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How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

nate.leaflet.pub

11–20 of 390 posts

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#11
post #3

As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.

Self-help, therapy, etc. wouldn't be as big of a business if it was just autistic people doing that.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#12

This list is actually just narcissism combined with low self-esteem. For younger introverts, none of this behavior is necessarily anti-social if the group all shares these same traits. The moment a member of that group has any higher self-esteem than the rest, they will either see that individual as "cool" or as a threat (or both). To be truly anti-social is to either completely isolate yourself, or be unrelentingly…

I think the most important part of being antisocial is the ulterior motive for their hostility and refusal to situate themselves in an equitable or respectful social framework, which is invariably benefit to oneself. The type of benefit that an anti-social person seeks out is probably not like the usual suspects, though.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#13
post #3

As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.

I think that’s how everyone learns. Making mistakes and figuring out why that turned out poorly. Some are more innately good at it than others. I’m not particularly but I can learn from mistakes

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#15
post #3

As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.

Self-help, therapy, etc. wouldn't be as big of a business if it was just autistic people doing that.

Maybe people are social animals just because they have to.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#16
post #2

> dig in your heels when confronted with overwhelming dissent Of course, the majority is always right and we should yield to it right away /s

One heuristic for spotting when you might be wrong is that you hold a very uncommon belief.

It COULD be that you are correct and the world is crazy, but its far more likely that you are the one who is missing something. It's always worth stopping to double check when this happens.

Perhaps more importantly, if you do happen to be right when everyone else is wrong its important to determine your goals.

Is it more important to be right, or to be happy? If the answer is the latter then its sometimes best to just let people continue being wrong for the sake of being social. Nobody likes to be told they're wrong, so is "correctness" worth more than that person's feelings? Very oten it is not.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#17
post #3

As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.

As someone who identifies as autistic, I learned to smile and just listen. I’ll ask questions and try and put my little anecdotes in but for the most part I just let other people talk. Works reasonably well. I usually run afoul when the situation is serious and I show up with my smile.

What about when people start making fun of you for being silent?

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#18
I think this rather describes someone with a cognitive bias which can be cured rather than someone truly anti social (I know someone who I believe is anti social but they tick off a lot more boxes than this. There is an overlap for sure in what you described BUT its a lot more complex than this)

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#19
post #3

As someone who identifies as autistic, after particularly notable social encounters, I describe them, best I can, to ChatGPT, and damned if the thing doesn't explain why people reacted the way they did so I can do better next time.

Yeah. In the past I assumed that some people just sometimes randomly behave aggressively towards me for no good reason. But usually the reason is probably that I was unintentionally rude or strange with some sort of nonverbal communication or similar.

Re: How to be anti-social – a guide to incoherent and isolating social experiences

#20
post #2

> dig in your heels when confronted with overwhelming dissent Of course, the majority is always right and we should yield to it right away /s

One heuristic for spotting when you might be wrong is that you hold a very uncommon belief. It COULD be that you are correct and the world is crazy, but its far more likely that you are the one who is missing something. It's always worth stopping to double check when this happens. Perhaps more importantly, if you do happen to be right when everyone else is wrong its important to determine your goals. Is it more impor…

> sometimes best to just let people continue being wrong for the sake of being social

There's almost no time when it's better to try to convince somebody they're wrong. It won't help you, and it won't work anyway, so it won't help them either.

Sure if you're somebody's doctor, and even then you have to pick your battles.

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