Ask that a book... Better?

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#494

Post by mettamage »

keybored wrote: post #492
digitaltrees wrote: post #479

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You shouldn't laugh off the recommendation. That is a good book. I haven't read it personally but it affected my life deeply. My wife and I both grew up in physically violent homes. My mom read that book and taught me and my siblings the lessons along with others. And my children have only ever experienced shouting or physical violence when they went to their grandparents house. I understand you were using that phras…

Thank you for a thoughtful reply. To my reading you demonstrate that you listened, even though I didn’t give you much to work with considering my curt[1] comments, and these resources look helpful. But I don’t understand the problem with this phrase. Maybe it’s an ESL (second lang.) issue, because I have only read one author that I recall that has used this phrase (poverty of stimulus?). But to my mind it isn’t even…

Makes sense.

> But to my mind it isn’t even hyperbole. It’s just an expression saying “I am on my guard now”.

I'm Dutch, so English is a second language. I started at 7.

To me it comes across as hyperbole or something literal. Maybe different for native English speakers. Though I haven't heard my American family in law using it. And they say, to take some inspiration from you, all kinds of colorful things and I'd expect them to say stuff like this.

I don't live in the US with my wife though, so maybe I didn't have enough interactions with them. I will ask her.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#495

Post by mettamage »

digitaltrees wrote: post #479
keybored wrote: post #463

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thanks for the laugh wizard of Metta.

You shouldn't laugh off the recommendation. That is a good book. I haven't read it personally but it affected my life deeply. My wife and I both grew up in physically violent homes. My mom read that book and taught me and my siblings the lessons along with others. And my children have only ever experienced shouting or physical violence when they went to their grandparents house. I understand you were using that phras…

> That is a good book.

I remember I had a bit of a relationship crisis with someone. Just learning the 10 min. TL;DR of a good friend of mine who was well versed in it helped a ton. Later I read it twice.

Sometimes I think I can get away with and flow on intuition. In tense conversations that sometimes go sideways and then I notice I have to use this way of communicating in order to keep things from not spiraling out of control and ultimately resolve things.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#496

Post by frgturpwd »

llm_nerd wrote: post #381

While it's easy to be cynical and see this as everything getting worse somehow, monetizing a simple idea or premise is tough -- I mean, loads of people just put that stuff out there in comments on social media, blog posts, etc, and move on -- so people fluff it up with endless volumes of filler to justify charging a price for it. Self-help as a domain is absolutely stuffed with this sort of behaviour, where 300 pages…

I agree with everything you are saying, especially as someone whose main goal behind going into content is to understand, and have agreed with it for so long, and in my attempt to understand - ever since I was young - what people get from self-help books, I realized something. I do believe this - our - perspective neglects the difference between reading to "get a complex premise", and reading/watching something simple as some sort of lengthy ritual to get you to marinate on the idea and to allow yourself enough time to "change". Those 300 pages have the benefit of making you "stay with the idea" for however long reading 300 pages takes you, and that's what people who are into self-help like. Being persuaded.

That said, a lot of it is really filler.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#497

Post by keybored »

adaml_623 wrote: post #300
keybored wrote: post #282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I reach for my revolver when someone says that they are a better leader. That might mean that they have a captive audience of sycophants. The outdated sense of leader of the willingly lead is a different matter.

Tell us about this good leader concept and why you think it's outdated? Is it just uncommon? And why can't you believe someone's statement about themselves? How is it different to saying they're a good runner?

Thank you for demonstrating leadership on this topic. Maybe that illustrates the point.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#498

Post by dzonga »

ransom1538 wrote: post #67
curuinor wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Dale Carnegie created it, Tim Ferriss is a century too late to point as origin.

Dale Carnegie -> Jim Rohn -> Tony Robbins -> [all hacks now]

people in tech i.e engineers discount sales - but damn the book by Caldini - Influence & Jim Rohn In terms of sales training - help a lot.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#499

Post by senordevnyc »

lstodd wrote: post #482
senordevnyc wrote: post #459

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, because the PhDs in those fields famously have their lives all figured out and are extremely happy and successful at everything.

It's your life. To the left there is the tank for those like you. Please jump.

lol, seems like people struck a nerve. I’d assume all your study would have given you more equanimity. Might be time for a self help book.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#500

Post by KellyCriterion »

myaccountonhn wrote: post #355
digitaltrees wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hard disagree. I have read lots of books, participated in events and training seminars and had profound results in my life. My marriage is better because of what I learned, I am a better father and leader because of what I learned. And the fact that people sell things as part of that growth journey is how they support their ability to share the lessons and techniques.

Self-help books are so often ridiculued, and that ridicule is often well merited. At the same time there was a self-help book that basically gave me a whole different outlook on life, and cured my depression over night. So I can't deny they have a place and can really help people.

> and cured my depression over night.

Which book is it?

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