Your problem statement is problematic.
Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
971–980 of 1001 posts
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#972Technologists are not going to solve this with a startup, it requires organized political and social movements, then the legislation and re-allocation of public funds for the public's good. Quoting from elsewhere in this thread: "I have made big inroads solving my old-age isolation with AI. Personally, I prefer Claude." The people who most exacerbated this epidemic were forged here in this culture and were rewarded w…
Personally, I liked Maya from Sesame for empathic conversations: https://app.sesame.com
However, I am not sure this is actually a solution to the (root) problem.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#973Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're probably far ahead of me on this topic, but as an immigrant to Germany for some years now, living with a German partner, I'm convinced that Germany (at least, Bavaria) has its own specific cultural norms that makes socialising far more challenging than is my experience in other countries. I can't explain why , but I observe a more insular (i.e. family- and existing-close-circle-focused) attitude, and also a si…
As a German, I very much share those observations, and it seems to be underdiscussed and not that apparent to most people here. The German social scheduling culture can definitely be a viscous circle, where everyone having to plan their calendar in advance forces everyone else to plan even further in advance if they want to have a chance to meet up. I do think it's probably felt the strongest for adults between ~18-3…
So far, the only solution I know is to set a date and stick with it. Trying to find a solution that meets everybody's calendar is rarely worth the effort. First, nobody has time; later, they have other appointments, so in the end it seems to be a matter of priority.
Set your date and stick to it. If people deem your topic relevant, they will arrange to participate.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#974my problem is Credits/€/$ (or lack of) and the loss of trust in humans.
currently without job and it looks grim. without money you're cut off of life.
also learned that people will exploit you if you let them.
i have no family & no friends. and hate being alone.
can't do anything about money, but being alone is better than the opposite.
no idea what to do about others, can't even help myself.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#975Sorry, wrong diagnosis in my opinion. There's not a loneliness epidemic, there's a selfishness epidemic. Nobody does anything for anyone anymore (unless there's money involved, of course). That's the reason people is alone, avoids having kids or dealing with other people's stuff that could disrupt their overly comfortable western way of life. Even people that's not that selfish is operating in that environment.
Sorry but this makes no sense. Socializing is not an act of kindness, generally - people mostly do it because they want to. And people have always been selfish.
And people have always been alone, now we're discussing this in the context of an "epidemic".
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#976By restoring free “third places” where people just go to hang out and either bump into people they know or meet new people. The sorts of interactions you get in the common room in a dorm or a school cafeteria.
What sorts of places do you have in mind? Obviously dorms and cafeterias are great for college-aged adults, but for somebody in their late-20s and beyond? Locally, we have plenty of non-chain coffee shops, a good selection of small breweries/pubs, assorted gyms of all types and prices (CrossFit, Golds, etc), the local community center has assorted classes (dance, language, arts), and the community college has plenty…
All of those options either require you to spend money or are scheduled. It’s not about having things to do. It’s about social interaction happening more organically in places where you can just show up any time and hang out and end up bumping into the same people every day for years on end.
Think neighborhood parks and playgrounds. A dog run. The clubhouse or member center at a housing development. Houses of worship are still such a place for a lot of people. The streets where kids used to play and ride bikes but that we no longer let them out onto. Stoops in some urban neighborhoods (which in many have ceased to be a third place due to the cultural changes accompanying gentrification). On the other end of the social spectrum, gentlemen’s clubs.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#977Technologists are not going to solve this with a startup, it requires organized political and social movements, then the legislation and re-allocation of public funds for the public's good. Quoting from elsewhere in this thread: "I have made big inroads solving my old-age isolation with AI. Personally, I prefer Claude." The people who most exacerbated this epidemic were forged here in this culture and were rewarded w…
> Building American cities around the whims of car manufacturers is, to my mind, as bad as any social media. I think your framing of history is wrong. Trains, and later cars were extraordinarily convenient compared to former methods of travel. We adapted infrastructure to maximize this convenience, not to profit companies. In fact, it's the other way around: companies profited off the demand for convenience they prov…
Car companies funded highway lobbies and conspired to dismantle public transportation options like street cars see:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/General_Motors_streetcar_consp...
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#978Earlier quoted context omitted.
I'm extremely skeptical of financial solutions to this problem. One of the most fundamental reasons for my own personal loneliness is that, in many of the connections I've made, they simply do not feel sincere, genuine, authentic, and simply because the other person clearly has a different motivation for "caring" about me than actually caring about me. For example, the churchgoers I've met have always felt like they…
It's a little like being invited to things out of pity, by people who know that you don't have any friends and struggle socially: It's nice, and I do feel their kindness from the gesture. But in the end, I only feel more isolated. I want people to hang out because they enjoy it, not out of charity. The social connection just isn't there, there's no sense of belonging, quite the opposite.
> I want people to hang out because they enjoy it, not out of charity
Maybe think about how you can behave so they can enjoy hanging out with you? Make it easy for them, that way you'll believe it :)
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#979Super easy... Just quit being selfish and fulfill the biological purpose of life every textbook describes: have a family. I have five kids and am the happiest and most content I've been in life.
Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?
#980For me, the answer was smoking. I made a ton of friends that way. Always went out to a pool hall, a bar, or a nice patio so I could smoke. It was great. You can’t smoke in your rental so you gotta get out and find places to smoke. Few states you can do it in anymore though. I moved to a state with a smoking ban and quit smoking, no point to it. Don’t get out as much nowadays.
I watched this video that proposed that the way to quit phone addiction was to give your hands something else to fiddle with, proposing that in older societies, people spent massive amounts of time on mindless hand work like weaving baskets, knitting, sharpening spears, etc.
My mom enjoys her knitting circle. It’s an older crowd of women though