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Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

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Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#251

Post by digitaltrees »

sanswork wrote: post #185
rfc3092 wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please share “better father” books.

The self driven child was one I just finished 2 weeks ago that I really enjoyed and felt had a lot of good advice that ran counter to my natural tendencies. The How to talk books(there are a few of them for different ages), no drama discipline. Cal Newports books while not specifically about parenting have helped me with disconnecting more from my tech which has always been a challenge since it's my job and a part of…

Thanks for the recs. I’ll check them out. I am reading “How to raise humans” right now. Not far enough in to have an opinion yet.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#253

Post by digitaltrees »

frankosaurus wrote: post #230
AnimalMuppet wrote: post #184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Here's the problem: You can be a bad father by being too strict, or you can be a bad father by being too lenient. In Zion National Park there's a hike called Angel's Landing. You wind up on this ridge, with a 1000 foot cliff on one side and a 500 foot cliff on the other side. And the ridge is not very wide - only a couple of feet in some places. Parenting is like that. You think, oh, I see people causing problems by…

Well stated. I read Nurture Shock before my kids were born. One of its main arguments is to praise effort rather than natural abilities ("you worked hard" rather than "you're smart"). Being one who naturally withholds praise, its message of not over-praising resonated with me. In retrospect, I should have praised kid #1 more. It took me 10+ years to realize that. The book was not wrong but also not the message I need…

I am definitely of the same generation. I notice my mom will praise my kid’s intelligence while we praise their effort. But I’ve definitely noticed my son responds to praise about ability more than my daughter and likely would appreciate more praise than her.

What did you notice and what were the consequences of the strategy of praise. I’d like to learn from your experience.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#254

Post by vincnetas »

murkt wrote: post #226
rfc3092 wrote: post #182

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Please share “better father” books.

“Never Split the Difference”, which is a book about how to successfully communicate with terrorists. Very suitable for talking with kids! I’ve even read aloud a few chapters to my kids, because it’s very suitable for communication with parents as well

Read AI summary what “Never Split the Difference” is about. And its a bit scary that you think its suitable for talking with kids. Its pure manipulation technique. If you need to do this to your its most likely you were unable to create a real connection with them before.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#255

Post by timwis »

noveltyaccount wrote: post #139

I have read countless self help books where I complained about fluffy filler material and the book should have been fifty pages instead of two hundred. Not a surprise to me that a topic distilled through an LLM is a better experience.

Came here to say the same thing. How could the author possibly illustrate the point of the book without at least 4 case studies and a reference to prehistoric humans?

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#256

Post by AussieWog93 »

K0balt wrote: post #238
ragequittah wrote: post #219

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>it's solely because that book made me more likable and personable. This is the part that gets me to have an almost allergic reaction. It feels like an almost homogenization of people's personalities. In my mind I picture it like this: business man A reads How to Win Friends and Influence People. Businessman B also reads it. Business man A meets B and see that they're doing the psychological tricks of the book and th…

Except that is not what the book teaches at all. Sometimes people can’t take the advice of “just be a better person and care about other people” unless it’s explained to them more specifically and anchored to their goals. It’s not because they are inauthentic, it’s because they are lacking skills and understanding.

I actually crashed out semi-recently about this exact thing, quit church and all and was genuinely surprised when the people who were speaking politeley to me reached out in a genuine, non-public and non-coerced way.

I don't think the word "inauthentic" quite captures why people react negatively to this sort of communication.

At least part of it comes from the fact that this particular style of "kindness-is-cool-coded" (for lack of a better word) communication happens to be the preferred style of insanely passive-aggressive people who take it upon themselves to brutally sabotage anyone who they deem unacceptable. It can also feel like you're being lead on by someone who actively dislikes you but is too polite to say it. Or you just start second-guessing every single thing they say and do.

But honestly, there's a pretty sizable minority of people who are repelled by this type of person and if you're naturally bad at reading the room you're probably better off making friends with other people that say and do dumb things.

