Alone Together, Again

Thank you so much for posting this Alex.

I'm young enough for marriage to seem distant, and my parents are still married, yet more than half of the children I grew up with had divorced parents and I have several separated family members.

It's not uncommon for most of the families on a suburb block to be divorced, especially in certain areas (most of my affluent white friends had antagonistically divorced parents, mainly due to money)[1]. The U.S. still has a large problem with divorce (~50%), and especially with divorce among families with children.

Divorce is far too often considered "taboo", as stated in this article, which is quite a travesty because I've found discussion can provide great benefit to not only those already affected by it, but those contemplating long term relationships. We consider divorce a "failure" in modern society, and in my opinion that's very often not the case. Many times divorce can mean simply a resolution of irreconcilable differences. However the law, lack of openness and general societal pressure can turn even amicable splits ugly.

In the end I've found closure like the OP describes always the most helpful: realization that life continues to go on, and even things that you relate with the old relationship (in this case, technology) will still be there as they always were.

[1] I feel it's important to note that divorce rates are highly variable dependent upon ethnic groups and demographics

The fast-paced tech industry often has this effect on its devotees. People like Alex live their lives at an accelerated rate. They work hard. They make their money at a young age. They compare themselves and their lives to the people around them -- people often twice their age -- and wonder why they don't have what their elders often have: family, children, a sense of self-understanding. Alex is young; 27 years old, if I'm not mistaken. He's done more, created more, and experienced more than most people his age, including having a four-year marriage. Do you remember what four years of anything felt like when you were his age? It's an eternity. His angst at having lost it and, in part, his realization that the life he was constructing for himself was not the life he wanted, is completely justified.

He deserves immense credit for showing this level of transparency. If you haven't taken some lesson away from this post, then you need to re-read it. It's not about empathy; it's about the importance of self-discovery.

>The whole thing reads like someone who needs to do a lot more self-reflection.

He's 28; 4 years is a big chunk of that life. I'm not quite sure what you mean though. He seems to do some self-reflection, and this post is an example of it made public.

That's deep. Really deep.

People learn things when their mind is clear. During my teenage and college years, my mind was convoluted by ideal thoughts and I may have been blinded by those thoughts.

As I get older, I tend to sit back a little bit and observe more than be trigger-happy (in giving advises, in sharing opinions, in giving orders, etc.), I learn a lot more about life by doing this.

This seems to be similar to the concept of wu wei ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_wei )