> The implication that I don't know what I'm looking at, or that I don't know what security is (despite having a clean track record for about 15 years now) was a bit aggravating.
I'm a security geek, a clean track record means much less to me than anyone would expect. The comment from the article mentioning that there was no evidence of exploitation explains why. I would never have noticed that implication, because I don't think it exists. (And it's completely unreasonable if it does), so that's your own deal... it's not a good conclusion to take from the article.
The only thing that matters is how much any given owner cares. Are they willing to go the extra mile to make sure things get done correctly. That's the best signal about if you can trust a project. Seems like you give a shit, so I wouldn't be too hard on yourself. The people that matter can tell, (everyone who can't tell is already willing to lie so they can be safely ignored!)
> In fact, even months later, the lasting effects have been panicking over anything that is remotely suspicious. The most recent example was just a few days ago. Had just gotten on the plane to go on vacation when someone Liked the original "I've been pwned" post on Bluesky. I misread the notification as being a new message to me saying "You've been pwned" and started to panick.
You haven't dealt with it yet, if you want to get your attention back so you can spend it on more important things than worrying about something from the past, you gotta talk to somebody. A therapist would help the fastest, but friends and family are often just as good.
> I'd have had no way to address it and it would have ruined the small chance per year I get to have a break.
Seriously, having been there myself it's not worth it... you're just allowing them to DoS your brain by allowing them to live rent free in your head. The only thing that matters is how seriously you take the remediation. Attention to detail, and the willingness to go the extra mile for security defects to tie up all loose ends is what matters. It's not your job to fix everybody's issue yourself, even if they don't or can't. You still have to enjoy life, or you burn out, and some idiot that doesn't care will take your place. Then they really win.
You're not responsible for the security or stability of anybody using nightly packages. (Only maintainer signed and tagged releases)
> The attack last year wasn't me misunderstanding security. It was the sum of many, many small things
so, a misunderstanding of how the little things actually impact security?
> (my history with and perception of npm especially w.r.t. their security posture and poor outreach over the years, being stressed out overall, and being in a rush at that particular moment, and a few other personal things) coming together in a perfect storm that resulted in the attack.
Those other personal things are the kinda thin that being able to enjoy a vacation make much easier. You can't help anybody if you don't put on your own mask first... Well... You definitely can, you're obviously trying to do now, but it's needless harder.
Npm, and the JavaScript ecosystem is a fucking joke. It's a mistake to blame yourself (or any maintainer) for how difficult it is to meet the bar for both security and accessibility. Worrying about the difficulty in consistentenly demonstrating the perfection required for security is a fool's errand, and your allowing the bad guys to get what they want by letting it live rent free in your head, it won't go away for as long as you worry about it more than you talk about it.
And I say all of that as the person who has multiple times, made the argument that it's perfectly fine to name an engineer and their decisions or incompetence as the root cause analysis in an official incident report. (Pilot Error is a thing): If I thought you were responsible, or had done anything wrong, I'd gladly blame you. Smart people don't care about mistakes, because they are always noise in the signal. I care about effort. People who give a shit are much more important and valuable.