I know I went through a "How to Win Friends and Influence People" phase when younger and basically ended up just putting off a whole of people.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#257

Post by digitaltrees »

ragequittah wrote: post #219
randycupertino wrote: post #207

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How to Win Friends and Influence People helped my career a ton. I stopped having to job search and started getting pulled up as people I knew from work advanced they would bring me with them. I haven't had to job hunt in 9 years and it's solely because that book made me more likable and personable. It made me enjoy life more too, because I have a diaspora of cool and interesting connections who would go to bat for me…

>it's solely because that book made me more likable and personable. This is the part that gets me to have an almost allergic reaction. It feels like an almost homogenization of people's personalities. In my mind I picture it like this: business man A reads How to Win Friends and Influence People. Businessman B also reads it. Business man A meets B and see that they're doing the psychological tricks of the book and th…

I would reframe the question you’re asking. Instead of assuming that the interaction with business man A and B is fake, that it’s done for an ulterior motive, that it requires being inauthentic and suppressing your personality, all of which isn’t part of what makes people connect to each other ask “but did they enjoy the experience and make a friend”. There are known interactions patterns that result in people connecting to each other. If you want to connect with others learn how to.

And the book “the game” isn’t an example of that skill. People that follow those techniques find out quickly that they end up destroying the connections they make really quickly.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#258

Post by mcmoor »

vld_chk wrote: post #119
__alexander wrote: post #50

Personally, I see the self-help industry dying because people are starting to realize that it’s just a network of individuals selling products, promoting each other’s products, and creating new avenues to sell more products. I refer to it as the “self-help mafia.” Tim Ferriss kind of created it.

I do not have data, but from first glance, if anything, the overall demand for self-help and self-improvement increases Y/Y. We can correlate it with a sharp drop in alcohol sales, or raising revenues of therapy industry or fitness industry. YT and podcasts still looming too. But the form of books … Yes, by some reason it collapses. I personally attribute it not to “people realise those guys are salesmen”, but with t…

I'm curious how correlated they are to decline of books in general

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#259

Post by throwaway27448 »

__alexander wrote: post #50

Personally, I see the self-help industry dying because people are starting to realize that it’s just a network of individuals selling products, promoting each other’s products, and creating new avenues to sell more products. I refer to it as the “self-help mafia.” Tim Ferriss kind of created it.

Is this really a new revelation?

Anyway, "self help" is still one of the largest sections at my local barnes and noble—certainly by far the largest non-fiction section.

Re: Has AI already killed self-help nonfiction books?

#260

Post by runako »

Fantosism wrote: post #246
murkt wrote: post #226

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Never Split the Difference”, which is a book about how to successfully communicate with terrorists. Very suitable for talking with kids! I’ve even read aloud a few chapters to my kids, because it’s very suitable for communication with parents as well

I mean this with the purest intentions. I've read Never Split the Difference, Never Eat Alone, Getting More, How to Win Friends and Influence People, etc. How do you get it to feel like it's not manipulation? I get all of these books advertise not to lie, but at the end of the day, I'm reshaping my speech to achieve a certain goal, rather than to convey facts. The best line I've come up with is something like: am I s…

> I'm reshaping my speech to achieve a certain goal, rather than to convey facts.

When communicating, you don't simply recite every datum you know. You edit, you choose facts to communicate a specific set of points. Those points themselves are not random; they are in service of helping you achieve some goal (to get someone to laugh, or to get someone to do/not do something, or to change someone's opinion of you, to make someone feel comfortable, to get a person to bond with you, or whatever).

> am I serving the other person's actual interests

This is the key.

> would I be fine with them seeing exactly what I'm doing

See my first paragraph. Nobody thinks you are reciting facts at random when you talk to them. QED to the extent anyone thinks about it, they understand that you are trying to advance some agenda (drop the connotation on that word). Because this is how human communication works.

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