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Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

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Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#181

Post by stronglikedan »

ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

> Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. ...there is also no reward.

Like hell there isn't. Speak for yourself.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#182

Post by fatbird »

csours wrote: post #48

I don't have a full answer, but a couple thoughts: 1. Volunteer. Somewhere, anywhere, for a good cause, for a selfish cause. Somebody will be happy to see you. 2. Stop trolling ourselves. As far as I can tell, all of the mass social media is trending sharply towards being a 100% troll mill. The things people say on social media do not reflect genuine beliefs of any significant percentage of the population, but if we…

Whatever else you think of Bluesky, it's a place where trolling and doomerism are rejected. The nuclear block (and a culture of block, don't engage) does wonders for denying actual trolls an audience, and secondarily for permitting people to do the virtual equivalent of walking away from someone who's behaving badly. In particular, doomerism about Trump is minimized there the same way.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#183

Post by jokoon »

publicdebates wrote: post #19
jokoon wrote: post #16

Make a social network that is centered around people who live in a 1 kilometer radius Make them interact and do things, generally they will be less toxic because it will reduce their online disinhibition effect. Make them have meals, meet, walk at the park, whatever.

I have considered a "physical social network". Standing on my usual street corner and holding a sign that directs strangers to join me and whoever else shows up, for a casual chat at the local coffee place at a specific time, with a few topics for conversation listed on the sign up front. If anyone has ideas for those topics, let me know, I'm likely to do it this Sunday.

you laugh, but bringing people back to reality might require using screens to do it

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#184

Post by tyg13 »

throwaway314155 wrote: post #166
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

> 2. Join a religious organization. Go to church, but also join the mens/womens group, join a bible studies class. Attend every week. So no atheists then?

Surprised to see this comment strike a nerve with the HN crowd. That was my first thought as well. Religious organizations? No thanks.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#185

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

I'll say the same thing that I always do. For some reason, it's not popular, hereabouts, but it's worked for me, for over 45 years.

Get involved with volunteer/gratis work. Join an advocacy/charity group. Do stuff for free.

HN members have really valuable skills that can make an enormous difference.

Joining a volunteer organization brings together passionate, action-minded people that already share a common platform.

It can also teach us a lot. My personal career was significantly helped by what I learned, doing volunteer work.

Boom. Loneliness problem solved.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#186

Post by nyrikki »

arjie wrote: post #104
nyrikki wrote: post #73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think [0] is showing what you think it does. > % Very satisfied with the way things are going in personal life That Dropped from 65% in 2020 to 44% in 2025 > Record-Low 44% of Americans Are 'Very Satisfied' With Their Personal Life Also focusing on the raw percentages of these style reports is challenging, due to socially desirable response bias [0] The fact it is dropping is the important part, it is a relat…

* Gallup (not Gallop) has the English questions and responses in the PDF at the bottom of the page. They will also respond if you email them so you can check if wording changed significantly. * Yes, I am pretty sure the Gallup thing is showing exactly what I think it does considering I said "81% are [somewhat] satisfied or very satisfied" and the Gallup survey shows that 81% are somewhat satisfied or very satisfied.…

I was looking at the PDF [0] and [1] and [0] calls out:

> In addition to sampling error, question wording and practical difficulties in conducting surveys can introduce error or bias into the findings of public opinion polls.

``QN5:Personal Satisfaction is a binary question``, with a category for refused/didn't know that WAS NOT OFFERED IN THE QUESTION, with an additional question asking about very, sort of etc... They call out `QN5QN6COMBO: Personal Life Satisfaction`

I can't answer the HN sentiment straw man, the DELTA from previous results is what is important. Using it as an absolute scale would almost certainly be discouraged if you asked them via the email address in the PDF.

Basic statistics realities here, and Gallup knows the limits far better than the comment section here. And they understand that "81% are [somewhat] satisfied or very satisfied" especially when presented as two trivial properties, has limitations.

Once again they asked:

> In general, are you satisfied or dissatisfied with the way things are going in your personal life at this time?

Then followed up with:

> Are you very [satisfied/dissatisfied], or just somewhat [satisfied/dissatisfied]?

Note how both of those are binary, with a NULL being an option to mark down as an exception.

You do not have quintiles at all.

[0] https://carsey.unh.edu/sites/default/files/media/2020/07/gal...

[1] https://news.gallup.com/poll/1672/satisfaction-personal-life...

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#187

Post by publicdebates »

Yoric wrote: post #87
peterspath wrote: post #74

Go to church. Data from various studies, including those from academic institutions and public health organisations, supports the idea that regular church attendance helps reduce loneliness by fostering social connections, support networks, and a sense of community. 1. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3551208/ 2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-flourishing/20... 3. https://hrbopenresearch.org/ar…

For what it's worth, I tried that a few years ago. It worked for a while. Then I realized that my church relationships were paper thin and that I'd be forgotten the day I stopped coming and/or I started showing that I didn't really believe in what was preached. Got better connections through improv acting and role-playing game. YMMV

This has been my experience with meeting people at churches, too.

They always seem like they're only talking to you either to get you to become a member or to satisfy their own conscience, but never because of you.

And it's been proven to me too many times. No thanks, not trying that again.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#188

Post by ecshafer »

swah wrote: post #124
ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

1. fair 2. did this but they are all 80+ 3. ok 4. not that good at anything, too old for most groups. gym no one talks with anyone. bjj was the best for this, since its more older and mostly men 5. remote work ruined my mental health

As far as 2 goes: As far as churches go. The type of church matters a lot. If you go to a Universalist Unitarian, or progressive Lutheran Church, yeah itll probably be 80+. Evangelical/Baptist, Latter Day Saints, Orthodox, Catholic (more traditional parishes) all are significantly younger. The more conservative the denomination the younger the congregation. The more liberal, the older they are. With conservative/liberal being adherence to scripture. This also tracks to Judaism, with Reformed Synagogues being much older than Orthodox. I am not sure and haven't seen numbers of Islam, Buddhism, etc. i the US.

For 4: You don't really have to be good for like a rec league kickball, or beer league golf. Gyms are better if youre doing classes though I think, like BJJ or wrestling.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#189

Post by s1mon »

csours wrote: post #48

I don't have a full answer, but a couple thoughts: 1. Volunteer. Somewhere, anywhere, for a good cause, for a selfish cause. Somebody will be happy to see you. 2. Stop trolling ourselves. As far as I can tell, all of the mass social media is trending sharply towards being a 100% troll mill. The things people say on social media do not reflect genuine beliefs of any significant percentage of the population, but if we…

I would also argue that even people who I like a lot and have known for many years can be very different "people" online than in person. It's sometimes shocking the dichotomy. I try to remind myself and others to ignore some of the online weirdness and focus on the in person interaction.

Re: Ask HN: How can we solve the loneliness epidemic?

#190

Post by browningstreet »

ecshafer wrote: post #45

People need to purposefully and intentionally do things. Sitting home on an app, watching TV is easy. There is no fear or rejection, there is no work to get out of the house, there is no risk. But there is also no reward. My thoughts on this are you need to have multiple roots into your community. This is something that you go to often and talk to people, become a regular, say hi. Think back to how your parents or gr…

A somewhat cynical response given the frequency of this topic/question being posted here and on other social media platforms. Add a weak "/s but not really" if you want:

People sitting at home living on apps and watching TV who decide to go to a new group social event to change things up will struggle to make a connection with someone else who was at home on an app and watching TV deciding to get out and meet someone else.

The people who have friends.. already have friends. Those who don't are numerous social cycle iterations in on that.

And how long before those people just end up talking about TV shows anyway?

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