A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022) • Hacker News Board

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#231

Post by 0x3f » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:10 AM UTC

tad_tough_anne wrote: post #193

gavmor wrote: post #113

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Really? You hold the fork with your dominant hand, and cut with your non-dominant hand?

Don't all younger Americans do this? Cutting food and pushing it onto the fork requires less dexterity than conveying it to one's mouth. I know Boomers who put down their knives after each cut (never using them to push) and swap their fork around before using it tines-down , and I think it's more comically affected than the tea–pinky thing.

You're not supposed to use the fork like a shovel, is the thing. The tines are to skewer the food, which is why tines-down makes sense. Otherwise, why not a spoon?

Also, the at-distance interaction between two tools requires much more dexterity than making your hand meet your mouth. The latter you should be able to do with your eyes closed.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#232

Post by alisonatwork » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:10 AM UTC

tomcam wrote: post #197

alisonatwork wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I feel like a lot of this is culture and class specific. I can't speak for Japan, but in China there are at least as many different levels of chopstick-using skill as anywhere in the west. Kids and elderly who can't pick up a peanut or a cherry tomato, people who find it entirely unproblematic to stab a slippery dumpling, people who think it's stupid to waste time trying to get fried rice into your mouth with chopsti…

lol describing me as an Orientalist will amuse my family to no end but you made some cogent observations. All I can say is: face is a big thing in China. I respect my in-laws hugely. I did not want them to lose face nor to be made to feel uncomfortable on my behalf if I could help it. As far as I can tell Orientalism and pride had nothing to do with it. Or maybe you’re right and I am a deeply closeted chiaboo. I’ll w…

Sorry, that wasn't really what I was getting at.

The thing I find interesting with orientalism is that it has a mirror in chauvinism from the other direction, both sides reinforcing the idea that there is something special about the cultural norms of people from East Asia in particular. It's almost as if there is a deliberate effort to reify cultural differences in a way that feels counterproductive.

I think these forces are especially noticeable living as a migrant to this part of the world, in that you sometimes find people gushing over you for being able to use what is actually a pretty unremarkable set of utensils or occasionally shitting on you for not knowing an obscure bit of etiquette that locals rarely perform. Either way it's just another form of the "western people like this, Chinese people like that" discourse which at best is vapid and at worst straight-up racist. I don't think it really helps to build a common sense of humanity.

Anyway, I feel like this kind of article is representative of the problem, in that it serves to create anxiety that there is some secret etiquette that must be performed in order to not be seen as an uncultured barbarian. Again, I have no experience with Japan so maybe they really are just That Damn Serious about how they use their chopsticks, but I doubt it. At least for me it was quite reassuring to find that - outside of the folks who really did hold chauvinist and/or racist views - most people in China cared no more about how I ate than how anyone else ate, and that the range of what was socially acceptable eating for all people was wide enough to make it clear that these sorts of articles tend to be either deliberately divisive or out-of-touch.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#233

Post by anilakar » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:12 AM UTC

RIMR wrote: post #128

fumeux_fume wrote: post #124

My heart is lightened to learn inserting the chopsticks into your mouth to make walrus fangs is not taboo.

I'm betting Kuwaebashi covers that.

It actually prohibits holding the chopsticks in your mouth. You have a chopstick rest (and workarounds) for that.

Just like the next term on the list does not prohibit eating food on the bottom but rather digging into the bowl instead of eating in top down order.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#234

Post by ghaff » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:22 AM UTC

Xixi wrote: post #125

cmcaleer wrote: post #105

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think if you were to do an Osaka version of this, the list would be limited to maybe 4 of these (licking, chopsticks upright in rice, passing between chopsticks, and pointing esp. toward a senior would be taboo). Whereas when I had a date with a girl from Kyoto, one of the first things that happened when we went to eat was she had to stop me from picking up my chopsticks impolitely and show me the proper way of doi…

I'm not sure I'd put it down entirely to Osaka versus Kyoto. My impression is that these things often have at least as much to do with upbringing, formality, and social background as with region. I don't know where you're from, so apologies if this is an unfair assumption, but in countries like the US or Australia people often seem less attuned to social class, whereas in places like the UK, France, and indeed Japan,…

In general, upper-classish dining probably used to be more formal in the US in terms of cutlery type and placement and other things. May still be in some circles but no one I know worries about such things and even very decent restaurants don’t. And when was the last time you saw a fish fork?

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#235

Post by jstanley » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:26 AM UTC

derefr wrote: post #172

wahnfrieden wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bringing the bowl close to your mouth and picking food up from it is proper. Pushing it from the bowl into your mouth is impolite but common.

So what are you expected to do with the last few sauce-soaked grains of rice that would at best be able to be plucked grain by grain from the bowl, and even then would likely slip from between the tips of the chopsticks? Just leave them in the bowl?

Use a knife and fork

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#236

Post by humanlity » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:28 AM UTC

aidenn0 wrote: post #88

emursebrian wrote: post #5

Most of these are common sense. As a tourist foreigner, you also aren't expected to know all the customs but it's appreciated when you try. The one about which direction to NOT point the chopsticks in was new to me. If you just watch what other people are doing, then try to do the same thing, you're probably on the right track. Related to eating, one pro-tip I got from a local is that when you're ready to close your…

1. I have seen Japanese people do approximately half of the things on the list. 2. The two listed as "serious" are related to Japanese funerary rites, and so are clearly culturally specific. 3. Several of the things listed are perfectly acceptable in other chopstick-using cultures. Many are also perfectly acceptable to do with a fork and/or knife in cultures that use forks and knives. I think I would go so far as to…

The use of incense to remember ancestors was spread widely across Asia by Confucianism. Chopsticks look quite similar to incense sticks, so it makes common sense to have this tradition.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#237

Post by jstanley » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:29 AM UTC

hatthew wrote: post #52

I'm curious for a native's opinion on how important these are. The etiquette I was taught growing up in the US is a mix of: - several things that are often quoted as good etiquette but nobody follows (elbows off the table, correct order of dishes) - lots of things that are customary but nobody cares if you don't follow it (napkin on lap, placement of silverware) - only a few things that actually matter and would be c…

I also understand that in the US it is the etiquette to cut your food up all at once, and then put the knife down, and then move your fork to your right hand, and then eat all the pieces using just the fork.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#238

Post by JasonADrury » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:29 AM UTC

locusofself wrote: post #157

I did this once and was scolded by my date: !!! (Serious) To stand chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice. This is taboo, as it is the way rice is presented as a Buddhist funeral offering.

It would also be completely inappropriate if you did that with a fork or a knife.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#239

Post by twelvedogs » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:31 AM UTC

RHSeeger wrote: post #136

rayiner wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You also see plenty of americans put their elbows on the table.

The original reasons for not putting your elbows on the table (limited space, as well as some others) just don't apply anymore. There's no reason _not_ to put your elbows on the table other than "that's how it's always been done". As such, at least in my opinion, the rule no longer applies.

Until you do it on a temporary table and knock over everyone's drinks

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#240

Post by mark_l_watson » Sat, Mar 21, 2026, 11:34 AM UTC

Fairly much common sense advice, with some cultural taboos like resting chopsticks pointing to the right.

I have always been a little embarrassed by my own use of chopsticks. When I was three or four years old a waitress in a Chinese restaurant helped me figure out a way to hold them that worked for me. Long story short, I am in my 70s and I have very effectively been getting food efficiently into my mouth with chopsticks my whole life - with horrible style.