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A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

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Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#191

Post by anotheryou »

derefr wrote: post #172
wahnfrieden wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bringing the bowl close to your mouth and picking food up from it is proper. Pushing it from the bowl into your mouth is impolite but common.

So what are you expected to do with the last few sauce-soaked grains of rice that would at best be able to be plucked grain by grain from the bowl, and even then would likely slip from between the tips of the chopsticks? Just leave them in the bowl?

I vaguely remember something about not finishing completely to acknowledge there was enough

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#192

Post by AdamN »

scheme271 wrote: post #175
rglullis wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seeing people fail to meet a standard does not mean that the standard does not exist.

I think the deeper question is whose standards and why should we consider them the standard?

Some of them of course are invented whole cloth. British Received Pronunciation was invented and needs to be learned and is the standard of the upper class. It's neither right nor wrong but it's there to differentiate.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#193

Post by tad_tough_anne »

gavmor wrote: post #113
kibwen wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an American, I don't think I have ever seen anyone do this.

Really? You hold the fork with your dominant hand, and cut with your non-dominant hand?

Don't all younger Americans do this? Cutting food and pushing it onto the fork requires less dexterity than conveying it to one's mouth. I know Boomers who put down their knives after each cut (never using them to push) and swap their fork around before using it tines-down, and I think it's more comically affected than the tea–pinky thing.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#194

Post by globular-toast »

My partner and I share everything we eat. I think we have passed food between chopsticks before. What's the "proper" way to do this? Just reach in to the other bowl?

Also wondering how many of these apply in a Chinese setting or any other chopstick culture. Are there a different set of taboos?

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#195

Post by pndy »

rvba wrote: post #180
maxerickson wrote: post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's not really a coherent statement. If people don't even know it, it's not part of the culture.

Is is also topic od relevance. Poland has honorifics that are probably on par to those in Japan, but since the language is difficult to learn and frankly speaking nobody cares about Poland, barely anyone even knows this. Also lots of corporations prefer "american style" approach of just refering by name (even to the CEO), so this dissapears. Probably could write few pages about this, but nobody would care to read.

I wonder what will become of our honorifics in upcoming decades. Our language changes so much under influence of English, imported sociopolitical trends that surely made some of our bards spin in their graves.

On a side note, I find interesting is that Czech language still naturally uses that plural form we abandon due to popularity of pan/pani forms.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#196

Post by bspammer »

aidenn0 wrote: post #88
emursebrian wrote: post #5

Most of these are common sense. As a tourist foreigner, you also aren't expected to know all the customs but it's appreciated when you try. The one about which direction to NOT point the chopsticks in was new to me. If you just watch what other people are doing, then try to do the same thing, you're probably on the right track. Related to eating, one pro-tip I got from a local is that when you're ready to close your…

1. I have seen Japanese people do approximately half of the things on the list. 2. The two listed as "serious" are related to Japanese funerary rites, and so are clearly culturally specific. 3. Several of the things listed are perfectly acceptable in other chopstick-using cultures. Many are also perfectly acceptable to do with a fork and/or knife in cultures that use forks and knives. I think I would go so far as to…

Both of the serious ones are not specific to Japan, I got told off in China for standing chopsticks up in rice. I suspect anywhere with a significant Buddhist population will have the same taboo.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#197

Post by tomcam »

alisonatwork wrote: post #179
tomcam wrote: post #170

I married an Asian woman I met at work. Our boss called me in to ask if I was serious about marrying her and I said yes. He asked if I wanted any advice and I sincerely answered that I did. Our marriage was necessarily disruptive because it meant that she would also defect. That would cause problems up and down the management chain. His advice was for me to learn how to use chopsticks. that’s it. Nothing else. I spen…

I feel like a lot of this is culture and class specific. I can't speak for Japan, but in China there are at least as many different levels of chopstick-using skill as anywhere in the west. Kids and elderly who can't pick up a peanut or a cherry tomato, people who find it entirely unproblematic to stab a slippery dumpling, people who think it's stupid to waste time trying to get fried rice into your mouth with chopsti…

lol describing me as an Orientalist will amuse my family to no end but you made some cogent observations. All I can say is: face is a big thing in China. I respect my in-laws hugely. I did not want them to lose face nor to be made to feel uncomfortable on my behalf if I could help it. As far as I can tell Orientalism and pride had nothing to do with it. Or maybe you’re right and I am a deeply closeted chiaboo. I’ll watch some anime or whatever and get right back to you.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#198

Post by rglullis »

rkomorn wrote: post #164
rglullis wrote: post #163

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seeing people fail to meet a standard does not mean that the standard does not exist.

When it comes to manners, I'd say seeing enough people fail to meet a standard means it's not a standard, at least.

No, that's argumentum ad populum.

Mind you, I'm not saying that standards must be followed. I am just saying the same thing I tell my kids:

- the standards are there, wishing they didn't exist doesn't invalidate them

- the reason rules and standards came to existence might or might not be applicable to our current context, but some people will expect you to follow them regardless.

- If a rule or standard seems silly to you, make your best attempt at understanding why people would still follow it. (Chesterton's fence)

- You are free to not comply to some rules, but always be ready to accept the consequences of your decisions.

- What your friends are doing or not doing is not reason enough for you to change your behavior or choices.

Re: A Japanese glossary of chopsticks faux pas (2022)

#200

Post by YeahThisIsMe »

rglullis wrote: post #198
rkomorn wrote: post #164

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When it comes to manners, I'd say seeing enough people fail to meet a standard means it's not a standard, at least.

No, that's argumentum ad populum. Mind you, I'm not saying that standards must be followed. I am just saying the same thing I tell my kids: - the standards are there, wishing they didn't exist doesn't invalidate them - the reason rules and standards came to existence might or might not be applicable to our current context, but some people will expect you to follow them regardless. - If a rule or standard seems silly…

But the populus sets the standards. If people decide not to follow a particular one anymore, it stops being the standard.
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