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Firewood Splitting Simulator

screen.toys

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Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#171

Post by telesilla »

CamouflagedKiwi wrote: post #112

This is kinda fun, but doesn't match most of my experience splitting firewood. The wood barely moves after it's split. If you split it perfectly, the two halves will almost certainly both fall to each side (they're pushed outwards by the axe). You can't just randomly split it across the grain into slices like you're slicing bread. I guess mostly: it's not tiring, which sort of sucks when you're doing it for real, but…

As someone who spent a teenagehood doing the same, I agree it was far too (un)satisfying to be able to cut the pieces and not having them fall to the side. But if you have an excellent axe and true flat surface you could get pretty close to the game. But for better reality it needs more indication of splinters and blisters after a few runs. I suggest adding a cast iron wedge splitter as a next level option.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#172

Post by bluGill »

mauvehaus wrote: post #141
bee_rider wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If the hydraulic splitter could be electric, so it would not be so loud, I could see that task being meditative. Preferably if the rounds could on a raised platform, so they could just be rolled onto the thing. Next request, the wood could stack itself somehow.

Vertical splitters are better since the splitter comes down to ground level where your rounds already are. Much less lifting. I'm not super quick with a maul, but I can pretty easily keep up with the hydraulic splitter I've used. The hydraulic splitter is nice for the ones that have really gnarly, interlocked grain.

Until you get a log so tough, it just stalls up when you draw a splitter. Happened more than once. Usually the log is stuck so far in the wedge you can't get it off either.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#173

Post by Theodores »

helterskelter wrote: post #136
CamouflagedKiwi wrote: post #112

This is kinda fun, but doesn't match most of my experience splitting firewood. The wood barely moves after it's split. If you split it perfectly, the two halves will almost certainly both fall to each side (they're pushed outwards by the axe). You can't just randomly split it across the grain into slices like you're slicing bread. I guess mostly: it's not tiring, which sort of sucks when you're doing it for real, but…

There's a surprising amount of technique and knowledge that goes into splitting firewood. It isn't rocket science, but I know a 75 year old who can chop wood faster than any young guy who works out at the gym.

In former times you had to serve a twelve year apprenticeship before you could be trusted to split wood for barrels, you can do a PhD in rocket science in less time.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#174

Post by Timwi »

binoct wrote: post #59
bicx wrote: post #50

People here seem a little confused. This is a simulator in the same way Goat Simulator is a simulator. It’s from a collection called “screen toys” and it’s meant to be mindless fun.

Here here. This was a joy to wake up to and wish I hadn’t stumbled into the comments.

For future reference, the phrase is “hear, hear”.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#175

Post by sowbug »

binoct wrote: post #59
bicx wrote: post #50

People here seem a little confused. This is a simulator in the same way Goat Simulator is a simulator. It’s from a collection called “screen toys” and it’s meant to be mindless fun.

Here here. This was a joy to wake up to and wish I hadn’t stumbled into the comments.

Then you're really going to love this.

The proper term is a shortened form of "hear him, hear him," which was necessary because British Parliament didn't allow clapping or cheering. Instead, if you wanted to show agreement with a speaker's point, you'd shout out that everyone else should "hear" him.

Not to be confused with "hear ye," which evolved from the French "oyez," which is the imperative form of "to listen," which was shouted at a crowd before an important announcement.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#178

Post by bluGill »

dylan604 wrote: post #85
dredmorbius wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And the fireplace / stove. Most open-hearth fireplaces are tremendously inefficient, not only sending most of the heat up the chimney, but drawing in additional cold air in doing so. A masonry stove with an external air draw should be far more efficient, and burn much more cleanly to boot. The pollution factor from woodstoves is another major consideration, and means wood-burning is limited in many areas.

My dad and his father built the house my family grew up in. The fireplace had two vents on either side of the fire box that drew air from the floor and vented near the ceiling. The ceiling fans in the room would circulate the air in the room. It was the only place I've spent time that a fireplace actually was useful.

When those work well they're fine but be very careful. It's not uncommon of for smoke to go out what you think is the in intake and often those aren't correctly built as a chimney and so you can burn your house down.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#179

Post by lbreakjai »

MatthiasWandel wrote: post #119
embedding-shape wrote: post #88

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I had to ruin one perfectly good axe handle before I learned how to swing. Is it really that difficult? Maybe my memory is vague, but chopping wood in autumn/fall for the winter just took a bunch of time, and wasn't very fun, but wasn't that bad, especially compared to other things like harvesting veggies stuff where you have to be on the ground. I'm not sure how you'd manage to ruin a axe handle before understandi…

I once took a sledgehammer to work so everyone could take a turn taking a whack at some old prototypes outside. I came to the sad realization that even hitting a particular spot with a sledgehammer is not an inate skill. If you've never done it, you miss!

I've seen people miss the tractor wheel with a hammer at my gym. I didn't even know if was physically possible.

Re: Firewood Splitting Simulator

#180

Post by gaudystead »

CyLith wrote: post #149
CamouflagedKiwi wrote: post #112

This is kinda fun, but doesn't match most of my experience splitting firewood. The wood barely moves after it's split. If you split it perfectly, the two halves will almost certainly both fall to each side (they're pushed outwards by the axe). You can't just randomly split it across the grain into slices like you're slicing bread. I guess mostly: it's not tiring, which sort of sucks when you're doing it for real, but…

You missed the best part: analyzing what to do around knots. There's a skill and artistry to it. Those who are good at it make it look absolutely effortless: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsIFvStf9Oz99GMitW4vD_g

For anyone reading the above comment and wanting to see what the commenter might be referring to, here is the first YT video I found on that channel that is relatively brief but has an example of the techniques involved:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=G_QZIGVYX_4

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