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The perfect email

davidgcohen.com

11–20 of 43 posts

Re: The perfect email

#11
post #6

I'm only guessing here, but I think that most of the angel investors that I know will trash such an email after reading the first sentence and seeing how much more they still have to read.

There's a magical formula to not make that happen.

You write a sentence that makes the person want to read the next one.

Even busy people like to read interesting emails.

Re: The perfect email

#13
Original email writer here. I generally agree with the comments about how it could have been improved. In hindsight, it was probably too wordy. My impression is that David processes emails more "deeply" than the average person, so I think he could handle the wordiness. Others would probably trash it more quickly. I did get a very thoughtful response from David which actually helped us immensely. As a result of taking the path he suggested we've now got a great business going, and the main problem is hanging on to the rocketship it has become. Obviously, a high-class problem to have.

It took me a couple of hours to write the email. Definitely time well spent.

Re: The perfect email

#14
post #5

IMO this is too long, also not clear enough. Single sentence per line. Or two small ones. Clear ask on its own line, correct? Thanks, Startup Founder Startup Name and URL email / phone

While I agree in general that shorter emails are preferable - longer emails draw you in more and can really show that the sender has thought things through, thus making you more open to reciprocating.

Re: The perfect email

#15

Good post. This is approximately what I've been doing for the last two weeks as I try to contact specific developers to come work at famo.us. I spend time researching them, including reading their github code, twitter and G+ streams, LinkedIn, personal blog etc. If I can't find a solid connection between what their experience and the things they love to do then that is a signed that I haven't researched enough or tha…

I'd consider working at famo.us.

http://www.davidvaldman.com.s3-website-us-east-1.amazonaws.c...

Re: The perfect email

#17
post #3

And now I too am very curious what the response was, particularly whether location-based services are being over- or underestimated at the moment.

The response was that he generally advises startups in our situation to "dog food it" (i.e. build a solution on it first). That was the main feedback and it has worked out great for us. We have a high-value offering based on the platform as a result...and a long feature and product roadmap ahead of us.

On the topic of location-based services being over/underestimated there wasn't a clear reply from David. Our experience has been that there are great opportunities in solving problems for enterprise customers using mobile and location-based services. I can't really speak for the B2C opportunity.

Re: The perfect email

#18
The key to getting attention is to talk to someone about something they are interested in -- and everyone is interested in themselves.

Reading the email, it really felt as if it was from someone who already knew the OP well. If I'd read something like that about myself I would have question my first impression that this was a stranger -- surely we'd had coffee or something at some point? Met at a conference?

In the same way that mimicking body language influences someone, the email was couched in all kinds of casual point about "this is how we are alike".

Hit them right in the tribal monkey brain.

Re: The perfect email

#19
post #5

IMO this is too long, also not clear enough. Single sentence per line. Or two small ones. Clear ask on its own line, correct? Thanks, Startup Founder Startup Name and URL email / phone

While I agree in general that shorter emails are preferable - longer emails draw you in more and can really show that the sender has thought things through, thus making you more open to reciprocating.

That's why you include a URL. Otherwise, maybe put 3 lines up top, and more info below which could stand on its own.

I don't get anywhere near as much email as a professional investor, but unless it's from someone I know and actually want to hear from, or someone paying me, if it goes on for more than 3 lines without being compelling, I just hit delete.

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