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Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

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Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#21

Post by palata »

> That’s why lying or withholding information that affects them causes irreversible damage. They might not leave immediately, but they will resent you. [...] I have a friend who still resents a manager for a lie told three years ago.

Oh yeah. To be fair, it's not only the case for managers. If a colleague lies to me, they lose my trust. But I have never had that... why would a colleague lie to my face or withhold information? That's a thing bad managers do.

When a manager lies to me (or withhold information), it's never one time only; it's the way they work. And when they work like this, they are not in my team. They play against me, so I play against them.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#22

Post by [deleted] »

bravetraveler wrote: post #2

Whoa an EM that talks to clients? A rare treat. I just got a browbeating because I (an IC) didn't jump at the chance to do more (that) for ~free~ growth. Ahem. Mind you, we have piles of both kinds of PMs: product, project. Best I can tell, they play video games between calls/status updates. Forgot the blur on more than one occasion. Clownshow, myself included.

[deleted]

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#24

Post by jrflowers »

pplonski86 wrote: post #19
andros wrote: post #7

I completely agree with point 9

Maybe point 9, trust but verify, should be extended to AI coworkers as well. I would love to have tools to verify AI code by quantity.

Whatever human that is in charge of the chat bots is your coworker. That person that is responsible for the output of the bots is the one that you would trust but verify with.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#25

Post by Traster »

>I wondered, “Who is this feature even for? Who will use it?” No one on my team knew.

I think there's another key here - Don't assume someone else knows something. If you don't know why something is done some way, find out who does and make sure they do. I've been in so many situations where the organization gets complex - person A is loaned over here or person B is working on project X because team Y needed feature Z. So frequently you'll find out that core assumptions have been made because everyone involved was only half-involved and either kind of assumed someone else was taking care of it, or (more frequently) knows the assumption is wrong but is choosing not to say so for political reasons.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#26

Post by Schlagbohrer »

Good advice in the last point about interviews. "While you're scheduling the seventh round, good hires are already accepting a job elsewhere." I gave up on a job I was lukewarm about when, after flying me there for an all day site visit and hours and hours of technical interviews, they then wanted me to do 3 days of video calls with various groups around the company! People i could have simply met for 15 minutes in person when I was there. In all the time this took I accepted a much better job closer to home.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#27

Post by CBLT »

vachina wrote: post #23

All these properties of a good manager will come naturally with humility. Because being humble makes you more receptive.

I've had great experiences being managed twice by very humble engineers who've made the transition to EM. Both were sacked within the year by their boss because they didn't play the corporate politics game.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#28

Post by Schlagbohrer »

Traster wrote: post #25

>I wondered, “Who is this feature even for? Who will use it?” No one on my team knew. I think there's another key here - Don't assume someone else knows something. If you don't know why something is done some way, find out who does and make sure they do. I've been in so many situations where the organization gets complex - person A is loaned over here or person B is working on project X because team Y needed feature…

I sympathize with keeping one's mouth shut for political reasons. Having a boss who angrily shouts at anyone who dared use their own brain and offer an idea, I learned to keep my mouth firmly shut even if i saw countless problems coming down the road.

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#29

Post by Schlagbohrer »

CBLT wrote: post #27
vachina wrote: post #23

All these properties of a good manager will come naturally with humility. Because being humble makes you more receptive.

I've had great experiences being managed twice by very humble engineers who've made the transition to EM. Both were sacked within the year by their boss because they didn't play the corporate politics game.

It's so disheartening to learn that one works for a manager who doesn't care about having the most skilled team, or best product, but rather someone who has selected for "Who will kiss up to me no matter what? Who will never tell me anything I don't want to hear?"

Re: Things I've learned in my 10 years as an engineering manager

#30

Post by snarf21 »

palata wrote: post #21

> That’s why lying or withholding information that affects them causes irreversible damage. They might not leave immediately, but they will resent you. [...] I have a friend who still resents a manager for a lie told three years ago. Oh yeah. To be fair, it's not only the case for managers. If a colleague lies to me, they lose my trust. But I have never had that... why would a colleague lie to my face or withhold inf…

There is an old saying that rings true here: "People don't quit jobs, they quit bosses."
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