Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

bbc.com

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

31–40 of 109 posts

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#31

Post by binary132 »

lumost wrote: post #14
rahidz wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

According to the article: "It's not that modern parents are waking up more often. Work by Samson and others has found that people in hunter-gatherer societies usually wake more frequently through the night than we do." But I think there's a difference between waking up at night because your baby is crying, calming them down, going back to sleep, etc etc. when you have a 9-to-5 job, versus if you're a hunter-gatherer.

The 9-5 is doing a major part of that comment. Irregular sleep isn’t the end of the world if you can sleep in and recover. Modern parents don’t get a chance to recover.

To be fair, if you have other kids you don’t exactly get to just sleep in and recover either.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#32

Post by pizzafeelsright »

adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

You got two 'village' responses which I fully disagree with because a dozen reasons. The village is not going to help you change diapers, feed the children, or do anything except have the children play together.

I do not find parenting that difficult because I parent differently.

The alternative: Teach them to entertain themselves. They clean up their own messes. I have the kiddos do tasks with me. Babies are easy enough, toddlers need limited stuff to do as it is all about novelty. Kids 5+ can learn to entertain themselves with their talents, siblings, neighbors.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#33

Post by protocolture »

wiseowise wrote: post #6

[flagged]

>> Although sleep duration increased after an all-time low at three months, neither parent had fully recovered their pre-pregnancy sleep after six years.

>Another reason to not have kids.

I was working nights before my kiddo came along, and I cant tell whether it was working in another timezone that ruined my sleep or he did. Either way, its not likely to ever come back.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#34

Post by gchamonlive »

adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

> The modern model is totally unsustainable/not scalable, but I'm not sure what the alternative should be.

It's by design. Kids don't produce capital for the elites. We peasants aren't supposed to have kids, just waste away grinding so that those in power can accumulate more power, because they can pay others and have as many kids as they want, but we from the middle class will struggle with one or two. It's a form of indirect classist populational control enforced by purchase power.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#35

Post by pitched »

phoronixrly wrote: post #17
andrepd wrote: post #10

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> On average, the German study, which looked at nearly 40,000 people in total, found that parents who had at least one child under six years old reported sleeping about seven hours per night. Non-parents received just 10 minutes more sleep per night, for women, and 14 minutes more per night, for men. I'll trade 15 minutes of sleep for a lifetime of joy, thank you :)

A person's definition of a 'lifetime of joy' may exclude caring for children.

A lifetime is a long time. Much longer than children are children.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#36

Post by glitchc »

adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

I feel your pain. Parenting is exhausting, especially the first two years or so. Hang in there, it gets a lot better. Lowering standards also helps (Does the house really need to be that clean? Does the toddler need a bath every day?)

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#37

Post by tetromino_ »

jleyank wrote: post #29

I didn’t see ages mentioned, but in the past, parents were probably 16-22 while today’s parents could be as old as 40+. The pieces work way better at those earlier ages, and aside from nutrition the ancient times let to more physically fit individuals. Hell, the average age of parents today might be the average lifespan of people back then.

Mothers in the ancient past started at age 16-22 (note that fathers' ages at first child were extremely variable depending on the ancient culture in question) but then kept going giving birth every few years until age 40+. (Or until they died from childbirth complications, famine, disease, etc.)

Please take a look at the very thorough demographic analysis of the ancient peasant class at https://acoup.blog/2025/08/08/collections-life-work-death-an...

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#38

Post by binary132 »

lotsofpulp wrote: post #25
adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

>but I'm not sure what the alternative should be. A village where trusted neighbors and family members and a chain of kids in increasing ages can help look after each other.

I mean, we COULD just yield our kids to be raised by the state in pens by minimum-wage strangers and/or robots, I guess…

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#39

Post by doix »

gchamonlive wrote: post #34
adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

> The modern model is totally unsustainable/not scalable, but I'm not sure what the alternative should be. It's by design. Kids don't produce capital for the elites. We peasants aren't supposed to have kids, just waste away grinding so that those in power can accumulate more power, because they can pay others and have as many kids as they want, but we from the middle class will struggle with one or two. It's a form o…

> Kids don't produce capital for the elites.

Kids eventually grow up and "start producing capital". It's definitely beneficial for the "elite" in the long term for people to have kids.

Re: Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

#40

Post by gsinclair »

glitchc wrote: post #36
adverbly wrote: post #24

It's not the actual sleep. It's that parenting is exhausting. I could do physical labor for hours. Code straight for hours. But when I have to look after the 2 kids for 3 hours solo I'm totally exhausted. And I don't mean sit them in front of a TV - but actually try and feed them, change diapers, clean up after their messes, keep them entertained... Weekends are suddenly way more exhausting than weekdays. And then th…

I feel your pain. Parenting is exhausting, especially the first two years or so. Hang in there, it gets a lot better. Lowering standards also helps (Does the house really need to be that clean? Does the toddler need a bath every day?)

Our doctor told us not to give the baby/toddler a bath every day. Didn’t need to tell me twice.

(Every second day is fine, and better for their skin.)

Post reply on HN