this plead somehow hits all the wrong notes and reinforces why they're in this situation to begin with, i still hope the author finds their footing, but it won't come without some soul searching
Social Animus
31–40 of 131 posts
Re: Social Animus
#32I've read this type of writing before, and I associate it strongly with manic episodes and autistic hyper fixation.
It veers from topic to topic with abrupt transitions, developing tenuous threads to support perceived grievances and slights, and every once in a while goes fully off the hinges.
There are delusions of grandeur -- "One of the issues I have is that I'm so popular on Hacker News that people there don't criticize me so much these days, even when I'm wrong" -- and an apparent obliviousness to their redflagginess that is so extreme it almost feels like satire ("A few days ago, I got served with a tax warrant from the State of New York. They believe I didn't pay taxes in 2018 and they want an amount of money that's more than twice my current yearly income").
And after paragraph after paragraph of a sob story, the request for money is presented with perhaps the most bizarre pitch I can imagine: Donate your money to me so that I can live a lifestyle you could never yourself afford.
I don't know about this person's particular mental health struggles, but it does not come off as an essay by a person who is in a good place right now.
Re: Social Animus
#33 the locus of thought for llama.cpp has always been on 4chan
I actually developed migraines for the first time in my life and ended up in the hospital... due to the eye strain of reading unfiltered thoughts about me for months.
and since llamafile is an ex nihilo project that I worked on for six years
I even wrote a blog post giving Slaren more credit, because it instilled in him a false sense of confidence that led him to tackle harder problems, like multiplying three dimensional numbers.
Hacker News is my favorite place on the web, because it's the last bastion of curiosity online.
This upset the moderator so much... because he had already banned me for spamming... So this became the day Lobsters also banned my domain, so that no one else could post my articles.
The first thing he did with his enormous wealth and power is share his animus towards trans people and I got fired for performance reasons around that time.
A few days ago, I got served with a tax warrant from the State of New York... This is what it's been like living in California for the last ten years.
I am the intersection of so many unliked groups whose minds I've come to understand. If you were to use bayesian inference to compute the probability that I'm a good person, it would underflow a double. In practice, this just means I'm a curious person who hasn't had much to fear, since I've never had much to lose. If the day should ever come when society chooses to accept me, then the negative attention I've received will be viewed for what it really was, and then people will be able to safely examine my lifelong track record of kindness and conspicuous public service.
I want to start by using the money to buy myself a home in San Francisco, in a neighborhood where I can feel safe, so that I can have a bed, set up a real office, entertain guests, and take photographs. I want to travel around the world and experience the cosmopolitan lifestyle my project is named after, using only private aviation, so that I won't be molested or risk being detained each time I fly. I want to hire an elite team that can help me accomplish my social and technical goals, such as adding native support for my file format to every operating system.
P.S. describing your open source work as "my" isn't great.
Your support will upset everyone who feels that I don't deserve the gift of life.
Re: Social Animus
#34the locus of thought for llama.cpp has always been on 4chan TIL! I actually developed migraines for the first time in my life and ended up in the hospital... due to the eye strain of reading unfiltered thoughts about me for months. A) is that how eye strain works? and B) if you've ever attracted the ire of 4chan degens, please don't read them. There's 0 benefit and a long, long list of downsides. and since llamafile…
Wait, is she legit a Trump supporter? I see stuff about praising various tech lords but haven't seen anything saying she supports Trump.
Re: Social Animus
#35I feel like it is a very great privilege to be able to post this to Hacker News, soliciting donations. I was out of work for the longest time (thankfully, I finally found some). I too have disadvantages, I have a few mental disorders which make living not the easiest and the world is not made for people who are different in any way. I've contributed to HN in the past, have plenty of stuff on Github but I do not have…
I feel like it is a very great privilege to be able to post this to Hacker News, soliciting donations.
Re: Social Animus
#36the locus of thought for llama.cpp has always been on 4chan TIL! I actually developed migraines for the first time in my life and ended up in the hospital... due to the eye strain of reading unfiltered thoughts about me for months. A) is that how eye strain works? and B) if you've ever attracted the ire of 4chan degens, please don't read them. There's 0 benefit and a long, long list of downsides. and since llamafile…
Wait, is she legit a Trump supporter? I see stuff about praising various tech lords but haven't seen anything saying she supports Trump.
Fair, I should caveat that heavily! She linked to a thread on the Linux forums (?) where that accusation was leveled by a few people using their real names, but I didn't do that research myself. I've never heard of this person, so that's not from previous knowledge either.
I'll say this: given that and the top comment under this very post, I think it's undeniable that Justine has certain very conservative views that differ greatly from the tolerance and acceptance that is A) the default in professional online spaces, and B) implied by raising money by citing transphobia. *I have no first-hand evidence that she literally directly supports Trump though, and my sincere apologies if I was misled on that point.*
Clearly she's soured on them at the least tho, given the complaints about the transphobia of the 'current US government' in this post.
Re: Social Animus
#37> Right now my only source of income is the $15k/year I got by being one of the top 300 GitHub users globally. That puts me in the 99.9997th percentile of open source developers (based off GitHub's 100 million monthly active user count). What it means is that I'm uniquely able to convert your money into the largest amount of value for society. I want to start by using the money to buy myself a home in San Francisco,…
It reads very manic.
Re: Social Animus
#38This post resonates with my situation very much, although I have not made even a tiny fraction of the contributions this person has. I think if a person like this is struggling to find work, but the donkeys who code my government's dysfunctional websites are all fully employed, it suggests the software industry is in very big trouble. That being said, and speaking from my own experience, one can develop ego problems…
> I think if a person like this is struggling to find work, but the donkeys who code my government's dysfunctional websites are all fully employed, it suggests the software industry is in very big trouble. I don’t think so. I think what happens is that people believe in meritocracy or karma or universal justice. Generally, one cannot rely on that. You make one mistake and then another and you are out, no matter how m…
Every time I get my rock to the top I put another sticker on it.
Re: Social Animus
#39This post resonates with my situation very much, although I have not made even a tiny fraction of the contributions this person has. I think if a person like this is struggling to find work, but the donkeys who code my government's dysfunctional websites are all fully employed, it suggests the software industry is in very big trouble. That being said, and speaking from my own experience, one can develop ego problems…
> I think if a person like this is struggling to find work, but the donkeys who code my government's dysfunctional websites are all fully employed, it suggests the software industry is in very big trouble. I don’t think so. I think what happens is that people believe in meritocracy or karma or universal justice. Generally, one cannot rely on that. You make one mistake and then another and you are out, no matter how m…
Can’t even write the word “suicide” without having so self censor
What freedom indeed!
Re: Social Animus
#40Reading this feels like stepping into two different conversations already in progress.
If you know whats going on, could you link to em? Somewhat similar to you, I also got the sense that this was a pointed response/positioning to some controversy. Not because I have any clue whats going on (I dont), but just cuz it pattern-matched with the style/tone of a PR statement.
I get the impression nobody, outside maybe the author, has a good clue on what's going on here.