> Old gay with tattoo of Osiris eye Not sure if that's a typo or not in Week 3... As the next one is > Old guy who brought his own towel
it was a typo
Talking to strangers at the gym
581–590 of 810 posts
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#582Earlier quoted context omitted.
Remote work is absolutely brutal to a cohesive functioning society. I know people are going to slam me for saying it but is honestly true. People forgot how to interact with each other because the forcing function that gets everybody mixed together into the same pot got taken away. And if you don’t take some fairly extreme steps to counter it, you’ll be completely alone and isolated, subject to algorithmically chosen…
> People forgot how to interact with each other because the forcing function that gets everybody mixed together into the same pot got taken away. A lot of offices don't force you to interact with each other, much less in meaningful ways. > And if you don’t take some fairly extreme steps to counter it, you’ll be completely alone and isolated Are "having more time to meet with friends and family" or "having time to do…
I have friends and family, but staring at a computer 8 hours or more a day is corrosive to my mental health.
And when I am in an office, I do interact with people, in meaningless and meaningful ways, whether I am forced to or not.
I know this does not apply to everybody, but I function best with constant low level social interaction. I should have picked a different career, but I didn't have that foresight.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#583Earlier quoted context omitted.
What's wrong is a society full of people who are avoidantly attached and full of trauma.
Trauma is overused. They're just neurotic.
They've been rendered neurotic, or their neurotic tendencies have become dominant through habituation, or they have developed anti-social behaviors in response to a combination of temperament and a society that is unable to promote pro-sociality.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#584> Old gay with tattoo of Osiris eye Was this a typo or … ?
it was a typo
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#585This is absolutely bonkers to me. We're not here to be scientifically experimented on or to make you feel better about yourself. The very idea that OP learned about places and activities that people participate in explicitly to be social and, instead, chose to touch people when they're not clearly wanting to chat is just wild. What do we have to do to discourage you from touching us? I mean I guess I'm glad that you'…
There was no mentioning of OP touching or taking advantage of others. I think you read this the wrong way.
dpkirchner was right, I did mention tapping people on the shoulder to get their attention. However I thought about it and I could only remember doing it once; the rest of the time, being in front of them was enough. So I just updated the article and removed the "tapping people on the shoulder" part, if you can't find it
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#586One of the things I like about this is that OP is giving people genuine compliments without any particular agenda. It reminds me of one of my favorite parts of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, where he tells a story about complimenting someone, and a student asks what he was hoping to gain from offering the compliment. Carnegie is incensed: > I was waiting in line to register a letter in the…
I avoided this book for a long time. for some reason I got it in my head that it's a sort of red pilled book that teaches you how to manipulate people. I know it's very shallow on my side, but I somehow crystallized this opinion based on a few acquaintances that claimed to read it and instead that they include the name of a person they just met in every sentence because it made that person like them more. Your commen…
You may be confusing this book with the 48 Laws of Power which is absolutely a book no one on hackernews should read because we have enough people in the tech industry scheming to get the upper hand on society as is.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#587One of the things I like about this is that OP is giving people genuine compliments without any particular agenda. It reminds me of one of my favorite parts of How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, where he tells a story about complimenting someone, and a student asks what he was hoping to gain from offering the compliment. Carnegie is incensed: > I was waiting in line to register a letter in the…
I avoided this book for a long time. for some reason I got it in my head that it's a sort of red pilled book that teaches you how to manipulate people. I know it's very shallow on my side, but I somehow crystallized this opinion based on a few acquaintances that claimed to read it and instead that they include the name of a person they just met in every sentence because it made that person like them more. Your commen…
Same! The name spam phenomenon turned me off, but if it preaches compliments without expectations it must be my kind of book…
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#588Yeah, the weight floor can be hit or miss with regards to striking convos with strangers. Many of the people there want to make friends too, but many just want to focus on their workout.
Two related contexts that I've found to be much more friendly for this:
1. Climbing gyms, for reasons mentioned previously
2. The sauna! Actually very ideal for convos with strangers. Max overlap time is ~15 minutes, people are generally relaxed, no phones to distract and if it doesn't go well either party can always leave.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#589Earlier quoted context omitted.
I find it so bitterly ironic that the people whose opinions we read the most of - the terminally online Redditors and tweeters - are exactly the kind of people we should not be listening to. Like you alluded to, the terminally online people who post the most tend to be those with neuroticism, isolation, severe anxiety, etc. There's a famous Reddit post about this I can't seem to find - "Everyone Online Is Insane" or…
Yes, this is a theory I've been thinking about too. Explains the rise of various political leaders very well. I find it funny that even the people who comment on the "Everyone Online Is Insane" post sound obsessive or outside the norm. I find it messes with my mental health when I read too many comments. In the real world I normally find people to be nice and kind. But then I go online and the world is totally differ…
> I find it funny that even the people who comment on the "Everyone Online Is Insane" post sound obsessive or outside the norm.
Well, yeah. I agree with the statement that "everyone online is insane", while also recognizing that I myself am online a lot, and think and behave differently from societal norms.
I think that's part of what is needed. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking and behaving differently from other people. What's abnormal is when people become absorbed in the internet, to the point that they fail to recognize that people in real life, people outside their Internet echo chambers, think and behave very differently.
Re: Talking to strangers at the gym
#590Here's how I made friends in the real world:
1) pickup basketball
2) aerobics/yoga/group fitness
3) triathlons
4) work