How to talk to anyone and why you should • Hacker News Board

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#361

Post by matwood » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:11 PM UTC

socalgal2 wrote: post #172

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

An old guy sat at the table next to mine at an outdoor cafe. I don't remember what I said to start the conversation but he told me he'd lived in Japan for 3yrs in the 50s, married a Japanese woman, they moved to Redondo Beach and she convinced him to buy a house more than they could afford. He said it was the best decision of their lives. He then said she'd past away a few years ago and they had no kids. I ask him wh…

Why would you stop talking right as the conversation was getting really interesting???

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#362

Post by tnel77 » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:17 PM UTC

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

Talking to strangers is one of my favorite things to do. Airplanes, trains, or just waiting at the coffee shop for them to make my drink. I have met so many interesting people and it’s almost always a joy.

Now, you occasionally end up talking to someone who confesses to you that their post-nuclear dream life is to be a mother figure to a band of semi-aware ghouls. Goofy in the moment, but makes for a great story to share over a beer!

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#363

Post by tnel77 » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:20 PM UTC

When I first my met father-in-law in my college days, we ended up going to the store to get my wife (then GF) some random supplies. I struck up a conversation with a stranger and my FIL asked his daughter, “Does he know that guy?” She laughed and replied, “Probably not.”

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#364

Post by Panzer04 » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:21 PM UTC

Agingcoder wrote: post #54

My kids make fun of me because I know the shopkeepers around me by first name, along with the details of their businesses , and that shopping takes forever because I talk to everyone, customers included. I just love it, it’s easy and I get a lot in return - from perks to incredible encounters. At work it’s been very helpful. I developed that skill while traveling alone for a year , and it boils down to practicing and…

It's interesting, because while having that skill is helpful I think part of the issue a lot of people have is an overturned sense for it - they will be worried they are getting judged for wasting their counterparts time.

It's good to have, but don't let not having it (yet) stop you!

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#365

Post by notepad0x90 » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:23 PM UTC

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

> People are lovely. Go out and try it.

I hope this is not an inappropriate question, but are you by any chance fit and/or attractive? I've heard that and being well dressed affects your experience with people a lot.

For me it's a mix, the majority at least try to be decent and pleasant, no argument there. But as with many other things, the minority who aren't tend to have a much bigger impact. Honestly, I'd take just being safe from violence from people is good enough for me, even that isn't a given.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#366

Post by TrianguloY » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:25 PM UTC

As someone who identifies with the text, a very introverted guy that almost never starts a conversation but it's able to maintain it once they other person starts it, and as someone who has never dated any girl (and failed to do so) I'll just say: almost every random person that talks with me...is a man.

It doesn't seems...fair...and, again, says a lot about society.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#367

Post by b40d-48b2-979e » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:26 PM UTC

TrianguloY wrote: post #366

As someone who identifies with the text, a very introverted guy that almost never starts a conversation but it's able to maintain it once they other person starts it, and as someone who has never dated any girl (and failed to do so) I'll just say: almost every random person that talks with me...is a man. It doesn't seems...fair...and, again, says a lot about society.

    says a lot about society

What does it say?

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#368

Post by astura » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:27 PM UTC

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

>People are lovely.

That just hasn't been my experience.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#369

Post by b40d-48b2-979e » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:28 PM UTC

notepad0x90 wrote: post #365

SequoiaHope wrote: post #11

After a bad breakup in 2015, I followed some advice from the socialskills subreddit to “talk to everyone” so that you get better at talking to women you might want to date. The advice was not to only talk to attractive people but everyone. The old man reading a Russian newspaper, the kid on bike doing tricks, people in the elevator. I do that now and it brings me a lot of joy. Recently while leaving a botanical garde…

> People are lovely. Go out and try it. I hope this is not an inappropriate question, but are you by any chance fit and/or attractive? I've heard that and being well dressed affects your experience with people a lot. For me it's a mix, the majority at least try to be decent and pleasant, no argument there. But as with many other things, the minority who aren't tend to have a much bigger impact. Honestly, I'd take jus…

    I'd take just being safe from violence from people

You might want to adjust your media diet because society often isn't just randomly violent.

Re: How to talk to anyone and why you should

#370

Post by b40d-48b2-979e » Mon, Mar 02, 2026, 1:29 PM UTC

bsenftner wrote: post #350

jjav wrote: post #307

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> I highly recommend talking to strangers! People are lovely. Go out and try it. Which country are you in? I'm from a latin country and the norm is that you end up chatting about life the universe and everything with any random people you share a space with for more than one minute. But in the USA that doesn't really fly. Talking is transactional, either a business deal is going on or shut up. I've been in the USA fo…

A lot of seemingly casual interactions in the US turn out to be someone trying to sell something. When that happens a 3rd time, you start to ignore random chatter from someone that seems too friendly. The salesperson tactics abuse common social conversation rules, and one ends up feeling like they are being forced to be mean and rude to an idiot. So, to avoid that, we push away chatty strangers in the United States.

    we push away chatty strangers in the United States

Where? I've lived on the coasts, I live in the Midwest, that has not been my experience aside from anti-social persons.