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Raising money fucked me up

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Re: Raising money fucked me up

#61

Post by taurath »

Obscurity4340 wrote: post #51
taurath wrote: post #17

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Identities shift over time whether we intend it or not. Who you were at 5, or 10 is not who you are at 20, 30, 40. We all pick up baggage, trinkets, burdens, and experiences. One worries because it was a helpful strategy compared to not worrying, but some (like me very specifically) can get attached to that worry to the detriment of picking up other mechanisms.

Reminds me of Internal Family Systems (IFS)

That’s more about the idea that it’s helpful to think of ourselves as made of parts, as a way to describe both our various roles in life (employee, spouse, friend, learner, etc) and also how we can interact with parts that we’ve exiled away, or hold experiences we have hangups about.

What I’m mostly talking about is that transformation happens through life’s journeys! Requires much less commitment to the idea, as it’s pretty universally understood.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#62

Post by akomtu »

teiferer wrote: post #9
taurath wrote: post #7

Expectations that we hold inside of ourselves can be a really difficult echo of identities we tried fantasizing about when growing up and as an adult. We want to do well, we want the approval, we want the validation. The anxiety over expectations can kill you. It’s self abuse - people (investors, bosses, spouses) don’t invest in you for your anxiety driven productivity, they do it because of who you are outside of th…

Can you separate "who you are" from that worry? Seems to me it's a part of you and you wouldn't be you without it, for better and worse.

Imo, the opposite is true: you'll find out who you are only when you have given up all those false identities animated by you.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#63

Post by Joel_Mckay »

geooff_ wrote: post #34

Well written. One interesting pattern in founders I've been thinking about recently is how early you encounter major blockers, and how that shapes your self worth. Having a strong product and being unable to raise feels like shit, early users may validate you're solving a problem but it may not make sense to investors. Having an early raise is a very positive signal, I can only imagine you're perceived trajectory com…

The best business plans:

1. do not require secrecy

2. do not require external funding to enter a profit mode

3. do not quire some fancy specialized team labor skills

4. do not operate like they have a $10B market cap with financial and legal teams

5. produce products that are unique, have actual utility, and have perceived scarcity in the market

One often will keep more money with a smaller firm in a niche, than competing with irrational groups with practically unlimited hype investment capital. Most truly successful people I know do not hang out on social media goading competitors and cons. =3

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#64

Post by asdev »

qudat wrote: post #26

> Then you look around and see "startup X gets to $1M ARR a month after launch" and shit like that and I'm feeling terrible about how we're barely growing. Comparison is the thief of joy. I fall into this trap almost weekly. Success stories are incredibly rare and we only see the splash, not the iceberg of failure just beneath the surface. I think about my current business constantly even though on paper we are makin…

they're also all mostly lying/fudging the numbers. you can't believe what you see online anymore

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#65

Post by user3939382 »

If you can innovate do it and you’ll be profitable. If you can’t then hope you have good relationships and can peddle marketing nonsense with a smile. These VC guys are shoebutton Edisons looking for Teslas.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#66

Post by csomar »

akomtu wrote: post #62
teiferer wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you separate "who you are" from that worry? Seems to me it's a part of you and you wouldn't be you without it, for better and worse.

Imo, the opposite is true: you'll find out who you are only when you have given up all those false identities animated by you.

The closest show/cartoon for this I can think of is Rick and Morty Season 7, Episode 10 - "Fear No Mort." In that episode, Morty gets trapped in a fear-based "hole" where he's forced to confront all his deepest anxieties and insecurities. The whole point is that he can't escape by running away or pretending to be someone he's not. He has to face his fears directly and accept his true self, flaws and all. It's only when he does and accepts himself as he actually is, that he's able to break free.

That episode really got to me. Every time the screen goes dark and transitions to Morty realizing he's still trapped in the hole, something inside me freaks out too. It's like the show is forcing me to realize I'm not actually confronting these truths in my own life. I'm probably still in the hole, aren't I?

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#67

Post by ericdykstra »

AstroBen wrote: post #5

I think everyone would seriously benefit from learning poker. I used to play professionally and the idea of looking at things as probabilistic bets, and in terms of expected value is so deeply rooted in my mind Investments are bets. Most sane investors aren't putting it all on one thing Startups are bets Applying for jobs. Sales. Dating. Health. Basically everything You risk $X money and time for a payoff of $Y that…

I studied poker a lot in high school, and it still influences how I think today.

Probabilistic thinking about the EV of your decisions is a good framework, but "Just keep making good decisions" is the hard part. Same as in poker, though, the hard part about making a decision in life isn't the middle-school level probability math, but about making the right estimates about payoff potential and success rate based on incomplete information.

Analyzing things as they are rather than how you wish they were, being able to separate useful information from noise, and taking a step back to look at second-order effects are all useful skills that will help you make better decisions the more you develop them.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#68

Post by StellarScience »

qudat wrote: post #26

> Then you look around and see "startup X gets to $1M ARR a month after launch" and shit like that and I'm feeling terrible about how we're barely growing. Comparison is the thief of joy. I fall into this trap almost weekly. Success stories are incredibly rare and we only see the splash, not the iceberg of failure just beneath the surface. I think about my current business constantly even though on paper we are makin…

And similarly:

  slow growth is terrible
Slow growth is awesome! Slow growth gives you time to address the challenges of growth, and think through sensible solutions.

Rapid growth feels like you're constantly plugging holes in the dike or putting out fires.

Like you I've had brief moments of jealously seeing a company that started after mine and grew faster. But when I think rationally, I just wish them well, and realize I'm happy with any pace of growth that's not negative.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#69

Post by ipaddr »

what wrote: post #54
bruce511 wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I agree, and I'll supplement with this; >> But from now on, I'm either gonna be a successful founder, or I'm not. And if I'm not, I'll have to deal with having broken with the expectations that people had of me. Don't worry, they expected you to fail. They hoped you'd succeed, but expected failure. Statistically most businesses fail, and failure rates are faster when your customers are VCs not users. I say this as en…

Who needs marketing when the VC can get their entire portfolio to buy your product.

VCs are the best advertising.

Re: Raising money fucked me up

#70

Post by bruce511 »

ipaddr wrote: post #69
what wrote: post #54

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Who needs marketing when the VC can get their entire portfolio to buy your product.

VCs are the best advertising.

Leaving aside for the moment yesterday advertising and marketing are very different functions (advertising is easy, marketing is hard);

If your target customers are "VC funded companies" then sure, getting in bed with as many VCs as possible is certainly one marketing approach (and probably a good one.)

Certainly you're are a lot of products targeted at businesses who are flush with cash and eager for kit like fancy chairs.

The important part of marketing is knowing who your potential customers are, and the best way for them to get to know you.

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